AIBU to ask you for the funniest reasons you've lost interest in someone?

[BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust]

I did one of these threads under a different username a couple of years ago with hundreds and hundreds of replies and it genuinely brought me to tears. I can't find it to read back on.

I'm recovering from surgery and laying horizontal and was hoping some of you could revive your funny / cringy experiences to brighten my day.

After a long marriage, I have spent the last 3 years being superbly single and here are some that I have been through, which immediately gave me the 'ick.'

• I was taken on a lovely date in London. Really hit it off well. He drove me home (rooky error) and proceeded to indicate around every bend and curve in the road. I got home, thanked him for his time and blocked him.

• next one was a guy I was seeing for a few months. He told me 6 days in 'I generally really love you.' And would type Mabye instead of maybe. I just couldn't get over it.

• getting jiggy with someone. I proceeded to use my hand to help me along. After the deed was done and I (finally) got there, he proceeded to well up with actual tears and told me I shouldn't need to do that, and to give him constructive feedback on his performance so I wouldn't need to do that in future. I didn't sleep with him again.

• Those fucking ridiculous ballerina socks men wear. This might be trivial but I just wait for any bloke wearing them to burst into a full pirouette. This was also the same guy as above.

• Another hinge guy would send 😂 after every message. What are you up to today? 😂
I'm just getting home from work 😂

I have so many more. Many many more. Please tell me your experiences to remind me why I need to stay single!

Hang on Botox for sweaty feet? Is this a mumsnet thing! Although I agree trainer socks do immediately fall down and you end up essentially bare foot in the trainers anyway, yet I keep trying!

It doesn't do anything to the size of your feet, it prevents them from sweating

I've seen what it does to lips - I'm not taking any chances!

Oh hell I’ve seen the pic of the socks OP was referring to! Why on earth would a bloke need those, they are for wearing under ballerina pumps/court shoes 😱

When did I say it was horrific, disgusting or offensive? And it wasn’t a relationship, it was a first date. And I didn’t end it there and then, we had (and paid for) the meal but the bad joke put me off him. I thought this thread was daft reasons you didn’t want to go out with someone! Bad sense of humour is worse than bad socks surely, you can buy someone new socks but you are pretty much stuck with their lousy sense of humour!

I went on a double date with my friend and 2 guys we really fancied when we were 18. At the end of the date we were dropping both of the guys off and they got us out of the car to slow dance under the stars. They were staring into our eyes and we both got the massive ick. Got back into the car and both of us cracked up laughing and never called them again.

Last night me and DH were out in Brighton and the couple next to us in the restaurant were clearly on a 1st or 2nd date. It was a pizzeria (that does some pasta) and the guy said 'oh I don't like pizza' I've never seen someone look so disappointed in someone 😁She was like 'really?!'. I feel like it may have been their last date!

Right, bad humour isn't good, but we can't anticipate how every joke is going to land, and inevitably, everyone will make jokes that aren't particularly funny.

You're saying that you were put off by a bad joke. But since everyone will inevitably make bad jokes, the only alternative is that people never make jokes at all.

Lips are filler, not botox.

Are you trolling me? Probs.

What an utterly bizarre conclusion to come to. We all have different senses of humour, someone else may have found his rubbber gloves joke hilarious. I didn’t and married someone else. The end.

Had a runny nose but only one nostril, everytime i looked at him i just kept seeing the drip..
Was wearing a sleeveless puffer jacket

He wore bright white swim shorts …

What happens if he makes a joke tomorrow that you don't like?

Bore off @shuggles

Everyone knows you fold each slice and layer it (3 slices) never rolled add wee twists of cucumber and a rose petal tomato skin.🧑‍🍳

That was my late partners fave meal 😂😂

Ooh the bastard!

Nothing wrong with keeping bread in the freezer. Especially if you live alone and only have a slice a day for toast.

What’s the problem with freezing bread? You think it’s better to chuck away uneaten bread?

I will divorce him.

Oh my god!

This is very true

LTB

Oh my dear God 😱

Ex boyfriend from the late 90s was called Dave. He referred to his penis as “Little Dave” and when he had plans with his mates he’d call it Davey Time. He had taught himself not to fart because it was gross (his wording), he went on holiday to America with his family for 2 weeks and then came back and was using lots of Americanisms and an American accent (until I said he sounded daft). I remember the expression on a lovely lady in a sandwich shop in the centre of Birmingham repeating “the bathroom?” and I had to explain he meant the toilet.
I dumped him in the end when I went on a school residential (as a trainee teacher) and we had had an argument before I left and he had said something horrible so I didn’t text him when I was away as I was waiting for him to apologise. When I got back absolutely knackered from 3 nights with 34 8 year olds, he accused me of not going on the trip but having an affair with the caretaker. At that point I had had enough!

I got the ick when all he ate was beans,chips and undercooked bacon

The sight of him shoving pink,flabby bacon in his mouth still makes me dry heave 30+ years on

He gagged on a piece of chicken-that was the end

Another added ketchup to everything

Watching him scoff a roast or curry while swimming in ketchup was revolting