AIBU to ask you for the funniest reasons you've lost interest in someone?

[BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust]

I did one of these threads under a different username a couple of years ago with hundreds and hundreds of replies and it genuinely brought me to tears. I can't find it to read back on.

I'm recovering from surgery and laying horizontal and was hoping some of you could revive your funny / cringy experiences to brighten my day.

After a long marriage, I have spent the last 3 years being superbly single and here are some that I have been through, which immediately gave me the 'ick.'

• I was taken on a lovely date in London. Really hit it off well. He drove me home (rooky error) and proceeded to indicate around every bend and curve in the road. I got home, thanked him for his time and blocked him.

• next one was a guy I was seeing for a few months. He told me 6 days in 'I generally really love you.' And would type Mabye instead of maybe. I just couldn't get over it.

• getting jiggy with someone. I proceeded to use my hand to help me along. After the deed was done and I (finally) got there, he proceeded to well up with actual tears and told me I shouldn't need to do that, and to give him constructive feedback on his performance so I wouldn't need to do that in future. I didn't sleep with him again.

• Those fucking ridiculous ballerina socks men wear. This might be trivial but I just wait for any bloke wearing them to burst into a full pirouette. This was also the same guy as above.

• Another hinge guy would send 😂 after every message. What are you up to today? 😂
I'm just getting home from work 😂

I have so many more. Many many more. Please tell me your experiences to remind me why I need to stay single!

This is my ABSOLUTE favourite 😅 Succinct, totally understandable

Not the main reason we broke up, but a big factor. My ex boyfriend read "How to make friends and influence people" and did this thing where he'd keep repeating the name of the person he was talking to whilst having a conversation with them.

"So, tell me Lynn, do you like fish Lynn? Have you been to Sardinia Lynn?" Etc etc

He thought it made him seen interested. I thought it made him seem like a that at best and a serial killer at worst (see Paul Allen scene in American Psycho).

Hahaa thankfully he wears the full trainer sock ones, not those freaky things OP posted for wearing under pumps 😱😱

Ok he can stay 😂

He didn’t know what watermelon was…it was the first date

I had no idea that such an abomination actually existed! No wonder you let him go!

Wouldn’t have said psychopath but def smarmy used car salesman, so you were totally justified

That was very quick of him, though.

All these people asking what ballerina socks are! I had no idea so I google imaged them and voila!! There they were! Turns out I did know what they were but not what they were called.

Oh Jesus. Those poses. I see what you mean. I've worn them myself in cold weather as an extra layer under tights - until today I didn't know men wore them. I wish I could go back to that time.

He was running me a bath and when I went into the bathroom he was leaning over, swilling the water, and there were clingons. The plan was for us to bathe together.

He left his coat, went back to the table to get it and then as he came back to me did a kind of skippy gallop, at the same time throwing his coat back over his shoulder. Immediate ick.

I have lost interest in women for the following reasons:

Having a massive body count - I feel these things should be personal business and im not interested in knowing peoples business. People can make their own choices and we are all different. However, if they insist on telling you, one cant help but naturally form an impression, or draw conclusions from that. I remember in first my job as a teenager, a colleague of similar age (who I did find attractive, but didnt have feelings for) informed us she had slept with "50 guys" - I had not even kissed a girl at this stage and was left wondering if I even knew 50 people, let alone people I had slept with!

Going to a male strip show - think it was a hen night, but the context it irrelevant, this a total, immediate and permanent loss of all respect. I have no respect whatsoever for women who attend such things.

Getting into a fight - bad enough for men, even worse optics for a woman, especially (as in this case) if she was the aggressor.

Gosh !

My view is it's worse for men to initiate violence (in general) because an average man is usually capable of inflicting far more damage than an average woman. I've seen people paralysed by a single punch from a man.

I'd be interested to know why it's 'worse' for a woman.

A man bought me a cactus 🌵 Proudly handed it over to me in the first few moments of the date

When we were going to play bowling, dinner and then nightclubbing 🤔

Then proceeded to have conversations with it at every venue….. “Oh Bill (no idea why) are you having a good time” “Oh Bill are you enjoying your dinner” and finally ‘Oh Bill there’s no one in here as good looking as me or as good as dancer as me is there?”

I left the club without him or “Bill”

wtf

It's like those ladies sweaters with a fake shirt underneath c.2003

ha… okay then 🎣

Wore a collarless Smurf blue leather jacket… eurgh. Lovely bloke but nope not for me!

Fashion Police? It's an emergency. Get him or me out of here!!

But if you went to work and a colleague said 'Ive shagged dozens of women and I love good strip show/lap dance then maybe a fight to end the night' what would you do/say? Bit extreme those examples but they are a common theme on MN as some people have lived with or married men like that

He ate a pie. His lips were greasy. I kept thinking “please don’t try to kiss me” in the cinema and I spent most of the movie leaning forward as if totally engrossed.

Yeah, I think you've missed the boat here fella.

Clingons 😭

why do so many of these men that have been given the Spanish have such an issue with turds. I don't understand! So many men going around looking like they're balancing a malteaser on their arse crack.

rinse your walnuts men for the love of god!

I told an ex that I found a trimmed man's bush attractive. He decided to give himself a barbering, took it too far so he had no hair at all and his dick looked like Gonzo. I couldn't get the image out of my head, him standing there bald as the day he was born with the Gonzo snoz jutting out. Huge ick and relationship done