AIBU to ask you for the funniest reasons you've lost interest in someone?

[BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust]

I did one of these threads under a different username a couple of years ago with hundreds and hundreds of replies and it genuinely brought me to tears. I can't find it to read back on.

I'm recovering from surgery and laying horizontal and was hoping some of you could revive your funny / cringy experiences to brighten my day.

After a long marriage, I have spent the last 3 years being superbly single and here are some that I have been through, which immediately gave me the 'ick.'

• I was taken on a lovely date in London. Really hit it off well. He drove me home (rooky error) and proceeded to indicate around every bend and curve in the road. I got home, thanked him for his time and blocked him.

• next one was a guy I was seeing for a few months. He told me 6 days in 'I generally really love you.' And would type Mabye instead of maybe. I just couldn't get over it.

• getting jiggy with someone. I proceeded to use my hand to help me along. After the deed was done and I (finally) got there, he proceeded to well up with actual tears and told me I shouldn't need to do that, and to give him constructive feedback on his performance so I wouldn't need to do that in future. I didn't sleep with him again.

• Those fucking ridiculous ballerina socks men wear. This might be trivial but I just wait for any bloke wearing them to burst into a full pirouette. This was also the same guy as above.

• Another hinge guy would send 😂 after every message. What are you up to today? 😂
I'm just getting home from work 😂

I have so many more. Many many more. Please tell me your experiences to remind me why I need to stay single!

They're horrific!

and every time he would wear them in my lounge he would like hop-skip-jump around so delicately I couldn't deal with it. They look like 2006 new look Dolly shoes! Men aren't meant to whimsically skidaddle in delicate socks. Not at all. Ever.

I would have climbed out the bathroom window. And if the window was too small I would've folded myself like a damn pretzel to get out of that home without a minute to spare. I wonder if he retrieved the soiled towel? I hope it wasn't an Egyptian cotton number!

I do that 🤨🤨

Unfortunately she was on the top floor of a block of flats otherwise I think he would have taken that option. As it was a studio once the door opened the smell took over the whole tiny flat 😂😂😂

One guy, whilst in bed, couldn't get it up then proceeded to hit his own dick multiple times and swear at it.

Another guy, whilst on a date, drank one cider then threw up into his mouth. He just froze sat opposite me with his cheek puffed out like a hamster and I awkwardly said 'Have you been sick into your mouth?'. Followed by a slow nod.

It "later transpired"??

How on earth, having dumped this anally-retentive gentleman, did you subsequently find out about his ironing habits?

Also, I remember that poster.

I have so many.

One was desperately keen to see me, even though I lived in Cheshire and he lived in London. Bragged that he earned £50k a year working in IT and was a high powered Director - this was 25 years ago. Said he was planning a great day for us. I got on the train, arrived in London and he took me to … McDonalds followed by a trip to his office. I’ve never been so keen to get the train home.

Spent the night in a lovely Cornish hotel with a relatively new boyfriend. He woke up the following morning, jumped out of bed, went to the loo, leaving me to gaze at the ugly great skid-marks he’d left behind on the sheets.

One farted so loudly that it lifted the sheet and echoed round the room in stereo for about ten seconds.

I have posted this story before on Mumsnet. I met a guy and we had been out a few times. He was very pleasant but also a little bit obsessed with his appearance and very proud of his body which he had honed at the gym.

After a night out we went back to his place. We had both drunk a fair amount and it was probably time for the relationship to progress to sleeping together. After some kissing he guided me to the bedroom. I started to undress and so did he, but he was doing it like a performance and in particular he turned round to slip down his trousers and his boxers (I guess waiting for the big reveal)....

However on slipping his boxer shorts down it revealed a long hanging bit of toilet paper from a clearly recent visit before we had left the restaurant. I felt the need to mention this. He pulled his boxers up and left into the bathroom.

I am a bit of a hygiene freak, so I dressed, made my excuses and left. I did see him after this, but I do not think this budding relationship ever recovered.

Of all the posts this is the one that cracked me up…such a random thing to get the ick over 😂

The poses here are queasy making. https://weard.com/en-no/products/best-socks-ever-no-show-9-pack-black?variant=44724071792905

He sounded like the crazy frog when he came

Pink and yellow nylon tartan y-fronts. I kid you not.

Really bizarre criteria for judging a partner.

Surely the most important thing for a person is that he isn't a tough guy or a thug, that he doesn't drink or gamble, that he's thoughtful and compassionate, and that he listens more than he speaks.

What’s wrong with cans of food?

Me too! I wish I’d thought of it as a username 🤣

he didn’t end things because EveningSpread disliked his music!
this was a mean comment

Ah man this has me chortling loudly

Nooooooo???? Whaaaaaaat 😂😂😂😂😂 I would run so fast 🏃🏻‍♀️

I have proper LOLed at Pencil Runner and crazy frog man 🤣

Licked his knife.

Not so much cringy but more fucking weird. On the first date he told me that he’d brought me coach tickets to go with him to meet his parents that weekend. There wasn’t a second date but he kept turning up at my work (shop at the time) as if I’d never told him I wasn’t interested. He would ask what we were doing that evening. He really struggled to get the hint. In the end I got a male friend to come in and pretend to be my new boyfriend. Fortunately this worked. I had a lucky escape because I later found out that he had followed a woman back to her accommodation at a holiday camp and let himself in. Apparently her husband returned and found him sat on the toilet talking to her while she was in the bath! 😬

I dont get why no-socks look is a thing if you need socks. Just wear socks if your feet are sweaty? Mine are, I wear socks but I refuse to wear those short ugly things - and they also ride down and half come off, fucking horrible.

Also, if you hate sweaty feet use some foot powder or Scholl spray. Do not succumb to the devil.

If you can afford expensive shoes either invest in good anti sweat spray of have some Botox. These socks are not the answer.

If I have Botox in my feet, the shoes won't fit 🤔

Oooh right, my DH wears those and I thought it was quite normal for blokes to wear them 😂 I was picturing a pink frilly sock from the OP!!