To be a bit miffed at my friend’s idea of a ‘takeaway night’ tomorrow

[Teriyt]

My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

This reminds me of a famous thread on here where the OP’s husband had promised to drive her to Burger King, but then presented her with a bacon and egg sandwich and a delighted “da-da!”, as if he was giving her a really lovely treat.

In the same way some posters here are saying “But the food doesn’t matter!” and “But an M&S or Waitrose Indian meal could be lovely!”, posters were saying how a homemade bacon and egg sandwich would be much nicer than a heavy, greasy Burger King, and suggested the OP was terribly ungrateful that her husband had done this lovely thing. They were all ignoring the fact that a) it wasn’t what OP wanted, b) he’d agreed to take her to BK and c) he presented it as a fait accompli.

That isn’t nice - and neither is agreeing to get takeaway and then telling people how much they owe for the ready meal they never wanted.

Aww on your side until I read this comment, proper mean girl vibes!
No Asda curry wouldn’t be my choice but laughing at your supposed friend behind her back is shi66y

Yeah, it’s a bit naff isn’t it? She probably hasn’t stopped to think that people might prefer a proper takeaway. Awkward to say anything without sounding ungrateful though! Could you just bring your own and just say you particularly fancied the restaurant’s version instead?

Because of this thread, DH and I are now going out for a curry tomorrow night!

Just go along with it, but when it's your turn to do the takeaway night, you can do it right, with real Indian takeaways.

My friend does this all the time and it pisses me off. All of the people saying 'maybe she is skint' are missing the point. It's a. don't decide for everyone and then make the decision without checking and b. Say that you are getting a takeaway and get people's hopes up and then bait and switch once people are coming to your house.

My friend says that she will order us a takeaway (splitting obviously) and then last minute say that she's getting a supermarket pizza for us to share instead.

Bait and switch and deciding for the group. It's doesn't become ok just 'because she's skint'. It's the lack of respect, planning and deciding for everyone.

I still go round but I'm always a bit disappointed and miffed that I am not getting a takeaway. I live alone so hardly ever get a takeaway. Indian and Chinese don't really work if you live alone.

I couldn't think of anything worse than a supermarket indian takeaway 😑 I would rather go without.
Glad you got it sorted OP.

I hear you on its annoying when people do this, but I'm curious as to why you say Indian or Chinese takeaways don't really work if you live alone?
Don't know if I'm missing something obvious but I'm not sure why you couldn't get yourself a Chinese/Indian if you fancied one some day!

Yep, and did you get to the bit where they've got a separate group chat where they've all been "howling' over her? They all sound delightful. not

Edited to say just seen, yes you have - the full quote didn't load at first.

Exactly. Besides, if it's so cheap just pay for your portion and bring something else to share. Or don't go 🤷🏻‍♀️ go eat out at the most amazing restaurant in town instead which is clearly all they're focusing on

God this happened to me one New Year's Eve. Was persuaded by an ex-partner to spend the evening having a takeaway curry with his well-off but notoriously tight friend (think dodging his round in pubs, that sort of thing) and his wife. The only redeeming feature to spending NYE with these people was looking forward to a fresh, puffy peshwari naan and paneer curry. Not amused when we arrived and his wife said they'd been to Asda instead and got microwave curries and rice, probably reduced just before the store closed! And yes, I think we were asked to chip in!!

I don’t get the impression you like this lady the way you talk about her “scoffed” her ready meal and laughing at her. I feel a bit sorry for her.

This. I'd be getting a takeaway.

Your “ friend “ , the person you were howling about behind her back on a separate chat ? I hope she has some real friends

Lots of people have a variety of chats, maybe to talk about an event when she wasn't going?

But they’d discussed and were looking forward to a specific takeaway.

I’d be disappointed but I don’t think I’d make a fuss about it in case the friend is really skint and couldn’t stretch to her share of the takeaway. (Although, in that case, really the friend ought to have said.)

If OP can afford it she could just say, “I really fancy a butter chicken and naan from x, so I’ll order that in if that’s ok - happy to still chip in my share of the Sainsbury’s order” or whatever. That way she gets what she fancies (albeit annoyingly chipping in a bit extra), and it might prompt an explanation.

While I think you are totally correct about the 'authenticity' of most takeaways in Britain versus supermarkets, the issue from the OP wasn't about which was more authentic, but about which she preferred.

There are wholly authentic South Asian restaurants in this country (e.g. the one I mentioned upthread) and some that are a hybrid - they offer authentic regional cuisine alongside the crowd-pleasing Vindaloo, Tikka Masala etc - we don't know what the OP's restaurant does but we do know it's one she knows and likes.

Bradford is a great place to go if you want authentic South Asian cuisine but even there you have plenty of 'crowd pleaser' places, you need a recommendation from a local if you want the real deal.

I’ve seen OP’s update and glad it ended well. But now I really fancy a takeaway!

I don’t like the separate WhatsApp … it’s like a group of teen girls.

I was once having dinner with a group .. wouldn’t call them friends really, they were mums from a sport our kids attended.

One of them created a separate WhatsApp group at the table to slag off one of the women 😳

Yes it’s annoying but unless she has form for this sort of thing, let it go.

Glad you got there in the end OP. @MyballsareSandy2015 that was awful!

We have separate WhatsApp groups within our family.
not dad
just kids and mum
just the youngest kid to be at home and parents

you know

If you are that bothered then dont go. I think the supermarket ones are quite good.

Its not the fact the chat existed. It was how it was being used.