To be a bit miffed at my friend’s idea of a ‘takeaway night’ tomorrow

[Teriyt]

My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

So you honestly believe that when you laugh along with comedians making fun of politicians and public figures, that its okay as those politicians and public figures are in the audience.

Cos I've got news for you....

Again, they are not doing it in a nasty secretive way are they? If they laugh at a famous figure, its being done publicly.

This is very different to the op and her friends ' howling' at their friend behind her back. A friend who may well have just made a clumsy mistake.

Like I said, I will leave you to your singular definition of bullying and backstabbing.

You sound like a bit of a mean friend tbh.

Quite a few people on here agree that it isnt pleasant but you obviously feel it is ok so I will leave you to it

My friend has replied to say she will have the ready meal as planned but is happy for us to get a takeaway in. So we will do that.

Yeah 2 400g Asda chicken tikka masala and 2 pilau rice works out as a bog standard 400g ready meal each, that's not filling at all.

I for one would want egg fried rice not plain, and i don't do ready meals with meat in as they're so low quality and i often end up biting in to a bit with a texture that immediately makes me feel ill.
I don't even get meat in my curry from my take away any more because its pre cooked meat thrown in to the fresh made sauce and can have an off putting texture.

If your friend is happy to eat what she's bought happy days, she can make one "portion for 2" of each and have a "feast" with a second lot for another days meal!

Well done OP. Sensible outcome.

Thank goodness that your friend has more maturity that some on this thread.

I don't think it's falling out if you just say ok no worries I'll just get my own curry. She makes choices and so do I! Doesn't mean I'll be falling out or talking about her or any other of the suggestions in here. Love the update!

Indeed, and as unlike the majority of Mumsnetters, she has a sense of humour, I’m sure we will all have a good laugh about it tonight.

She’s probably relieved - she hadn’t bought enough food for four people anyway. This way she doesn’t have to spend money on a take away and everyone is happy…unless she starts reaching for the samosas that you order in!

Wewillmeetagainoneday But it sounds like the friend has chosen the curries herself for everyone.
Surely adults should choose what meal they want themselves.
That is what would annoy me.

Don't share the takeaway with your friend. Let her enjoy her ready meal.

I would be annoyed too and tell her.

Just say “oh I will pass on that. Not a fan of supermarket ready meals You can keep it and I will just order a takeaway when I arrive.”

I’m with you OP. I’d be absolutely gutted at this. Our local Indian is delicious and no ready meal can compare with it. I also think it’s odd to choose the food for several people and then just expect them to pay for it. Glad you managed to sort it out with your friend though.

Reading between the lines - is it possilble that money is actually an issue this month for her? It seems odd to press on with a microwave meal while your friends order in in your home and - although I agree that as you’d all arranged for a curry night in that it was a but shitty to change that without asking - I do wonder whether you are all missing the subtext here? Has she just had a new boiler, been told that redundancies are on the horizon, booked her annual holiday?

Before I went ahead with the takeaway, whilst she eats pap, I would actually take time in person to check everything is actually okay?

is she maybe on a GLP1? A proper curry would maybe be too much but a ready meal version probably would be do-able.
I made the mistake of having a proper curry and was nauseous for 2 days after

If was, that would be her issue, no one else’s.

She should have discussed it with you all first. If you are all close enough to have regular get togethers, if it’s a money issue she could’ve told one of you and I’m sure a compromise could’ve been reached.

But YABVU, because now I really fancy a curry for my tea tonight, and I may have to have one. 😂

OP I think you may have pushed up curry sales tonight!

Please order a chicken bhuna, lamb bhuna, prawn bhuna, mushroom rice, bagga chips, keema naan and 9 poppadoms. Make sure to go full Smithy on her if she glances at your lamb bhuna.

It is unusual behaviour to make a decision like that for the group unless you're paying for it all! Sounds like she took it well anyway so all good.

You talked about her ‘hosting’ like it was some kind of big deal, but most people surely have friends that pop around regularly - having a few friends over who I didn’t have to cook for wouldn’t even register. Plus they take it in turns to host anyway. Everyone can help to wash up, and I’m not sure ‘using the toilet’ is even worth mentioning

It’s absolutely minimal effort, and doesn’t absolve her of spending her friends’ money in a way that they haven’t agreed. If she was providing the food without expecting payment, it would be very different of course.

And a Jamdani Hash. Lush.