To be a bit miffed at my friend’s idea of a ‘takeaway night’ tomorrow

[Teriyt]

My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

I hate tikka masala so I’d have said that. If I’m getting a curry I want something really hot like a chicken tikka madras. Nothing else could cut it.

Your still hosting whether or not people pay for their food. There will be drinks, some washing up,using the toilet .
The only way your not hosting is if you go out to eat.

Using the toilet 🤣 shall we start checking our water metres and charging per flush?

I’d be devastated - first world problem but when you think all week you are having a proper Indian, some supermarket ready meals just won’t cut it I’m sorry. I feel a migraine or sudden dose of flu incoming!

I have a coin operated loo specifically for guests.

(I say loo, it's a composting long-drop at the bottom of the garden).

Oooh, interesting! Do you mind me asking whether you have separate coin meters for toilet paper, soap etc. or do you factor that into the per use cost with your main meter?

Exactly. So many people are walking straight past the bit where they even went so far as to specify which takeaway they were going to order from, but the friend said nothing. As usual it will be being done deliberately in order to paint the OP as being in the wrong. And as for all the living saints saying 'Oh it wouldn't bother me in the slightest that my friend unilaterally decided that we weren't going to do something I was really looking forward to, I'd be happy with dry toast, time with my friends is all that matters' - cobblers.

Oh, so your using a existing group to bitch and laugh about this woman behind her back?

Well that's fine then 🙄

Who are you people? Get over yourself.

The group made a decision about where to eat. This friend unilaterally decided to ride over that and decide for herself what everyone is eating, bought it and then informed them that they would have to pay her back.

She has been monumentally rude and a cheeky fucker.

All the friends are doing is not allowing themselves to be doormats. If that upsets the friend, then that's on her really. She really deserves zero sympathy. Talk about bringing it on herself.

Don't they wear out the lawn/paving slabs a bit on the way to/from that though? I let my guests go in our indoor bathroom but they have to bring (and take) their own bucket.

No shop bought "takeaway" tastes the same. It's something I would really struggle with as I cannot stand them and I would have politely declined and ordered myself the food anyway. I wouldn't force mys of to eat something I didn't like, especially when a specific restaurant was mentioned.

I planted soapwort & dock around it - it shouldn't take a genius to work out which one is for which.

She got it wrong and they absolutely can tell her that, and insist they stick to the original plan. That's not the same as bitching and laughing behind her back

Oh, so your using an existing group to bitch and laugh about this woman behind her back?

To be fair, if I pulled that shit, I would expect to be bitched about and laughed at behind my back (and to my face frankly). Therefore, I don’t pull this shit. It’s something you learn right from the schoolyard, if you are a CF’er then that’s what people will do. It’s one of the social training tools, combined with others, that assists in teaching kids from the get go using cause and effect.

Yeah I agree with this tbh - we had it with a friend once. Got all salty because we had been discussing his highly questionable life decisions (that he knew were highly questionable!). If you don’t want people talking about you, don’t do things worth talking about!

I wouldn’t be happy as I would want to choose my own meal and microwave curry from Asda is not very good. Also if was hosting and cooking the food myself (be it homemade or shop bought) i would pay for it.
Hope u get it sorted op. Let us know. How it works out .

I have guest wellies with soft soles that do not cause too much attrition.

They pair with the guest slippers - because - shoes - obviously.

I will always stand up to bullying behaviour.

I wasn't condoning what the friend did but there is a possibility she made a mistake and simply got it wrong.

All it takes is an adult conversation or message in the group everyone is in " Sorry X. I thought we all agreed to a takeaway. Lets stick with that this time" rather than the backstabbing behaviour op and her friends have engaged in.

Not even close to the same quality, i'd be a bit confused too. Hard on cash at the moment?

The friend's monumental rudeness and cheeky fuckery caused an awkward situation for the group. Of course they are going to talk together about how to handle that. And if you are a dick to your friends, you should expect them to laugh at you for being a dick. Its quite a human way to handle someone acting in a clearly piss taking manner.

Its on the friend to handle it with good grace and laugh and say, ;'yeah that was a bit out of order of me! Lol. Sorry - I'll eat the fakeaway whilst you guys order the takeaway.'

I would have much preferred a takeaway, like you, OP, but you and your friends sound really nasty.

I think this is actually pretty gauche of her! People like to select their own curries and accompaniments, and a takeaway is completely different from a supermarket meal deal. She shouldn’t have assumed.

I wouldn’t fall out over it, but I would say “next time I’d prefer it if we ordered in, so I can choose what I’d like “.

Yes, they did have an adult conversation with her.

Bullying and backstabbing? Jesus. I refer you back to my ' get over yourself comment.'. Just quit the hyperbole and drama. That has not happened. No-one has bullied. No-one has backstabbed. They have politely communicated that they will continue with the original plan.
They had a bit of a laugh about their friend acting oddly and rudely. That's entirely normal.

Its the friend who needs to step up to take responsibility for this situation here. Not OP et al.

Well if she can't afford a supermarket take away, don't agree to a takeaway from a take away shop or just don't have a get together until you can afford it.

How out of proportion. You aren't a 'dick' human being because you buy meals to host round your house that's not exactly to their taste.