To be a bit miffed at my friend’s idea of a ‘takeaway night’ tomorrow

[Teriyt]

My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

No way. Tell her to put your supermarket curry in the freezer and you’ll order in your own.

Comes up on mumsnet all the time. I think people generally fall into two camps:

• those for whom the food is an integral part of the social occasion and to have bad food kills the vibe and prevents the feeling of conviviality you would get with a decent spread. These are usually “hosts” and people who care very much about food and eating well
• those for whom food is a functional part of getting together because the event happens to be occurring over a meal time - these are generally non-foodie people, fussy eaters or people who don’t enjoy hosting

I’m in camp one. Ne’er the Twain shall meet!

I do have to say the fact that they are Asda does make it fundamentally worse! I can tell you exactly what these will taste like. I’d maybe forgive a cook or Charlie Binghams

All supermarket take aways are shite, including M&S. I would be honest and say you don't want to eat that. I'd rather eat cardboard.

In fairness, I have had the occasional takeaway curry that's been awful. These places that do multiple items on the menu - pizzas, burgers, kebabs - as well as curry, can be bad.

But in this case OP has clearly said they are using a trusted takeaway they like, so supermarket offerings are never going to come near.

The only way you can get a takeaway/restaurant style curry without buying it from a takeaway is to make it yourself, but if you're going to do that properly you need lots of different spices and ingredients and good quality meat, so it doesn't work out any cheaper for a single meal.

I tried a Charlie Bigham's curry and I wasn't impressed, it was bland.

Also is she now having to put them all in the oven? I don’t know how many she bought but that can be a bit of a faff with timings etc. Yes it’s not that important but I would have felt a bit put out as well, Indian takeaway hits the spot in a way supermarket versions don’t. The only one I’ve ever had that tastes like it’s come from an Indian restaurant is Cook. Supermarket naan is never good.

OK then, it’s the equivalent of friends saying “Let’s go and watch Arsenal” and everyone agreeing. Then one friend says “Actually I’ve got us tickets to go and watch Barnet FC. You all owe me £20.”

I mean, it’s still a football match in north London, right? However, it isn’t what you signed up for and probably not what you’d choose.

No disrespect to either team BTW, I was going to use Man Utd but given how they’re playing lately…

You are 'howling in a separate chat'. How bloody nasty and mean of you. How would you feel if your friends had a separate chat to laugh about you?

Even if you cook it yourself it won't be like a takeaway. I use lots of different spices and cook a delcious curry but it's different to a takeaway.

I didn’t really like Charlie Bigham’s, but Cook I give 10/10, they’re Korma, Masala and Butter chicken are top notch.

The problem is she has bought it now.

It was overly proactive of her to just push on and get it without checking if something else had been agreed, but for me it wouldn't be worth the bad blood.

FWIW I'd rather the M and S stuff, so you don't know for sure what the others will feel.

ETA Oh I've just caught your update. Mean of you to have a separate chat laughing at her *is you curry really such a big deal to you) but I agree, they look quite inexpensive and not very nice and I'm wondering if she was going to offer to refund the excess.

Yes, that’s bloody nasty!😕

Cook do some great stuff.

I quite like their Veg Lasagne too. And all their desserts.

Naaaah. Come on. Friend is BU because who changes the plan without really discussing it first.

Yeah, I'd be upset I wasn't getting my Indian takeaway I was looking forward to, but OP and her mates are bloody nasty.
Sound like they're all still in the playground. The host friend is better off without them, they're not her friends.

I always think how would this friend feel if they knew what we said in another chat? Well in this case if I were the friend I wouldn’t really care if I pulled a daft stunt like this and somehow found out my friends were laughing about it 🤣

It’s really not that deep lol it was clearly a silly mistake , maybe spur of the moment while food shopping.

I’d just be glad that my friends brought it to my attention rather than force down a meal they didn’t want.

It’s unbelievable that some people think that’s what OP and the others should do even though they’re being made to pay for it 🤦🏽‍♀️

OP, what was the host friends response when you’ve said you will just be ordering a takeaway as planned?

That reminds me of a friend who at the last minute moved a group evening restaurant booking forward two hours - to 5pm - so we could order off the 'early bird' menu.

The 'early bird' menu was cheap but only gave a choice of three (boring) things. I ordered from the full menu as originally planned. We always paid for own food rather than splitting the bill so this didn't affect anyone else's costs (and incidentally we all worked at the same place doing the same job for the same wage) but it turned out the 'early bird' portions were really tiny, like half a normal sized lasagne etc. I got some envious looks as I tucked into a generously sized steak!

The way you've dealt with it is baffling and really nasty.

It's a straight forward aww, friend we were looking forward to a takeaway, can we stick with the plan? Not all this bitching and sniping behind her back.

But, you already had a chat that excluded her, so I guess this is a common thing in your "friendship" group.

I hope she sees this thread and finds better friends.

Why would she just buy food like that without discussing it?

I had a friend like that and she was a nightmare for bulldozing us all and ruined our lovely group of friends.

A slightly below average Indian takeaway is better than a good supermarket curry

I really dislike people making spending decisions for me without checking first.
Same with eating decisions. Its taking the 'treat' nature of the occasion away.

This exactly. I would definitely be disappointed a I love an indian takeaway but I would be so hurt as the host friend. Its just so mean girls and unnecessary. Yes host friend didnt read the room but what the op and her mates are doing is far far worse.

Did she even check that you all like chicken tikka masala? Its the last thing I'd order tbh.

The correct response to this nonsense is obviously - 'LOL'