To be a bit miffed at my friend’s idea of a ‘takeaway night’ tomorrow

[Teriyt]

My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

I would too, so much so that I wouldn’t stand for it! Indian takeaways are SACRED, fgs! How does she not know that! If someone tried to replace my takeaway with an Asda ready meal, they’d better have their first-aid kit ready, because this is an offence where it would be totally understandable to just go primal and bite the offender! Any sane judge would agree!

Hear hear to this. You could have just brought or ordered some extra bits instead of not only bitching in your already formed separate chat group but also coming on to a public forum with a very detailed and specific scenario

“Sorry lovely, I’m absolutely craving the beef madras with all the trimmings from the takeaway, so I’ll stick with that plan. Shout if anyone else wants anything ordering from there”

I’d argue the friend doesn’t know how to nurture friendships either making unilateral decisions with other people’s money.

And she’s having them at her house but I’d hardly call it hosting, she’s not providing the food as she wants paying for it, and it will be BYOB too.

It’s not the crime of the century but it is a bit thoughtless. Personally I find supermarket ready meals (yes, even m and s) pretty much inedible and would never buy them out of choice.

I've voted YANBU as I'd be gutted too if I was looking forward to a proper Indian takeaway and then it last minute changed to supermarket ready meal stuff (even though they're great too - it's not the same!)
She should have checked with everyone that it was alright.
Although I'm kind of on the fence because what if she was skint? I know how that can be too, it's horrible and maybe she didn't feel she could fork out on an expensive takeaway but still wanted to see you and her other friends.

Depends on how often you meet up? If it’s two three times a month, or more, I’d have let this slide disappointing as it may be and at the catchup, just said something along the lines of not wanting this setup again and to get a proper takeaway next catchup.

If it is meeting infrequently, it makes more sense to be annoyed by the change of plans when they were already agreed upon.

It would be a one-off ‘letting it slide’ for me but I would definitely mention it at the catchup so it doesn’t happen again. I probably wouldn’t not have messaged the other person separately and laughed about it. But that’s only because I’ve been the brunt of these sorts of things and it’s not nice when you find out there are discussions behind your back (hopefully your friend doesn’t find out).

This may be a first world problem but I'd be genuinely gutted if promised a takeaway and delivered a ready meal!

I would try to be jokey but say I'm ordering anyway. Maybe ask if she is doing okay with money.

☝🏻

"No problem at all. But I love the vindaloo with a pilau rice from the Taj Mahal so I'll still order mine from there. See you tomorrow!"

First world problem but so relatable 🤣 Some people aren’t bothered by food (can’t related). Years ago I was on a holiday with friends and we were quite divided along lines of those of us who love food and like to indulge on holiday and couple of women who are like birds. Stupidly one night we let the bird women go out and bring back dinner and they told us they had ordered a “fuck ton” of food. The disappointment when they unpacked it and there was maybe enough for 1/3 of a portion each (think 3 main courses stretched between 12 people). Do not fuck with my food 😅

Yeah that’s the thing that would wind me up 🤣 ready meals often trigger IBS type problems in me and they’re not nice enough to justify the discomfort I suffer so it’d be a no from me!

Even with takeaways I’m very picky and tend to order from the same ones that feel like they use good fresh ingredients and have 5 star rated hygiene and taste bloody nice, so even if my stomach is a bit wobbly afterwards I can say it was worth it 😆

In this situation I’d likely eat before and just go for the company and let her know in advance I wouldn’t be eating it. And I’d politely let her know why. It should not be friendship ending at all.

If I missed the mark while hosting I’d be happy for friends to let me know rather than silently simmer. Maybe she’ll be more considerate next time.

For those saying surely meeting the friends is the main thing, yes - but eating crappy food taints that for me . I am happy to not eat food and see friends but not happy to put something inside of me that I won’t enjoy and might give me digestive issues - especially when I’ve been roped into paying for it .

Not nice to be bitching to the other friend behind her back OP and then going to her house. Either tell her straight up you are upset at the change of plan or suck it up. You sound immature.

Opps i missed the last couple of updates. I see you’re going to speak up. Well done. And btw I find those Asda takeaways especially rank! I was expecting M&S or Waitrose at least.

It has nothing to do with her being hard up because she could’ve told friends she was getting a small ready meal for herself as she didn’t fancy a takeaway and did anyone want her to get one for then too?

honestly I’ve been skint before many times but you don’t go making decisions for people like that when they’re paying for it too.

NBU at all. I wouldn't want ready meals for a catch up. That's something I'd take for lunch to work. I think I would speak up.

Nope I don’t eat supermarket takeaways, really wouldn’t appeal to me. I’d just order my own when I arrive

Obviously she meant £20 each!?

Not quite a take away, is it? 😄 Good on you for telling her you want to stick to the original plan.

I can't believe how rude these replies are! I'm glad they aren't guests in my house!

I saw the thread title and the first thing I thought was "hoose rice" 😆

I love a takeaway curry so would be very disappointed

Has anyone asked her to explain her reason why she unilaterally changed the plan?
Some people must rate supermarkets ready meals as a cheaper alternative as supermarkets wouldn't sell them if no one likes them.

If she simply misjudged the importance of the original agreed chosen takeaway I think you all just need to tell her politely that Asda ready meals are not ( in each of your own opinions) made to the same standard at all) and could she please freeze and save what ever ready meals she bought for other people to eat for her own use later, and let the rest of you order what you want.

Or you just politely go along with it have a nice time meeting up, and accept the food isn't going to be want you all thought it would be

Maybe she couldn’t afford a proper take away ? Don’t fret over it

YANBU. It's not really about the money, it's that a takeaway night is an event, isn't it? Half the fun is the shared faff of everyone picking what they want and the naans arriving still warm and puffy. A supermarket ready meal zapped in the microwave just isn't the same thing. I'd just say to her that you were really looking forward to the takeaway you all picked and offer to sort the ordering yourself so she doesn't have the faff. Enjoy your night!

the bitching and post on MN is way worse than getting a ready meal in

Yeah, I wouldn’t eat that. Your friend is rude to just change the plans like that and expect you to eat that slop.