Friend left before paying her round.

[Sophiehoney]

Hi everyone,
I need a sanity check on a situation from my local tonight, as DH and I are completely disagreeing on this.
We were out at the pub with a large group of 9 people. We were drinking in rounds. 7 people had bought a round, and it was down to either this one woman, let's call her Sarah, or one other person next.
Suddenly, Sarah announced she had to leave immediately because her babysitter had an issue and needed to go. She said a quick goodbye to everyone and dashed out. However, she didn’t mention the rounds at all, didn't offer to leave any cash, and didn't mention sending a bank transfer to cover her share. She had consumed several free drinks at this point.
After she left, the rest of the group talked about it and everyone agreed it was incredibly rude to "ghost" the round like that, especially when she’d benefited from 7 other people paying.
When DH and I got home, he said the group was being far too harsh on her because it was a childcare emergency and her mind was probably all over the place. I disagree, I think even in a rush, you could text the group chat from the taxi to offer to send money or even just acknowledge it in some way before you leave by saying you will sort it next time. Leaving the remaining people to cover the deficit feels out of order.
So, AIBU? Was she a CF, or should she get a free pass because of the babysitter emergency?

Crikey, I'd spend most of the night in the toilets if I had 9 drinks of anything, whether it was spritzers, weak lager or lime and soda. That's one way to get out of standing my round. You and your pals must have bladders of steel.
Assuming I'd been drinking alcohol, and in a pub, I probably would have done, I can't imagine even noticing someone failing to get their round in unless they already had form for being shy to the bar. Those types are never ever first to take their turn.

Next time put in twenty pounds each in until it is gone.
Rushing home to an babysitter emergency after seven drinks is ridiculous, luckily she didn’t have nine before the sitter called. 😳

This is why I love places that offer mobile ordering! No one needs to do rounds as you can all order separately without leaving your seat and the bartender can still deliver them all in one go.
Yes, she was cheeky, but unless this is something that happens regularly with her, maybe it was a genuine emergency and she just didn't think. I'd probably give her the benefit of the doubt for a one off. Or maybe she is really struggling for money and felt embarrassed to say, although in that case she should have either stayed in or excused herself from the rounds and bought her own drinks.

There’s a guy in the village I live in we refer to as crimes.. because crime doesn’t pay. He will magically disappear when it’s time for him to buy a round. We don’t even entertain him anymore.

Why didn't each team have their own round. Waiting for 8 people to match my drinking speed would be very irritating 😹

Looks like @Sophiehoney has left without answering any questions

9 seems a lot of people to be in a round with especially as it bothers you if all 9 dont get a round every time. I can't imagine having 9 drinks in one evening - its a volume thing rather than being drunk - as I drink soft drinks anyway.

With my friends anyone who didn't get a round will make sure they are first next time and its not a problem.

A kitty is one way of dealing with this, or on work nights out we used to organise ourselves into smaller rounds.

I love the idea that a group of people having nine drinks in an evening are having halves 😆

This is what I was thinking - they all seem to be more concerned about money than whether their friend and her kids were ok.
Not much of a friendship group if you begrudge buying a friend a drink

@Sophiehoney
When she said an "emergency with the childminder" had cropped up suddenly
Did anyone actually hear her phone go off and any reaction as she looked at the screen??
I somehow seriously doubt it
She's a right utter urine extractor so
The next time you all go out
She don't get invited and dont be embarrassed about her finding out
Because with her brass neck she'd never be.

Absolutely CF.

Correct etiquette is to get a round in for everyone on the way out.

If it is a one off I would give a pass, but I would expect her to realise that it’s her round first next time.

I don’t think I would do rounds in 9s though if I’m being honest, that’s a lot of people, when I went out in groups like that you’d find people doing rounds in like a 4 and a 5 with the people who arrived at approximately the same time as them. Too chaotic otherwise

NINE rounds! That's never going to work. Not everyone will make it that far!

OP said they were halves though.

You are quite correct ☺️.
Plus, please see my update at 13.42 🙏🏼

If our gang kept track of rounds like that we would never have any friends. Some outings we buy two rounds, someone else may buy two and someone else buys none because they were off chatting in the pub when it was time for another drink. It always works out that the next time they end up buying two rounds. It's never even. My DH says "it all comes out in the wash". Also, we have few friends with young children anymore, but they are given extra grace. When I was in uni we had a deal when we went to the pubs - you're never out of money until your friends are out of money! 😂

Lots to unpick here! Was she on water and the rest on £10 glasses of wine? Genuine emergency is possible? Maybe she didn’t want a 8th drink? Who would she have sent the money to, and how much? £30, £40, £50 to be divided by the 7 people who bought a round already? She should pay the next round first. Or have a kitty in future!

I hate doing rounds! I like cider which is £7 a pint. My friends like expensive wine at £15 a glass, so it costs me a lot more than them if we go out!! I need to switch to cocktails to get my moneys worth 😂

In the OP's reply, it seems this is a large group who go out drinking twice a week So...

Surely to goodness you know and care about each other's children? You know she has a babysitter that evening? You know this isn't normal behaviour? You know she will likely as not make up for it next time?

And, for all of you, more sensibly would be if the two pub quiz teams just have rounds within the team. Much easier to manage and you can always do two rounds.

Is this a regular monthly/weekly thing? If so, doesn’t the round situation just continue at the next meet-up? Ie, Sarah just says next time ‘right guys, I’m buying the first round as I missed mine last time…’

9 people is too many for rounds. Surely you're not having 9 drinks each every time you go out.

Presumably she'll get the first time next time.

For me this goes with the territory when drinking in rounds. If it's a small group of regular friends like 3 or 4, it usually evens out over the course of a few sessions.

If it's a small non regular group, it's probably not that big an amount.

If it's a big group like 9, then unless everyone drinks exactly 9 drinks at the same rate, it's going to create such a situation. So kitty works better than rounds. Or smaller sub groups do their own smaller rounds.

Though having said all of that, if I did end up in such a situation, I would normally leave money for the next round. Except I don't really carry cash any more so not as easy as it was once

Why are you telling this poster to calm down? She hasn't said anything that justifies you telling her to "calm down".

Right?! Not one peep out of OP to say she hopes her friend and friend’s kids are ok. Just fixated on the spritzer this woman owes her

If it's a first offense I'd just say it's her round first next time. But I think we've all known people that make a habit of it in which case it should always be their round first!