Does anyone else dislike splitting the bill?

[Savedbythebell36]

Unless you've had something very similar and the price difference is pennies.
I went out with a group of friends the other week, I don't drink alcohol and most of them do. I had a starter as a main course, and two diet cokes.
It came to £33 each when splitting, even though my starter was i think £8.99 and two cokes around £8 in total.

That included a tip, but that would've meant me leaving a £16 tip which sounds extreme. I wish I'd spoken up really, next time I will but you're labelled as 'tight' if you do that. I asked them to confirm again, and nobody said 'you've only had a starter/soft drinks whereas we had more.'

It does put me off going sometimes but I suppose if your friends call you tight/cheapskate then they aren't real friends? I'm on more of a budget too.

Just say at the beginning of the meal - im not splitting it. Your friends should respect your choice.
I have a friend who I go out for lunch with and we always pay separately.
Other friends I just split it.
Always always speak up.
You're not tight you just don't want to spend £33 on a starter and 2 cokes, tbf if I were eating out with you I wouldn't let you!

Seriously - if you can’t be grown up and discuss this beforehand then don’t go out with people

Your friends don't sound great if they call you names for wanting to pay fairly. When we go out we split food and then the people who had alcohol work out the extra between them. Next time just say its always the people who order 2 cocktails and a dessert and a coffee who want to split they must get a real bargain...

I’ve shared this story before on here. This was about 15 years ago (relevant so you can understand the extreme cost!).

I was out with work colleagues (so not close friends or relatives) on someone’s leaving do. I didn’t really want to go as I was quite broke at the time.

There were around 25 people there, and lots of very expensive food was ordered and lots of alcohol, cocktails, bottles of wine and on some tables champagne. I didn’t think much of this really…I hadn’t been on any work dos with this company before as I’d only been there a short while. My plan was to just eat, be polite, say something nice to the person leaving (I didn’t really know them) and head home after the meal. They were all going on to a club…not my thing. I’d already said I wouldn’t be doing this.

The bill was brought…I knew mine was £26 (I tried to find the cheapest options) so I got out £30 ready to give to the person collecting the money. However, she was using her phone to calculate what everyone owed…and announced ‘we’ all owed £147! I was absolutely gobsmacked!

Not a chance was I paying that much for one course and a Diet Coke! Which is all I’d had. I didn’t really care what they thought of me, I just said, I’ve only had £26 of food so I’m sorry, I simply can’t subsidise everyone else’s food and drink by another £120 on top.

As you’ve said OP, if it’s just a few pounds, ok, it isn’t really worth the hassle, but when it’s huge amounts of money, it’s very unfair!

I understand it can be hard. I usually just say I am just going to pay for what I had with a tip thanks and then offer the money. I started bringing cash to particular scenarios where I noticed it was happening a lot. I do it quickly and breezily and offer no excuses or reasons why.

Oh I don't know, it's pretty obvious if someone's ordered a starter as a mains, and only drinking coke. I reckon her friends knew what they were doing.

Which is why people need to speak up so they aren’t still resentful of it so many years later

I’ve got a friend like this. 6 of us went out, 4 of us didn’t drink apart from 2 soft drinks each, 1 just tap water and the other 4 vodka and cokes. Mine came to around £18 but I end up paying over £25. There’s always one piss taker

Which, as I said in my post, is exactly what I did do.

I wouldn’t call anyone a tight arse in your situation. I’m quite observant am the first to speak up even if someone’s had one less alcoholic drink than the rest of us.

Bad on your friends for letting you pay £33 for what you had.

Everyone I know would defo have said you put in £12 e.g and we will split the rest.

What happened there would put me off going out with them again.

X

I always say that if I'm with someone not drinking.

I will get a bottle of wine and always take that straight off the bill if no one is sharing with me.

X

This is what I do!! I’ll be like ’well me, XYZ all had a bottle of wine but H had a coke zero’… some people just aren’t very mindful :(

I wouldn't say it's quibbling but it's ok to get the calculator out to divide by 4.

X

Yeah I will be on the wine in a restaurant. If my friend is driving and is on coke I'm defo not going to allow that to be split 50/50.
X

Nice try 🤣

Yes keep it fair. We friends with one couple she doesnt drink. She happier to do cafes with me. You can see why. I say she got stung with drinks bills. It can get out of hand

So does nobody ever ask for separate tabs to be set up? Do you enjoy the drama of it all?

Last time I went out with friends we asked the waiter to keep the bills separate.

Even better are the pubs where you order from your table on the app - no hassle because you order and pay for your own

Yes, I knew someone like that.

The vast majority of restaurants we go to will not do this and have signs explicitly stating ‘No split bills’.

Then go to ones that will if you really can’t trust your companions to play reasonably

In my experience, the only one's who find it fair are the one's with highest bill as they get to eat and drink the most expensive stuff on the menu but a lot cheaper. Whereas I do not drink and don't like big meals or anything that is frozen. I won't pay for frozen food when eating out or I would stay home and eat fresh

There are times when splitting the bill is manifestly unfair, e,g when one person has had a pasta dish and a non alcoholic drink and others have had steak and several glasses of wine.

My advice is don’t go out to eat with other people as it’s clearly a stressful experience if you can’t even discuss and calculate everyone’s contribution.

The fact that grown adults are unable to deal with this kind of thing (and hold onto the resentment for many years) explains why there are so many friendship issues on here.

How do you know which food is frozen?