Does anyone else dislike splitting the bill?

[Savedbythebell36]

Unless you've had something very similar and the price difference is pennies.
I went out with a group of friends the other week, I don't drink alcohol and most of them do. I had a starter as a main course, and two diet cokes.
It came to £33 each when splitting, even though my starter was i think £8.99 and two cokes around £8 in total.

That included a tip, but that would've meant me leaving a £16 tip which sounds extreme. I wish I'd spoken up really, next time I will but you're labelled as 'tight' if you do that. I asked them to confirm again, and nobody said 'you've only had a starter/soft drinks whereas we had more.'

It does put me off going sometimes but I suppose if your friends call you tight/cheapskate then they aren't real friends? I'm on more of a budget too.

Waiter just went round asked what you had and swipeded it off the bill one ding with the card done move onto the next

This is what we tend to do. I have a couple of friends where they drive so I always pay more for the tip, Although we do a work thing every now and then where one colleague always faffs about so she goes last and then asks how much is left to pay, rather than just paying for what she ordered. You have to be very firm with her and make it very clear that you’re watching her pay for what she had or she treats everyone’s tips as a contribution towards her meal because she refuses to tip and doesn’t think anyone else should either. No morals around stealing from her colleagues though. Saucy fucker tried to pay £4 for three courses and a couple of soft drinks before I realised what she was up to.

I have never heard anyone call someone a cheapskate or similar for opting to pay for their meal separately. Not even behind their back. So maybe it’s the character of your friends, rather than the norm.

someone paying separately doesn’t increase everyone else’s bill whereas chipping in can, as you said, subsidise everyone else. So it’s actually them who are being cheap skates, freeloaders even. Tell them that.

My friend tells the waiter she wants to pay separately when she gives her order. The never mind if it’s only one person doing that and it avoids all the bill paying nonsense

I say something if I notice someone else is hard done to by the bill but I try to view it as I’m paying for the event rather than a per item price . But if I didn’t drink/ had significantly less than the others I would say something

and? i don't understand the problem.
Surely you counter with "surely you can afford to pay for for the food without my subsidy? or are you poor/a low earner?"

Well, that’s your choice, surely. You either choose the discomfort of discovering your friends aren’t very nice, or the discomfort of paying for far more than you consumed.

This.

I would hate to subsidise the meals and wine for people who think like this.

My advice to you is to take cash, including £10/£5 notes. That way you can give your exact share (plus servuce charge / tip) without waiting around for the waiter to charge your debit card.

I find it tiresome when the group is mixed and one person orders expensive things when the one who's ordered the cheapest item can't afford any more.

Those who are getting you to fund their food and drinks are the tightwads. Tot it up and before the bills gets split tell them your amount and have that ready.

Or ask the server to price your up separately when they take the order. Much easier that way.

Its a long time since I went on group nights out. However I would always announce in advance that I would be asking for a separate bill or just paying for myself. Then I would leave enough to cover my bill plus a share of the tip and exit smartly, leaving the rest to make whatever arrangements they chose. That was back in the good old days when everyone paid with cash.

Its the same with rounds of drinks where if you are on a diet or not drinking you can get badly ripped off. Just buy your own.

Don't go out with people who aren't your friends.

This isn’t a thing in Canada! You either pay for the whole bill or you get seperate cheques where each person pays for only what they had. The odd time you may get an appetizer split or something.

I’m a drinker and would never expect someone who didn’t have a drink to subsidize that!

Just tell the venue on arrival that you want a separate bill. And then join the table and tell your friends that what you've done on this occasion. Use an excuse that you may need to leave earlier if necessary , and do ask for your bill before the final bill is requested and then make sure leave before the final bill arrives .

Don't let the gaslighters/ manipulaters/ bullies put you off doing what is perfectly fair and reasonable split of bill based on what you ordered. Call them out for trying on the 'humiliation ' tactics.

I can’t believe this actually happens. In no universe is it reasonable expect someone who had the bare minimum to split the bill with people who ordered everything!

That's on them , not you . It wouldn't bother me being seen as a cheapskate. Why should you be paying for them to eat / drink ? .

So? Who cares what they call you. If they are that petty then they aren’t real friends. Stand your ground op.

I'd never go out for a meal with a person who would calculate what each person owes. That's not adult behaviour in my opinion.

Wow! What a CF she is.

How did she respond when you outed her?!

I’ve learnt the lesson that I’d rather just pay for what I’ve had, unless it’s been kind of equal. People massively take the piss.

People are so dramatic. I have never had this issue as modern tills are capable of running however many bills from the same table.

I think saying at the outset you'll be paying for your own meal, rather than saying this when the bill comes along, is less likely to get you labelled as 'tight'.

At that point in theory you don't know what the split would be, they could all end up having a starter and some tap water 😄

And why would you have a meal with people who you don’t know well enough to actually speak to?

Could you suggest a venue that has a menu app.. and just put your own order and tip on that but send it to your joint table? We've done that in Gastro pubs because people get fed up of doing rounds sometimes and its an easy way to split.

We go out as a big group and always split the bill as it prob works out over time. But one of us who is on a tight Budget always gets her own bill for what she has. Very doable for most restaurants these days.

They are only do it because they are fed up of subsidising people who intentionally order more and hope to pay less. If you are on a tight budget, it can put you off socialising. It's usually just one or two people in the group who ruin it for others.