Does anyone else dislike splitting the bill?

[Savedbythebell36]

Unless you've had something very similar and the price difference is pennies.
I went out with a group of friends the other week, I don't drink alcohol and most of them do. I had a starter as a main course, and two diet cokes.
It came to £33 each when splitting, even though my starter was i think £8.99 and two cokes around £8 in total.

That included a tip, but that would've meant me leaving a £16 tip which sounds extreme. I wish I'd spoken up really, next time I will but you're labelled as 'tight' if you do that. I asked them to confirm again, and nobody said 'you've only had a starter/soft drinks whereas we had more.'

It does put me off going sometimes but I suppose if your friends call you tight/cheapskate then they aren't real friends? I'm on more of a budget too.

It is difficult OP - is there one friend you can confide in in the group who will back you up when you broach it?
The problem is often that once one person pays only for what they had others want to and you end up in a big discussion.
I loved it in Germany where everyone just tells the waiter what they are paying for so pays for their own consumption, and it’s expected, not socially awkward.

Can’t stand it. Why do people expect to be subsidised? If I had had more I would always say hang on why are we splitting evenly when some people had more. It shouldn’t be on the person who spent less to speak up.

Your are being petty and rude just split the total bill regardless it's good manners.

I bet it’s by the greedy ones who’s had the most and are benefiting from it . How’s it cheap to only pay for what you’ve consumed? It doesn’t even make sense. They’re actually the tight greedy ones.

I just don’t understand people who do this. I like a drink with a meal and maybe a cocktail I always refuse to split with friends who have had soft drinks - why should they subsidise my alcohol?! It’s so selfish!

I doubt most people notice your drinks are less expensive to be honest. You are suffering from the difference between vice and virtue😩

But that's the point, if you don't keep track of what people having it's unfair to expect people to pay whatever you demand they pay even if it's far more than what they've consumed.

We got suckered into going to sort of friends birthday meal once with all their mates that we don't know and the couple sat us quaffed bottles of wine, picked the most expensive seafood dishes, had several courses and then they fucked off at some point without paying! So the bill got split and everybody had to pay for that couples greedy stunt. Our sort of friends do have a tendency to piss people off so whether it was some sort of revenge I don't know but all the innocent people at that table were asked to share the cost! I think we paid £60 and had a pizza and a beer each! I will never let us be in that situation again!

If it’s a rare thing I don’t mind, particularly if it’s a great night out with good friends. If it was regular and I thought they were taking the piss and I was counting the pennies, id decline the invite.

Yes I hate this!! My family insists on doing this but I’m the only one that’s single (and a single parent so money is tight) and I don’t drink. If we end up going out people will order starters and desserts and bottles of wine etc and it makes it unaffordable for me. I just don’t go now!

Splitting the bill is my favourite way of doing it. As a non-drinker who is usually driving and who doesn't pick expensive options, I find it preferable to the excruciating embarrassment of watching people bickering over who had what.
The worst outcome is when all the discussions eventually resolve and you realise nobody is planning to tip the poor staff who have looked after us all evening.

I fully agree that splitting is annoying (and completely unnecessary now, when everyone has a calculator on their phone, it's less and less common to pay with cash, and most places allow multiple payments for the table), but, ultimately, this.

It can be more awkward if you're with a group you don't know well, but these are your friends, for heaven's sake. If you like each other enough to go out for food together I don't understand why you can't mention to them 'Actually, I only had a starter and a coke so is it okay if I pay for my own, otherwise I'd be paying a tip that cost more than I ordered, and I don't think the service was that good!'

I dislike splitting the bill for two reasons.

1. I don’t want to subsidise someone else’s excess
2. I don’t want to have to limit what I order to avoid others subsidising me.

I much prefer it when everyone pays for what they order.

Being out with friends it’s normal to share a restaurant bill. Most often people take more or less equal measures. And splitting the bill
into individual portions is cumbersome and often petty. People are very often penny pinching when, for the sake of a couple of pounds, they claim, ‘I had less than you’. It stains the event. If you don’t want to share don’t go.

Maybe you could leave a bit earlier, go up to the bar before they get the bill and pay for yours separately.

i think for you to say you'd like to pay for what you had is reasonable as it sounded a substantial different in cost.,if thats what you prefer. I wouldnt do that (i dont think you shouldnt though)because i hate it when people get out their calculator and pay to the penny.
Would a better way be when you order ask the waiter to bill you separately?

Pay for your portion.

Some people get anxious about these things. It’s the way it is. No point in trying to make OP feel bad about that.

So much anger and resentment about something that is so easily solved - pay for yourselves or don’t go.

Again, why would you socialise with people you don’t like or trust? Seems bizarre

Then OP should consider not going - is a night out worth the angst?

Then you can call them Pisstakers and Cheeky Fuckers.

But if you don’t drink and have boozy mates with expensive taste, that difference has been £60 to £100 at times.

ETA. I don’t worry about it, I just pay my fair share. One of my best friends has had bariatric surgery and usually just has a starter. She also just calculates her share. Obviously we add on for tip.

Voted yabu because you should have spoken up and said that your spend was 17 quid, they can split the rest…

You are right no real friend would call you a cheapskate. Only thing I would say you need to say when making arrangements or at least before anything is ordered. If they moan it will get complicated, problem solved by getting separate bill/tab.

Oh no, I hate splitting the bill, I like free stuff too much.....

Agree with this but I would add it might be better to say at the start even before you’re ordering
”Sorry all, I’m on a tight budget and only ordering a starter so can I pay separately?” At the end of the meal people have had a few drinks, keen to go, are busy working it all out and it can be annoying/awkward even though your request is absolutely acceptable.