AIBU: It’s a vegan one

[FiveMetresUp]

We have a work event scheduled for just before Christmas. All staff are invited along with their spouses and children. There will be food, Santa, games, etc. It sounds like a lot of fun. I am quite new to the company. I asked the organizer if our vegan family would be catered for and she said she “would try”. AIBU to be a little annoyed at this?

We have been vegan for a long time. I don’t talk about it unless it comes up in conversation or, as is the case here, we have been invited to an event. We are always grateful when people cater to us, but most of the time they don’t bother.

AIBU to just not go? It would be a shame because it sounds like a lot of fun, but if the organizer can’t be bothered to lay on a few bits of vegan food, then I don’t feel that my family and I are welcome.

AIBU?

But again, wouldn’t the people with allergies just not eat while they were there in case of cross contamination etc?

I suppose this is a principle thing as well but I think there are better hills to die on

Maybe you should try broadening your horizons.

Sounds like you've been indoctrinated to believe 'vegan food' is some other worldly, fantastical strange thing when it's actually just food, you know similar to the stuff that you eat.

But by not going you are making a fuss. Just go and if there is vegan food, great! If not, grab some food after. I went to a children’s party yesterday and food was laid on, I didnt eat any as I didn’t want pink wafers, cheese and pineapple and grey sausage rolls. I ate elsewhere on the way home. No biggie.

I imagine this woman fired off an email to the caters which said ‘Can we have some vegan options too please. There is at least one family of 4 who will need to be catered for.’

You brought it up, she said I’ll try. That’s it. See what happens. If she hasn’t catered for you, then fair enough don’t go next year. But don’t not go, that seems like a twisted logic.

But also not fair for your kids to miss out. My daughter had CMPA and if we avoided things because of the food she’d have missed out on a lot. I’d go but bring my own food. You can raise the wider issue if not catering for vegans if you want but to not go seems a bit like cutting of your nose to spite your face.

What would you eat if all the meat eaters and other vegans got to the vegan food before your kids did?

I think I know about 3 people IRL who eat meat and turn their nose up at 'vegan' food but still happily eat their salads, veggies, bread and such.

If the food means this much to you then I'd suggest your husband brings a few snacks as he's taking the day off to work to come with the kids.

Hopefully the vegan food shows up but there is still a massive chance that you won't be the only people who want to eat it lol

Same.

I've had to be on various exclusion diets over the years, and never seen it as anyone's problem but my own.

However, veganism is much more normal now. I'd ask again for confirmation, but keep it friendly.

Most places ask for dietary requirements and accommodate accordingly.
From what I have picked up, lots of work events cater for vegans and that's the food that isn't eaten and goes to waste.
My son and I have actual food allergies, including soy! We don't make a fuss but always have food with us in case there isn't anything suitable.
You have chosen to be vegan, and you have to suck it up if there isn't anything suitable. You take food with you and manage it that way.
Go and enjoy the activities and take your own food, so it isn't an issue.

You’d almost be better off saying that you are allergic to meat, fish and dairy. That would scare them into action😅 I’m only half joking. Some people have a very dismissive attitude towards veganism and many actually seem quite angry. I don’t really get it. I’m not vegan myself but have a few family members who are. Nobody should have to take their own food with them, unless it’s particularly niche, like only eating coco pops or something.

No i have lots of food allergies but i dont expect everywhere i go to pander to that i work round it, live how you want but dont expect the world to pander to that

Being an ethical vegan can be considered a protected characteristic (quite a high threshold to meet). Being vegan is not a protected characteristic.
There was a case a few years about it, which is worth a Google!

yes- and considering many posters are mocking the OP and saying things like she has indoctrinated her children and they probably are desperate to chow down on a chicken drumstick- well her point is well proven.

That’s a minority though

What message does it send to not go at all?

This woman sounds awful! You should make a fuss!

I'm a vegetarian diabetic who can't eat starchy carbs. I've long given up on eating food out, as there generally is nothing that I can apart from veg/salad.

I would decline and do so by email pointing out that you won't bring family in to have to stand and not eat like everyone else. And copy HR in on it.

What a bizarre post!

OP, I'm sorry you feel the event wouldn't be worth the hassle, but I don't blame you. And the woman at the conference was awful and would have really shown herself up.

What a shame about the food waste. And so easily avoided by simply asking how many people want vegan food, and then catering accordingly. Very poor management.

She is new to the company and you want her to put in an email to HR that her kids are vegan?

Yeah, lovely impression to your boss that is. She's already said she keeps it quiet, her husband is taking the day off work he can surely pack the kids some suitable food and feed them beforehand just incase.

Emailing HR before even knowing what is going to be there is bonkers and totally not what you want to start off as

I agree. It doesn't make any economic sense. Aside from the food waste, vegetarian and vegan dishes are cheaper to provide than dishes containing meat and fish.

p5 of this is worth flagging up
https://www.vegansociety.com/sites/default/files/uploads/downloads/Supporting_veganism_in_the_workplace_2026.pdf

The protected belief stuff would relate more to consistently mocking or harassing a vegan employee, and the veganism would have to be an ethical position - rather than say, resulting from a dairy allergy.

But I think good employment practise would be about ensuring that everyone could take part in a company meal/social event.

Yeah Don’ t tell HR

if you get on with your manager then just mention it to them that you’re vegan and that the last event you were invited to had no meal options for you and you are concerned about the Christmas do because your family are also vegan. Can they advise how you can approach this as when mentioned at the time you felt dismissed and belittled.

unless it’s a small organisation you can’t be the only one with dietary requirements

NBU, I'd also be pretty miffed. If you're organising an event with food, the bare minimum you should do is cater to people's dietery requirments, whether vegan, religious or allergies. If that is too hard for you, you shouldn't be the one doing the organising.

I would leave it a while longer and a few weeks before the event email her (so it's in writing) and say following your conversation (and say roughly when you had it) you're just checking the caterers have confirmed they are able to provide vegan food for you and your family?

If she says 'yes all good with the caterers' that's fine if there is actually a vegan option when you go.
If she says 'yes sorted it with caterers', and then on the day the caterers haven't provided then I think you can raise a 'why not?' query with your manager (stating as far as you're aware person organising event had arranged this with the caterers as confirmed by her response to your email, and the issue will be with the actual caterers )
If she says 'no, bring your own' I think you can then raise a 'why are we not being catered for?' question with your manager

@AlwaysExtraHot it’s a Christmas party. It’s not life and death. I think it’s petty to flounce about it and deprive her kids of an experience she’s said they’d enjoy.

It's pretty off of her...its easy to get vegan food nowadays...so i think she is being awkward just for the sake of.