AIBU: It’s a vegan one

[FiveMetresUp]

We have a work event scheduled for just before Christmas. All staff are invited along with their spouses and children. There will be food, Santa, games, etc. It sounds like a lot of fun. I am quite new to the company. I asked the organizer if our vegan family would be catered for and she said she “would try”. AIBU to be a little annoyed at this?

We have been vegan for a long time. I don’t talk about it unless it comes up in conversation or, as is the case here, we have been invited to an event. We are always grateful when people cater to us, but most of the time they don’t bother.

AIBU to just not go? It would be a shame because it sounds like a lot of fun, but if the organizer can’t be bothered to lay on a few bits of vegan food, then I don’t feel that my family and I are welcome.

AIBU?

I'm still struggling as to why the vegan food was left.

I'm obviously dumb or missing something 😄

It surprises me too. Usually, vegetarians and vegans have to try to get in quick before the meat-eaters help themselves to all the vegetarian options.

It would give them the correct message that too many people find vegans difficult to cater for, despite the fact that they’re not.

I think saying that your children won't be able to go is ridiculous.

Of course the caterers should be able to provide vegan food. It's pretty mainstream these days. I've been vegan for almost 40 years and things have changed a huge amount in that time.

But if you find out that the caterers aren't providing food then just take your own. It seems to me that your cutting off your nose to spite your face but it's your children who will lose out, not you.

When my dd was little, most of her school friends' parents knew that she was vegan but I still took a lunchbox of vegan party food for her just in case. If the parents provided food that she could eat then that was a pleasant surprise but I didn't count on it.

I don't see why you can't ask the organiser what the caterers said when she asked them about accommodating a vegan family and then take your own food if you aren't confident that you will be catered for.

You shouldn't have to at a work event but it's better than going hungry or your children completely missing the event.

I laughed a lot at this

This. Vegan food is not the moon on a stick.

My point was that there is very little food waste, despite the nature of the event. University students are like gannets. Any food remaining at the end is taken away and eaten later or shared with other students that didn’t attend.

The vegan food was left because few wanted to eat it at the event or take it away to eat later. We are talking fairly basic university catering here, not haute cuisine.

Message her about it again and copy in the CEO and HR

If they can't be bothered to do the bare minimum to make the OP and her family feel welcome, I can certainly see why thr OP wouldn't go. Feels rather more petty (to put it mildly) on the employer's part.

I’d absolutely deal with this and take you seriously if it came to me as part of the people/hr team.

It’s now actually potential discrimination not to. and also pretty shit - why would you feel comfortable knowing you aren’t making someone else feel welcome at an event?

you are in the right here - push for it.

If it’s a work event it needs to be inclusive and vegan food should be provided, it is at ours. I am gluten free, well actually a coeliac so I don’t have a choice to be restrictive, as it’s a medical necessity for me. That said, I would recommend bringing a few additional snacks for your children in case they don’t like what’s provided.

How would the children not like what's being provided ?
They've never been allowed to try it - now is their chance.

Oh yes. Great idea. Let a child who's never eaten meat, eggs or dairy with a digestive system that reflects that, loose on the pork pies and cream cakes and let them fill their boots. What could possibly go wrong?

Where have you read that OP's kids have never been allowed to try the food that will be on offer?

Was the child asked if they wanted to be vegan?

I don't think anyone other than the OP can tell you that but, assuming that they are young children (of an age where they'd still have an interest in Santa), I'd assume not but don't see why that's an issue. Most parents who subscribe to some sort of ethical belief system raise their kids within it, until/unless the kids reach an age where they might come to their own, contrary view.

Were your kids asked if they wanted to be meat eaters?

Love this answer!

I've no idea. But if they're small enough to be excited by santa, I'd suspect not yet. Anymore than a child will have been asked if they want to eat animals, be brought up a Christian, live in Hartlepool, be called Amelia or have a baby brother. Because its a decision their parents make on their behalf.

Tbf the point isn't the kids being forced to grow up vegan, the point is she expects her family to be catered for rather than herself coming up with ideas or snacks or boxes, at her very brand new job and people encouraging her to take it to HR / top bosses and demand

She's asked, it will probably have naturally available options, granted i do eat fish but I've never gone anywhere where there is nothing available to eat.

My kids eat all the foods and don't bat an eyelid unless its something they really do not like, but I've never had an event or been to event where it's only meat eggs and cheese and nothing else

Personally I cook different meals for me and all 3 kids to their preference but my kids eat everything also, they have their preferences but they're not fussy

Tbh the Christmas event is a red herring

the previous event where she was t catered for for days and was then mocked for it are the real issue that needs addressing

I don't want to be seen to make a fuss.

What message does not standing up for yourself send to your kids.

Rural France and your local restaurant has veggie options?

You’re lucky - whenever we go out to eat in France there are never any veggie options…

The vegan options the in-house caterers at my local university seem to serve are usually based around raw peppers, often with raw onions. Meat eaters might try a single sandwich but most of the vegan offerings go uneaten especially when there’s no shortage of alternatives.

I appreciate that peppers are tasty, but not everyone can eat them.

The vegetarian option is almost always also the vegan one.

As someone with lots of dietary restrictions I don’t go to events which are based around food (eg formal dinners), and don’t expect to eat at others, like lunch at conferences. What I don’t appreciate is people then nagging me to go to the dinners, especially when they want me to pay for what I can’t eat.