Selling inherited house when sibling living in it

[Dutchhouse14]

Our DM passed away a few months ago and her will divides everything equally between me and my 2 siblings.
Im the sole executor.
Dsis ,mid 50s, has always lived at home, never moved out. Towards the end of mums life she became her carer.
She works limited hours although she has increased these with overtime since mum passed away but full time contracts are non existent in her sector.
Shes used to pay a small amount of housekeeping but this stopped when she was made redundant from full time work about 10 years ago.
DMs house is in a bad state of repair, none of us can afford to maintain it . Me and my other sibling want to sell.
But DSis is resisting ,not replying to texts, avoiding phones calls, went out when estates agents came round for valuations etc
She has limited income and savings but could get a small mortgage and with proceeds of sale she could get a 1 bed flat.
My other sibling agrees we need to sell but doesn't want to upset dsis and is generally very good at avoidance! They are happy to give Dsis a much bigger share ie 50% I would prefer 40% which i think is realistic for dsis to buy somewhere.
So ive become the wicked witch of the West in Dsis eyes and shes taking it all out on me, well basically stopped talking to me.
WIBU to put the house on the market?
Probate has been granted.
Anyone know what the legal situation is?
I dont want to fall out with Dsis, I love her, but she seems filled with resentment for me and frankly has said some very hurtful things.
Ive always been there for her but shes never ever reciprocated or supported me when ive needed it.
Although I live with DH and DC, the money would really help my future, my pension etc and I dont want to give my share to Dsis, which is what I think she really wants as shes used to being in charge of DMs money , always lived here so I think basically considers everything as hers.
Just dont know how to move things forward or if im being unreasonable selling the house and wanting my share

She had pretty much a free home for years

if she had been put in a carehome there would be no house to sell .

And sister would have had to move out then.

And have no inheritance either

I agree with this too. Sister seems vulnerable, unsupported and very alone. I couldn't do that to a sibling if mine who had cared for my parent like that. Your sister was loyal to her family. This story is sad.

I would reach an agreement with her whereby she can stay but your and brothers children will eventually inherit it.

You seem cruel Op. No wonder you have no relationship with her.

@Alittlewordinyourear Yes, she has saved them all money over the last five years, but I can't understand why she's apparently rather broke given that she worked FT until 10 years ago (so until she was in her 40's).

Imagine how much we'd all be able to save over 20 years of FT work if we didn't need to pay rent nor a mortgage? We'd all have thousands more than we currently do! In theory, Dsis should have a considerable nest egg and the house isn't exceptionally expensive.

Unless there's a backstory, it sounds as if she's never made financial provisions for herself and now she's upset because her siblings can't subsidise her as her Mum did.

When a house won't be taken into account
There are some situations where your home will not be taken into account, even when paying for care home costs. This is when one of the following people also lives in the property, and will continue to live there after the person has moved into a care home:

• a husband, wife, civil partner or partner
• a close relative over the age of 60
• a dependent child
• a relative who is disabled or incapacitated.

The person’s house might also be the permanent home of someone who has been caring for them, such as a friend. For as long as the carer is living there, the local authority has discretion to decide whether or not to include the value of the home in the assessment. This is more likely to apply in cases where the carer has given up their own home to care for the person with dementia, but it is not mandatory.

its not straight forward but a charge could be put on the home and the sister stay living there, the money to be paid back at a later date

it would seem the mother put this in her will - the split of money to be equal but the split of care all one sided

@IzzyGone She did provide a home for her DD all her life though and paid all the household bills. So financially, she gave one child far more than the other two (assuming that she didn't give them house deposits, etc.).

Yeah I think you're being a bit unreasonable to make your sister - who cared for your mother for five years until her death - homeless, to furnish your pension pot.

As the sole executor, I’m quite sure that you can make the decision to put the house up for sale independently aside from anyone else’s views. I don’t know what the situation is in terms of getting your dear sister out should you sell the property and she decides to be awkward. You may want to ask legal advice just to clarify your position. It may be extremely upsetting for her, but it’s unreasonable for her to sit on inheritance that is split three ways if two of you want to sell. It is also entirely down to you as to whether you want to get more of a shared to her, but there is no obligation and your other sibling can do a she pleases.

Yes but she sounds as if she was most likely avoiding thinking about it, distressed, whatever reason. I get the idea it's been extremely stressful for her, not living in real terms of finances, practicality etc.

Would you all be able to discuss this with the help of Cruse bereavement organisation? They must have seen all sorts of situations like this before.

If the sister was still living in her mother's home, it could not have been sold to pay any care home fees, her mother would have been financially assessed on her savings and income to pay a percentage of the fees and the Local Authority would have funded the rest.

This. OP has no savings so she presumably can't afford to spend money on a house she's not living in. A one bed flat will be cheaper for sister to run.

I think you're being a bit unreasonable to make your sister - who cared for your mother for five years until her death - homeless

Why would she be homeless?

Have you actually read all the OP’s posts? The sister lived in the family home all her adult life rent free. Now that’s saved her many thousands in rent or a mortgage.

Your sister’s been completely screwed over - firstly by your mum for splitting the will 3 ways, and secondly by you for turfing her out of her home.

What an utterly thankless existence your sister has had, how incredibly sad for her to be so significantly undervalued.

@Franjipanl8r You think that being housed and having the household bills paid for your entire life is of no value?

I'm also in my 50's and would be hugely grateful for that level of support. I'd certainly know that I was valued if a parent did that for me.

She cared for her Mum for five years, which was a wonderful thing to do. But she had decades of financial support from her Mum prior to that.

She lived rent free, until she turned carer think she had quite an easy life

Perhaps your sister doesn't have the skills/confidence to get out and manage on her own. It doesn't seem like financially she is isn't doing great, and I'd bet she doesn't want to end up in a strange flat alone.
She is single, and probably finds huge comfort being in familiar surroundings. The family home is all she has known. I couldn't turf a vulnerable sibling out like that.

I have a brother who was financially supported for years at home. It doesn't mean he is loaded. He was is many ways vulnerable and lack the skills to provide a nest egg for himself.

Why are they necessarily vulnerable? So vulnerable she was able to care for DM.

Some DC who stay at home do it for an easy life and not to have to pay rent. Why should they then claim the whole inheritance?

@BoundaryGirl3939 I agree that vulnerable adult children definitely do need to be taken care of.

It doesn't sound as if the OP's Dsis is vulnerable in that way though. She worked FT until she was made redundant and was managing their Mum's money and making decisions about her care in her final years, for example.

of Course you can sell it! Why wouldn’t you if you can’t afford to maintain it. Sell it, everyone gets 1/3 and then you can each decide what to do with your own 1/3. Maybe your sibling wants to give their whole share to Dsis, maybe you want to give your sis 10K and your sibling wants to give her 20K but it doesn’t have to be the same. And she’s entitled to her opinions on you but don’t let it sway you! Give in on this and she’ll be in a mood over something else

Agreed. She wanted / wants the money for herself. The will is straightforward. Just let her know she'll need to be out by Jan as you're selling the house.