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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That you should not put pictures of other peoples children on Facebook???

152 replies

Love2bake · 01/07/2008 16:39

I just noticed that someone I know has put a group picture of some children on their Facebook account.

I know that this person does not have permission from the parents, in fact I am sure the parents dont even know about it.

Is this unreasonable or not??

OP posts:
OverMyDeadBody · 01/07/2008 16:42

Hmmmmm.

Quite a few of my friends have pictures of DS on their facebook albums, he's never tagged in them and only their friends will see them anyway, they've never asked my permission first.

I'm not sure, personally, why so many people get worried about this, what is it that could happen that is so awful as the result of a picture?

OverMyDeadBody · 01/07/2008 16:43

FB isn't open, so it's not like just anybody will see the photos is it?

I'd say YABU.

Original poster
Love2bake · 01/07/2008 16:45

Well it depends if they have locked their account. If not, then anyone could look at them.

For me, its just the fact that I know the parents dont even realise their kids pictures are on FB.

OP posts:
KelaH · 01/07/2008 16:47

I thought only your friends could see your photos?

Page62 · 01/07/2008 16:47

i am on FB and i have a cousin who recently visited me here and took lots of photos of the kids -- she absolutely adores them . she has put it on her album of her trip here on her FB account. i don't really mind to be honest. Does that make me a less vigilant parent? i don't think so (well, at least that's not my definition of vigilance). i only have so much energy to i try to reserve it for the battles that count.
Having said that, i don't post other people's children on my FB account as i am aware that some people are funny about it such as yourself. It has probably never crossed that person's mind that your friend would be horrified that's why she did it.

Original poster
Love2bake · 01/07/2008 16:50

Can I just make clear. I have no problem with pictures of kids being ON FB.

What I wanted to debate was, whether it was ok to put OTHER peoples kids photo's on without their knowledge.

OP posts:
TheBlonde · 01/07/2008 16:52

YABU
The person who takes the photo owns the copyright and can do what they wish with them

cazzybabs · 01/07/2008 16:54

Ithink you are being unreasonable - I guess if you didn't like it youshould object at the time the photo was taken.

LittleMyDancing · 01/07/2008 16:55

I think it would be only polite to ask if the parents minded.

FB is open to everyone unless you specifically lock your profile, which a lot of people forget to do. And when things are on the internet, they're on there forever - people think you can delete things but you can always find them if you know where to look.

once you upload them to an organisation's servers, you've lost control of them forever - that's worth thinking twice about.

so when your DC is looking for a job, that pic of him naked on a fur rug may come back to haunt him!

love2sleep · 01/07/2008 16:55

I got into trouble for using an internet company to get enlargements of some digital photos of ds and his friends. One mum was worried about "the security issue". I really don't understand what the problem is but just apologised profusely for the sake of a peaceful life.

With facebook I would expect to be contacted if the boys pics were up there, but that is because I'm nosey and like to see pics of my beautiful boys.

FruitynNutty · 01/07/2008 16:56

What about if someone (a complete stranger) has a picture of their child at the farm (for example)and your child happens to be in the background and puts the pic on FB? You would never know. I'm sure this has happened loads of times. I think as long as they don't tag the pic without permission then it's absolutely fine

LittleMyDancing · 01/07/2008 16:58

Yes, not tagged is a slightly different matter, IMO.

Original poster
Love2bake · 01/07/2008 17:03

Cazzybabs - Sorry, but you've totally missed the point of this thread

OP posts:
BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 01/07/2008 17:05

We had a wonderful day up in London recently with some friends. I posted pictures but I made sure that you could not see the other childrens faces. It is not my place to post pictures of someone elses child or even of another adult for that matter.

On that note, someone (you know you are)() posted a picture of me at a MN meetup, some in RL who was also a MNer saw me and commented, I was quite angry at the time.

cazboldy · 01/07/2008 17:08

I don't thnk you are being unreasonable actually... my SIL did it, and I was annoyed.....but in all honestly it was the fact that she pays no attention to them usually - not even a birthday card - but was bragging about her "lovely neices and nephews"!

fruitstick · 01/07/2008 17:13

I really don't understand the problem. So someone might see a photograph of your child. What are you concerned about?

It seems to me that everybody has become so cautious we've all forgotten what we were supposed to be worried about in the first place.

I'm not entirely sure that someone naked on a rug would harm their job prospects, unless they were 34 at the time.

UnquietDad · 01/07/2008 17:14

If you are worried about paedos, the sad truth is that could get their jollies just sitting and watching your children playing in the park.

icecreamsoda · 01/07/2008 17:14

People view Facebook almost in the same way as they would view a photo album or a set of photo's they might send around to their friends. Until recently most people would think nothing of taking pictures of their friends' children and showing them to their friends. The difference though is that Facebook is a public site which can be accessed by anyone so as soon as you upload your pictures on to the net they're not necessarily secure.

But most people just don't realize that and therefore don't see the harm in putting pictures on their Facebook accounts.

My brother is a police officer and he has dealt with situations where paedophiles have taken innocent pictures off the internet and super-imposed part of one child on to another who is being abused. And although the child in the photo being used hasn't been abused, I wouldn't want to think of pictures of my child being used in that way.

But most people just don't realize and when they put pictures on the internet they do so innocently.

UnquietDad · 01/07/2008 17:15

You can lock your Facebook albums so that they are only viewable by your friends. I'm surprised everyone doesn't do this as a matter of course.

Bluebutterfly · 01/07/2008 17:17

I have pictures of other peoples children on my account. Only my friends can see them and I have never used their names or any personal details - they just happen to be in a photo with my ds - furthermore I have never given my ds's name out on facebook. It is all very anonymous.

I think you are being a little bit paranoid.

icecreamsoda · 01/07/2008 17:19

If albums are locked to the public then I don't think it's an issue.

I wouldn't put pictures of my children on mn though.

Kimi · 01/07/2008 17:21

I do not put photos of my children on the internet and I would not want anyone else to do it, I would not put photos of other peoples children up either

UnquietDad · 01/07/2008 17:22

They aren't locked by default though, which I think they should be. The default setting seems to be "open to all" and you must actively make them viewable only to friends - I don't think that's made clear enough.

pointydog · 01/07/2008 17:33

YANBU

I don't really understand why people put any pictues of their childrne on teh internet.

Lowfat · 01/07/2008 17:36

I have just posted pre-school sports day pictures on facebook, but I have locked it so only my pre-school related friends (parents and teachers) and my family can view them, I have had no complaints.

I have also posted pictures of other friends children and locked those so only that group can see them. I never name them, but I occasionally tag them with the parents name so they know it's there.

I love facebook as it lets me share pictures, but I am very aware not to post pictures with other people children without permission or open for everyone.

Actually everything about my acount is locked so that my friends can see my pictures but no one else. And I dont have any friends on facebook who I have not known in the flesh at some point during my life.