Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That you should not put pictures of other peoples children on Facebook???

152 replies

Love2bake · 01/07/2008 16:39

I just noticed that someone I know has put a group picture of some children on their Facebook account.

I know that this person does not have permission from the parents, in fact I am sure the parents dont even know about it.

Is this unreasonable or not??

OP posts:
daftpunk · 02/07/2008 12:05

yanbu. i wouldn't do it. (wouldn't put photo's of my own kid's on the internet)

reethi96 · 02/07/2008 12:14

Chukkypig, I don't really care about the 99,999 nice normal people. I feel uncomfortable with ds's picture on the internet and I feel just as uncomfortable with my own picture being on the internet which is also on my sil's facebook account. The possibility of paedophiles looking at the internet had not even entered my head. I just don't feel comfortable with our pictures being so accessible and I think it is incredibly rude to put photos on a public site without asking for permission.

rebelmum1 · 02/07/2008 12:29

With the advent of digital photography tho I think you need to accept that photos that are taken will in one way or another be on the internet. You need to mention your concerns when they take the photo or not let people take photos.

happynappies · 02/07/2008 12:34

Chukkypig

Asking friends who have the courtesy to ask if you mind them uploading pictures of your children not to, is hardly the same as taking all men off the streets is it??

Surely you have a right to say no if someone asks about uploading pictures? I've already said that you can't do much about people who you don't know who might have inadvertently taken a picture with your dc's in, but people who you know who purposefully have taken pictures - in my opinion they should ask before uploading them. I didn't say my concern was specifically about paedophiles - I am uncomfortable with a whole range of security issues that pictures on the internet gives rise to. I think in time privacy laws may well change to reflect these growing concerns.

rebelmum1 · 02/07/2008 12:38

How do you store your digital photos if you don't use the internet? Do you just keep them all on a disc?

VictorianSqualor · 02/07/2008 12:38

wot fruitstick said.

Also, if a paedophile really wanted a picture that badly do you think he'd hack into some random facebook account in the hope of them having pictures of children or goggle?
Really?

happynappies · 02/07/2008 12:39

We've got an external hard-drive.

VictorianSqualor · 02/07/2008 12:39

*google.

rebelmum1 · 02/07/2008 12:41

Don't you even send them by email over the internet?

happynappies · 02/07/2008 12:41

I'll say again, it if fine if you think your pictures are safe on the internet, but surely other people have the right to say no if they'd rather pictures of themselves or their children didn't find their way out there? Its not random paedophiles looking at the pictures that is my particular concern - it is people who are maybe friends of friends who have an unhealthy interest in children, and who know details about us - it isn't about dirty old men 'hacking in' to FB accounts, it is about anyone who could use information about you in a less-than-innocent way.

happynappies · 02/07/2008 12:42

tbh our pictures are for us - no we don't tend to send them to other people.

happynappies · 02/07/2008 12:43

It doesn't matter whether you do or don't email pictures anyway - that is a different issue to people uploading pictures without consent to networking sites like FB. I thought consent was the issue?

rebelmum1 · 02/07/2008 12:44

I can't see the problem to be honest if it's such a problem don't let people photograph your children or let them participate in group photos.

reethi96 · 02/07/2008 12:44

Well they wouldn't need to hack into an account because the photos are public.

My concern is not paedophiles I just find it weird to find that there are loads of pictures of my family on a random website when I have even been asked whether I mind!

We had some pictures of ds taken by a photographer and she asked me if I minded if she used them for publicity and yet family members don't feel they need to ask for your permission! And I look bloody horrendous in some of the photos my SIL has put up of me!

happynappies · 02/07/2008 12:46

I'm not saying it is such a problem - I'm just saying that if anyone asked me if I minded them putting pictures of my dd up on Facebook I'd say that I did mind.

rebelmum1 · 02/07/2008 12:46

Most people wont consider it to be a risk in any way shape or form as they are uploading photos of their own children and themselves so probably wouldn't even think to ask. If you take issue with it you have say upfront before a photo is taken.

rebelmum1 · 02/07/2008 12:47

I would say the onus is on you to give them terms and conditions of how they can distribute it.

happynappies · 02/07/2008 12:47

Fair enough - perhaps I should do that from now on.

LittleMyDancing · 02/07/2008 13:56

Personally I think the paedophile thing is a complete red herring - the crux of the matter, for me, is still that it's a very public way of sharing a photo.

If you show people a print, that's one thing.

But suppose, as I said earlier, you're in hiding from an abusive partner, and someone puts a pic of you and your DCs on their Facebook account? It's much more likely that your expartner might see them there and track you down, via the friend of a friend thing, or because you haven't locked down your FB account properly, than it is if you're just showing prints to your close family and relatives.

Or, (and this could apply to me) suppose you're applying for jobs, and you don't want prospective employers to know you have children until you get to interview, as you'd rather impress them first and then let them know you're a mum second. (And don't tell me people don't discriminate against mums, I'll laugh hollowly...)

So you don't put pics of your DCs on your FB account, but anyone plugging your name into Google (as employers do to check out candidates) immediately brings up pictures of you and your DCs on someone else's unsecured account?

Again, you might say, it's not very likely to happen, but the fact that it could illustrates the fundamental difference between showing people pictures and posting them on social networking sites. For me, they're too public, it's sharing too much information about myself with everyone who has an internet connection.

devonblue · 02/07/2008 14:02

Agree LMD. But surely anyone that you are close enough to for them to have taken your picture as a group (not just incidental in the background) could be asked not to post them as a preventative measure, or at least not to put your name on them?

I think legally you are protected under the data protection act if you are the recognisable subject of a photo, though enforcing that is another matter.

reethi96 · 02/07/2008 14:10

I agree with littlemydancing.

I don't think the onus is on the individual to express that they don't want their photo's to be made public. Before the days of the internet you would not have told people not to display your photos on the village noticeboard because you would quite rightly assume that they would not do so unless they had your express permission.

Under data protection legislation an organisation would not be able to distribute any personal data (including photographs) about you without your express consent. I just think it is common sense and good manners to ask first.

happynappies · 02/07/2008 14:38

Despite the fact that neither I nor my dh have personal photos on FB, SIL recently posted a picture of her dc's and my dd, with dd 'tagged'. We politely asked her if she'd mind removing it, [explained we don't put pics up of her ouselves, and maybe ott but concerned about security) and now the mother of all rows has blown up. Now - perhaps the onus should have been on us to say something when she was taking the picture but tbh it didn't cross my mind that she would upload it to a public forum without our consent. It has certainly made me think about how to handle this issue in future. AIBU to think we could ask someone to remove a picture that was uploaded and tagged without our consent?

devonblue · 02/07/2008 14:46

IMO not unreasonable to ask them to take it down.

GColdtimer · 02/07/2008 15:57

Its not unreasonable to ask them to take it down imo, if it is something you feel strongly about. It shouldn't create a row - your SIL should respect your wishes.

However, she probably doesn't understand your concerns and wanted to share some photos of her DCs with their cousin.

I am sure this if really common - I just don't think it would occur to people who put their own photos up on facebook that others wouldn't want them to do this.

fruitstick · 02/07/2008 19:09

I must admit I absolutely love looking at other people's children on Facebook, even when friends have been tagged in their photos and I have no idea who they are!

I'm sure this is exactly the kind of thing that you have a problem with but I really don't see why. Vanity seems to be most people's issue here (the photos were horrendous) and vague issues of privacy which nobody can quite put their finger on.

LMD - you make some good points. But if you were escaping from an abusive partner I'm sure friends would be sensitive enough to not tag you in photos and i'm sure you would be sensible enough to not have a facebook page.

The job interview issue is a good point though.

Unless you are Katie Holmes I really don't understand why you would object so much to someone looking at your child.