That you should not put pictures of other peoples children on Facebook???

[Love2bake]

I just noticed that someone I know has put a group picture of some children on their Facebook account.

I know that this person does not have permission from the parents, in fact I am sure the parents dont even know about it.

Is this unreasonable or not??

Chukky I'm not new to this parenting thing and I'm still baffled. Seems no one can actually put their finger on why it is so bad.

Maybe all the other children are walking around with tea towles on their faces in public al la Michael Jackson's children and we just haven't noticed!

overmydeadbody, your DS isn't going out there to have pictures taken of him everywhere he goes so that people can look at them. it's different from purposefully uploading pictures of someone's kids and then others having the ability to download them onto their own PCs/hard drive etc.
sadly accounts can be hacked into, so even if you have secured your account thinking only friends can view it there can be a breach of privacy. it's rare but it does happen.

Exactly as Elf has said - my facebook is locked for only friends to see and anyone of those friends could just as easily be invited into my home. Furthermore, my child's photograph has been taken at little friends birthdays - children whose families may or may not still be family friends in 20 years time. If ds is famous they could just as easily sell the photos - I really don't live my life on the basis of "what if ds is famous one day". If he is famous then my job is to make sure he has the solid family background to give him the self esteem to deal with whatever crap might come his way. In anycase he is a gorgeous boy (imo), so what problem, exactly, will unearthing childhood photos create?

sorry for being so cynical but due to my career I've worked with some horrendous clients. You wouldn't even want to know some of the things they've done. other mums who work in that field hvae a similar view to mine so it's not just me being extremely cautious.

But, Scottishmummy, that doesn't answer the question as to why that is so bad. Seriously. Even if some sicko downloaded pics of DS, it's very very unlikely that DS would actuyally come to harm as a result isn't it!

And also OMDB, that's your DS. You get to choose where you take him and who sees him, and who you send pics of him to.

Wouldn't you be upset if one of your friends posted a print of your DS to everyone in the UK? Not because of any definable risk, but because it would be an invasion of privacy and also because they hadn't asked you first?

I'm just arguing that it's down to common courtesy to ask first. As this thread clearly shows, some people don't mind, and some people mind a lot. So out of manners, it's best to ask first.

Well, no I wouldn't. Firstly, because that's never going to happen, and secondly, if we're talking hypothetically, so what if they did? It doesn't affect DS or I in the grand scheme of things.

BlueButterfly - arguing that your Facebook profile is locked completely naive. Hackers can make mincemeat of Facebook profiles in seconds, if there's an incentive.

And I'm not saying all DCs will be famous, but rather that once the picture is up, you can no longer control it - it's completely out of your hands. Facebook gives you this illusion of control over your information, but it's all a complete sham.

Fair enough, overmydeadbody, you're not fussy if other people download pics of your kids, each to their own ofcourse. I wouldn't want other people to view pics of my DS. It's noone else's business.
You're right, no harm will come to your kids directly, but would you honestly want pics of your kids all over the place online??
It's a basic violation of your privacy, or so I would see it anyway. I certainly don't want my DS picture everywhere for just anyone to see, online or otherwise.

and no, I don't get to choose who sees him. Any Tom Dick or Harry who happens to be in the same place as us gets to see him. Some even get to talk to him!

And, for the record, random strangers have even taken photos of him, and I haven't run after them to conviscate their cameras.

Exactly scottishmummy - OMDB wouldn't mind, we would, so therefore

ASK FIRST.

Littlemydancing, that's what I've been trying to say aswell re the hacking. People are so naive if they think their FB accont is 'safe' by restricting it to friends only....

I still dont see the uproar.

My dd is on a friends picture album on FB as she posted the pics of her DD's party which my DD attended.

Doesn't bother me. Her account is private so not like everybody can see it.

I think it is terribly sad that there are so many rules nowdays, no longer able to photograph / film children nativity plays, no longer able to take pictures in the park in case other people take offense that their children could be in range.

Scottishmummy - if you are inferring that child abuse should be a consideration - most child abuse is conducted by a person known to the child - so someone you would, in all probability give permission to photograph your child in the first place. I agree with caution - i would never, ever, ever, include personal details on the internet - fgs,beyone my name, my OWN personal details are not available - even to my friends - nevermind the name or details of any child (including my own).
I agree with caution, but I refuse to become paranoid...

I think putting pictures of your children on mumsnet is worse - available to everyone, at least on Facebook it is limited to certain 'aquaintances'

Well, I was just trying to establish WHY so many people feel the way you do Scottishmummy, of course you all have the right to, but I just wondered if there was actually a valid explanation that's all.

I don't see it as an invasion of privacy any more than I view CCTV as an invasion of privacy.

Oh, and do you know how many times you are captured on cctv during the course of a day spent in any town or city in the UK?

thanks littlemydancing. asking first is polite. i ask friends first before taking pics of their kids, even if they are all playing together. it's onlypolite to ask, and all other mummy friends i know do the same. i always thought it was common courtesy, quite surprised how many others out there don't even think to ask actually considering what a ridiculously PC world we live in today.

I am not saying that FB is fool proof, nor is MN with reference to pics on profile.

But surely if somebody wanted to "steal" images of children it would be easier to do it online from webpages etc.

just glad to know I'm not the only one with such views, nice to see others share a similar view point to my own on this topic.
i think we've all digressed a tad on the OP query though.

mmmm

You think thats bad? Check THIS out!

My DS is adopted from within our family. His birth mother is a nightmare (I have not reached this conclusion overnight, I HAVE tried believe me). I was checking her MySpace account the other day to check she had not put pics of DS on it. Oh no, that would be too normal. She actually opened a new MySpace account for my DS and his half sibling. Ahhh you might think - how sweet NONONONONO! The page is called Mother You'd Like to Fuck. The lead photo is of her in a basque and there is a graphic with a sillohete of a foxy chick with two children clinging to her legs 'got two kids and still got it going on!'. She has also helpfully included the children's full names in case a particularly stupid peadophile has missed the point. Social services were outraged right? Nope couldnt give a toss. Still fighting to get the whole thing removed.
Dontcha just love the internet?

I don't see the problem at all either. So what if someone sees a photo of my DD. Big wows.

What does concern me, and can I just get this right, is that at my DD first birthday party I should not take any photos with any other children in? Because people might seriosly object if I did? In case I put them on facebook where someone might see them?

I mean, there are trillions of appalling images which paedophiles can call on (if paedophilia is what is the problem) which do not involve trawling facebook and selecting one, let's face it, fairly standard kid from millions of others of fairly standard kids.

If it's a question of risk, then we know that by far and away most abuse happens at home or involves someone known to the family.

But I don't see anyone saying that people shouldn't be showing photos of their DC to family or friends. Or in fact that they shouldn't be leaving their DC with family and friends, ever, just in case.

I agree it is polite to ask to take the photos, but if you have permission, then surely it is up to you if you use the photos in a traditional album or on a secure online album.

Not everyone lives next door to their friends and family, so a secure facebook photo album is a great way to share with distant friends and family.

Yes Chukky - that was my point too but you have put it more succintly!