Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That you should not put pictures of other peoples children on Facebook???

152 replies

Love2bake · 01/07/2008 16:39

I just noticed that someone I know has put a group picture of some children on their Facebook account.

I know that this person does not have permission from the parents, in fact I am sure the parents dont even know about it.

Is this unreasonable or not??

OP posts:
Original poster
Love2bake · 01/07/2008 17:59

Fruitstick & Unquietdad - Read MY posts - you are not getting my point.

OP posts:
Greyriverside · 01/07/2008 18:20

Oh god! Someone might see them!

And?

I hate to break it to you, but people see them all the time. Bus drivers, teachers, random passersby.

In addition to them looking at kids ( a bad thing? )they could also take pictures of them if they were bothered.

I love the bit about pictures taken as a child making it harder to get a job.

Original poster
Love2bake · 01/07/2008 18:22

FFS - I give up!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
OverMyDeadBody · 01/07/2008 18:25

Why would you not want pictures of your children on the internet? What exactly is it that you are worried about happening as a result?!

Seriously. There are far greater dangers out there to our children.

LittleMyDancing · 01/07/2008 18:26

For me it's not about paedophiles, but just about manners. Putting someone's picture on Facebook, especially if you don't lock it, is like putting it up on a big billboard somewhere. And who would want that happening without warning?

I'd definitely ask before I put up a pic of a friend's child, especially if they were identified in the pic. Not because someone dodgy might see it, but because it's only polite to do so.

And I think the OP was really only about putting up pics of other people's children - what you do with your own is neither here nor there.

OverMyDeadBody · 01/07/2008 18:27

Why do the parents need to give permission? It is, after all, the photogapher who has copyright to the photos, not the people pictured.

FrannyandZooey · 01/07/2008 18:28

love2bake
we are all getting your point
listen carefully to the next bit which is apparently the hard bit:
some of us don't agree with you.

OverMyDeadBody · 01/07/2008 18:29

No, it's not like putting it on a big billboard somewhere. I hate to break it to you, but most people are just not interested in what pictured their friends post on FB and only look at them either very briefly or if they are in them or know others in them.

They are still as dull as people's real photo albums to others.

overthemill · 01/07/2008 18:35

well i have done thius because you can only see pics when you are a friend and i am very strict. no david cameron for me

littlepinkpixie · 01/07/2008 18:35

Facebook accounts are not open to all. The lowset possible level of privacy would be to let your friends of friends and networks view your profile, the idea that anyone could be browsing anyone elses profile just isnt true.
Photo albums are by default open to all, though you are unlikely to see them to even know they are there unless it is a friend who is posting them.
I think that if the photos arent tagged then there isnt much harm in it

Bumperlicious · 01/07/2008 18:44

I don't think this is unreasonable per se but I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

And whilst FB can be made private to people in general it doesn't take a very sophisticated hacker to get into accounts for whatever nefarious reasons.

I am very paranoid about social networking sites, a for very good reason, believe me.

Jux · 01/07/2008 18:55

I wouldn't be happy if someone put a pic of dd on a site of any type, without asking me first.

ChukkyPig · 01/07/2008 19:05

When I joined facebook I was rather surprised to find a whole load of photos of my wedding! That was a shocker I can tell you and I was livid for a while - I mean this were bad snaps taken with me looking in the other direction pulling a gargoyle face or whatever.

I got over it though.

I haven't posted any photos of kids friends but if they were in a group with my DD it wouldn't have occured to me not to or that I needed to ask permission.

I am still fairly new to this parenting thing and really don't get all the fuss about photos. If someone sees a photo of my child, why is that a problem?

ChukkyPig · 01/07/2008 19:07

Or indeed, why is it a problem for anyone to see a photo of my friend's child? Just so you know I understand the question, love2bake!

Bluebutterfly · 01/07/2008 19:11

Right, but my child has a birthday party and I take photos and I print them and put them in an album and let everyone who comes to my house see them - is that problematic for people now too? Do I need a birthday party disclaimer or permission form before I take photos at my child's party - has it really come to this? Afterall, the parents of the children at the party may not know everyone else in my life that I might show the photos to, does that make me impolite or inconsiderate, or even dangerous. It is not like I write the child's name and address into the album. Same with facebook.

scottishmum007 · 01/07/2008 19:22

I always ask permission before I take anyone's picture, esp other mums kids, as you just never know.
I say next time make sure that people ask permission to take your kid's photo to ensure that it doesn't happen again (if you choose to say no).
Friends ask me if it's ok to take pictures of my DS, and I usually say yes. As long as he's fully dressed.
I wouldn't be impressed if they were splashed all over a social networking site though.
And tbh I agree with pointydog, what's the point of uploading pics of anyone's kids on the internet? It's a paedophile's paradise.

ChukkyPig · 01/07/2008 19:22

If I saw photos including my DD on a friend's facebook account it wouldn't bother me at all, assuming there was a reasonable context and they weren't just randomly only posting photos of my kid! In fact I would think it was nice.

e.g. there was a 1st birthday party and photos were taken of the birthday boy, guests, cake, babies playing etc. I would be more than happy for her to post them on her facebook account and not at all surprised if she did.

Really are there people who would object to this? And I am really interested to know why?

ChukkyPig · 01/07/2008 19:25

Out of interest, for those who are worried about paedohhiles, do you also object to mothercare catalogues, newspapers which may contain pictures of children, sites which show photographs of historical interest, tourism brochures etc?

scottishmum007 · 01/07/2008 19:26

even if your page is restricted to friends only, accounts can be hacked into (as was the case earlier this year with one big social networking site) and photos can be easily retreived. Doesn't mean restricted photos are actually truly restricted.
And I get your point OP. Loud and clear.

scottishmum007 · 01/07/2008 19:29

nothing against mothercare brochures with other people's kids on it, fair do's to them. Personally wouldn't want my kids to be on them.Anyway, that's another thread entirely...

scottishmum007 · 01/07/2008 19:31

bluebutterfly, that's different. Using a traditional album means only you are showing those photos of your kids to specified people (people you know well). Uploading pics online is a compltely different ball game. There for the whole big bad world to see.

LittleMyDancing · 01/07/2008 19:34

But BlueButterfly, the big difference is that with your print albums, noone gets to take the pictures home and do with them as they wish, do they? they look politely and then you still have control over the pic.

here's a hypothetical for you - you're on Facebook, you post lots of pictures of your child at various stages of growing up. Then your child becomes famous, and the pictures are suddenly worth a mint. You decide to take them down so magazines can't print them as you feel it's an invasion of privacy, and who wouldn't - but guess what? any fairly crap hacker can get them anyway even after you've deleted them, and sell them to the highest bidder.

Now I'm not saying that all our DCs are going to become famous, but that putting photos on the net is a completely irreversible process - once they're out there, they're out there.

So if you're going to do it with pics of someone else's kids, you ought to do them the courtesy of asking first. It can't be undone.

And what if they're in the witness protection programme? Or hiding from an abusive father/husband? That's where it's NOT like putting them in an album.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 01/07/2008 19:34

but if your facebook account is locked for only friends to see, what is the issue?
sorry if I am missing something

OverMyDeadBody · 01/07/2008 19:35

and why does it matter if the whole big bad world sees them? Seriously?

I take my DS out in public all the time, for the big bad world to see him in the flesh!!!

ChukkyPig · 01/07/2008 19:36

I feel like this is a real minefield. Like I say I don't really get it so can I clarify the rules?

I can take pictures of my own children, obviously, although if they are partially clothed I won't be able to get them made into cakes in asda.

I cannot accidentally let any other children in the photos. If I do, I cannot show the photos to anyone else. Would this include my DH?

If I do want to take a photo which includes anyone elses child I need to find their mum or dad and check that I have permission to take their photo. Should I also ask them who I can show the photo to/whether I can put it on my facebook profile/whether I can put in in an album at home?

Like I say I'm new to this parenting thing and I don't really understand this. I don't want to inadvertantly upset anyone though.