to not want ds, 9, to attend the sex education lessons at school?

[fircone]

It's just that he is only a little boy. He is the youngest in the year and is completely un-streetwise. His friends' mothers are unhappy about these lessons too.

I'm not Victoria Gillick (remember her, anyone?) and I would be happy for information to be provided at the end of Year 6 before they move up to secondary school, but I strongly feel that at nine years old this is going to be all too much.

I know that there is the brigade who insist that children must be aware of everything from the earliest age, but I am happy for children to stay children for as long as possible.

Tempted to start composing a Biff and Chip do sex ed story now. But probably wise to resist.

lisalisa, are you saying that you are v cross that another child's mother gave HER daughter a straight answer to her question?

I told DD that you go the the doctors and they give you a tablet and you have to close your eyes as not to know whether it is pink or blue and then the baby grows inside you - ow as she is going into year 4 I realise what a huge mistake I made telling her that at age 3 because she remembers it word for word and now I have to tell her the truth and she will ask why I didn;t just tell her in the first place so I have bought some books - I don;t know why I didn;t just tell her - nothing to be ashamed of just thought she was a little young to know about sex - we are having the talk at the weekend so she doesn;t get laughed at when they start talking about it at school next year!

Just have a little chat with your son and let him go - you don't want a repressed little man on your hands with strange ideas gleaned from chinese whispers about where babies come from etc...

dfes site has a sre and parents section, but I can't link at mo.

roughly they learn
growing and changing together which has themes in it like personal saftey and hygiene and friendships and relationship

and also cover body changes and puberty and reproduction.

Not all in great depth at y4 but over course 0f y4/5/6 and in greater depth and breadth at ks3

personally I think it is good to be talking about sex and relationships and families and body changes including emotional ones from an early age so they not floored when things begin to change for themselves. ANd even at nine they are things which they will begin to notice and things they will already know.

Bet there's a feww girls in the class with budding breasts and one or two period starters.

My mum gave me a fairly frank sex ed talk ages before we covered it at school (in year 4). The 'playground' version at my school was pretty graphic so I'm glad I had all the facts from my parents otherwise I would have been fairly freaked out. The truth was much more innocent than most of the stuff that kids were making up/telling everyone.

My 5yo knows the whole lot - sex, babies, childbirth, placenta/cord, pubic hair/breasts/voice changes/male and female hormones etc. He's a very curious and analytical child who wouldn't take kindly to being fobbed off with euphemistic claptrap. He was 4 when he started firing questions at me about it (we were in the veg section in sainsburys at the time and ds2 was ahving a tantrum )

I don't think he's "lost his innocence" or "grown up too quickly" or any such twaddle. Nobody who met him would think so either, he's completely innocent. Perhaps that's because, although he knows the nuts and bolts of human reproduction he doesn't know about all the shame and stigma and general silly hysteria that surrounds these issues in the minds of so many adults?

Thanks to those who have given me reassuring and helpful comments.

I think ds should have the sex education after thinking about what people have been saying on here.

yay|!

well done, good decision.

My SIL is a primary school teacher and often has parents coming in worried about what they will cover in sex ed. In her school they invite parents in to see the video first, so that they know what's covered in case children want to ask questions.

I knew how babies were made at around 6 or 7 as my mum was pg and she bought me and my brother (5 yrs) a book. It was my brother's favourite bedtime story for some time!

DS is only just coming up to 2, so doesn't really understand the concept (I'm pg at the mo) but I hope I'll be able to answer his questions honestly when the time comes.

FWIW I was pretty much a 'late developer', climbing trees and playing with my toys until at least 12, not interested in boys until around 14. So obviously I didn't have my innocence taken away...

yes, good decision fircone - it'll be fine you'll see 1

And bog off and read The Joy of Sex, hair and all, to those who have been pompous and self-righteous.

arf
you loved it

I agree with Greensleeves, my dds (8 and 6) know most of the details about sex and reproduction from a fairly explicit book they were given. They still seem pretty innocent and childish really, compared to many of their peers. They see sex as an odd adult quirk. Similar to drinking wine or coffee or reading the paper.

Well done, fircone.

And good point, Rhinestone. FWIW my mother gave us ALL the facts in huge detail from when we very first asked - I was definitely drawing diagrams of the female reproductive system before I started school (she'd just done a degree in zoology). And I didn't have sex until well after most of my friends.

Noooo don't wish TJOS on people, it really is horrid!

I'm glad you decided he should go to the sex ed classes. Children will learn about these things anyway. IMHO I think its better they get the facts correctly from the start, instead of playground rumours.

I have done 'The Talk' to kids in year 6, with their parents at the back of the room.

I have also given 'The Talk' to kids in years 7, 9, 10 and 13.

And it is different every time because the way you tell them, and to a degree the things that you tell them vary based on their age.

When I last did this for year 6 the parents thanked me at the end.

It really isn't a big deal, and the kids don't get the pop up Karma Sutra at age 9

i wish i knew where to start with my kids
they know where babies come out, they have never asked how they got there in the first place

do you just sit them down and say well guys heres the thing...

they are 9, 7, 4 and nearly 2 btw

When they are ready, they will ask you.

When they ask you a question, answer it and check for understanding. Then stop. Only tell them what they want to know.

Once you have done this the first time, they will feel happy and confident to come to you later on, and ask for more information.

the temptation is to tell them eveything as soon as they ask the first question, but that might well be more information that they want or need at that point.

I agree with Edam. I don't see the connection between innocence and no information about sex.

If it bothers you a lot, keep him off school that day. And the other kids will probably tell him. If they haven't done so already.

And doesn't everyone whip their knickers off and masturbate when they're a bit upset? No? Well, you should. In the supermarket queue preferably.

My parents opted me out of sex-ed at junior school and I was teased. When my sister became pregnant when I was 11 I was just asked, "Do you know how that happened?" and told, "Don't you EVER do the same to your father!"

The result? Major hang ups about sex.

Age appropriate education of all topics is vital!

Mb, ds (8) came home a while ago asking me the meaning of some pretty explicit term he'd heard in the playground (can't remember what the word was now).

I told him the basic meaning, then said "Do you want me to explain that to you?"

"Er, no thanks Mum, it's okay."

sounds like good advice, thanks
ds1 has been taking special notice of his appearance since a new little girl moved into the street, spiking up his hair and spraying deodorant when he thinks im not noticing
but he gets all embarrassed when i try to talk to him

Good for you in being big enough to change your mind, Fircone. You don't see a lot of that on here. I'm sure it will be very gentle stuff at 9, but do have a chat with the school about what's involved to reassure yourself. It's personal choice of course but I think 9 is more than old enough to know basic biological facts, and the younger a child is, the more likely just to accept it and not worry about it and get hang ups. The thing is, if you exclude him (personally I don't think you should but I really do think it's up to the individual parent), he might get teased and that would be hideous.