to not want ds, 9, to attend the sex education lessons at school?

[fircone]

It's just that he is only a little boy. He is the youngest in the year and is completely un-streetwise. His friends' mothers are unhappy about these lessons too.

I'm not Victoria Gillick (remember her, anyone?) and I would be happy for information to be provided at the end of Year 6 before they move up to secondary school, but I strongly feel that at nine years old this is going to be all too much.

I know that there is the brigade who insist that children must be aware of everything from the earliest age, but I am happy for children to stay children for as long as possible.

I think if he doesn't attend then he'll learn a 'playground' version of it from his friends anyway - as most of us probably did.

I'm 38 and I don't remember having any sex education apart from some kind of lesson to do with periods for which the boys were excluded and spent most of their time pressed up against the door trying to hear what we were being told. As a result many of us felt that Periods were something a little abnormal or at least shameful.

I remember getting very confused about the menopause when I was a teen, thinking it was 'rude'.

Thankfully as far as sex was concerned I learned most of what I needed to know at the age of 6 from my parents.

Masterbation was not something I was taught at all which I think was very wrong. Hopefully things have changed since then.

Schools are very careful about what they tell pupils, especially at primary school.

I would ask for more information so you can see for yourself what they will be told and how and then make a decision.

Withdrawing him from class may make him wonder why he's missing out & be even more curious, even pick up misinformation from other children when they discuss it. Presented in a class-room setting makes it non-threatening and just part of the learning that goes on about themselves in the PSHRE curriculum.

Of course, it's your right to withdraw him but, as quite a conservative parent, I think 9 is about the right age to start to have a little information, after all for some pupils puberty may have even started.

tbh ia m suprised YOU havent said anything to him at this point
who do oyu want to deliver sex ed?
if its YOu then pull your finger out

fircone - completely and totally agree - haven't read whole thread btw - only OP.

I explained mechanics of periods etc to dd at aged 10 when it was conceivable it would become a reality soon ( she's nearly 12 now and still no sign though!). I did not explain mechanics ( or otherwise ) of sex at age 10 though as IMO far far too young.

Woudl have done so before transfer to high school in basic terms ( i.e. how babies are made etc)( she's in Yr 6). However - and this makes me v cross - I had the opportunity denied me as dd's friend , having seen the adverts for SEx and the city on buses all over the town, asked her mother what "sex" was and was given a blow by blow account . Dd then asked me if it was true and i confirmed that it was. She asked me all kinds of details such as why the man's private part hada to go into the woman's private part etc and it wsa all a bit embarrassing for boht of us I think. I am cross as the discussion was forced on me and I had wanted to broach it in a calm and quiet manner rather htan havv e the info demaneded of me by dd and then pronounced as something disgusitng and horrible by her ( she is at the age when boys are noisy, dirty and disgusting!)>

What is wrong with a playground version?

I have a fairly healthy past and two children, so no 'official' sex education didn't do me any harm!

My friend told me whilst sorting milk bottle tops for a Blue Peter appeal.

And the boy next door asked if I fancied looking at his willy if I hadn't seen one before.

All good rite of passage stuff rather than a politically correct old video.

My 3.5 yo DT's will be finding out how their new baby brother or sister will be entering the world quite soon. They will be 4 when he/she arrives, they already know there is a baby in mummy's tummy and keep on about it coming out of a hole in mummy's tummy, so we will set them straight nearer the time.

Actually Fircone, have a look on Amazon, there's LOADS of books explaining sex, bodies, masturbation etc in a gentle 9 year old friendly way.

I am looking for books about being a big brotherm as one of my DT's is not too keen about the new arrival as yet!

of course she will say its disgusting
tbh if she said " great" id be worried!
and what is diffo to that or your kid just askign oyu out of the blue

i think a LOT of htis condemntation of shcool sex ed comes form teh apretns OWN insecutities and hang ups

But lisalisa - you have only very limited control over the environment in which your child lives outside the home. If you had wanted to keep "the talk" for yourself, you needed to do it earlier. That might have been younger than you would have liked - but surely better than your DC hearing it all from a friend?

Lisalisa - if it was embarassing at 10 imagine ow embrassing it would have been if she were older....

OTOH not at all embarassing if you'd done it much earlier.

Why oh why do people get so worked up about their precious offspring learning about one of the most basic, and frankly amazing, part of how the human body works? Presumaby nobody get het up telling little Johnny that his poo is food that has been digested?

Keep him off school that day if the teacher won't exempt him. He is your child atferall, not theirs.

nothing wrong with the playground version, oh unless you include the potential huge inaccuracies and misinformation or the someone's elses mum/dad's implication of shame?

The trouble with a playground education is that the info may be wrong. My Mum told me where babies come from when I was about 4 or 5 but at school lots of other children had very different ideas about it.

oh i cant be btoehred to argue htis as i am right and you are wrong.

,sigh>

Fircone - so would you (unlike Lisalisa) prefer for your son to find out all about sex from a friend of a similar age?

I think if it were me, like lisalisa, I would prefer to have that conversation with my child first so that when they do attend sex education classes they are not completely uninformed or surprised, or when they are told by their class-mates they will be fully informed as playground chatter isn't always factually correct!

I am too

Not sex education as such, but I had to illustrate a book (actually a very good and respected book) about periods for girls which involved drawing detailed and labelled bits of anatomy and drawings of how to insert a tampon ( remember the tampax one in the packet and how confusing that seemed to me as a girl) - it made me feel quite embarrassed even at the great age of 30 odd

my dd was age 7 when she first came home and asked where babies had come from. Her friend at school had an older sister and they had been talking about it so I decided then that I would rather tell her the truth but sort of on a need to know basis. I explained all about love and relationships etc then when I mentioned anything more about what bit went where she just went ewwwwwwwwwwwww and I havent been asked anything more since ! But she does always knock on my bedroom door lol

and when I say from me first, I mean way before the age of 9!

i am right and you are wrong.

titchy - completely agree, I don't know why it's all so taboo. I explain human biology in the most basic, understandable terms to my 3.7 year old daughter. She sees her family naked. We talk about babies being born, and feeding. And about eating, digestion, energy and how the waste becomes poo and wee. Etc etc.

In due course I will get her some books. And a bit later on school will give her a more scientific version of biology and psychology.

I am surprise by adults who are embarrassed tbh, do you find docs mw appt etc difficult? genuine q.

If so, don't you want to help your dcs avoid this embarrassment?

No official sex education did me any harm either... unfortunately it did a girl in my year who got up the duff cos playground gossip said you woldn't get pregnant standing up (or first time or while you were on your period or any of the other myths).

I was agreeing TheChicken

WE are right and they are wrong