To make a complaint that at an awards ceremony at school, the head teacher commented on every single girl, that got an award looks, yet didn't say one word regarding a single boys looks?

[Beefybaby]

I mean I feel ungrateful but it made me feel so uncomfortable,so it was a special assembly that parents attended where one boy and one girl from each class wo an award for the previous year

the head that's usually pretty good in general, yet in every mini speech he gave about the children, every single girl had some sort of comment about being gorgeous...just made me rage
Alongside all the other comments about how hard working they are, their good values like kindness etc yet there wasn't one single comment regarding any of the boys looks

It's just so insidious and depressing

Gorgeous can mean character, it's one of those words that is debatable. For me I only use it for looks but I know many who mean it otherwise. My gorgeous Grandad, my gorgeous elderly neighbour Paul, the gorgeous dentist etc. If this was the only word he used then don't complain.

So do none of the boys have a gorgeous character?

It's frustrating for girls to have their achievements to be tied in with how they look it's all very exhausting.

Even if he had referred to the boys we handsome, it's still inappropriate. Calling the girls gorgeous is creepy too.

Adult men shouldn't really be making any sort of compliment on the physical appearances of children who aren't their own, especially of teenagers.

The exception would be something along the lines of "cool new hair" to a student who has done something very different. Cool, great, or similar are all acceptable in certain circumstances. Usually only if it's something new though. And they're not sexual or romantic.

What exactly was said about their looks? Every single one of the girls had a comment made about their appearance?

In what context? Their clothing? The shape of their bodies? The colour of their eyes, hair, skin? None of those things would be deemed even remotely appropriate to comment on in any circumstances. Even in a beauty pageant it would seem old fashioned and sexist.

I've never heard a teacher mentioning looks in speeches about educational attainment.

I just can't envisage how that would look or sound as a speech in front of a whole school.

One bit of advice I haven't seen in the comments so far: have you spoken to any other parents who were there about this? I'm talking about discreetly using someone you trust as a sounding board - if they also say "yes, I was a little bit uncomfortable with the way it started to feel a bit sexist" then you have some confirmation that it is worth raising. I'm not talking about starting gossip that you think the head is a sexist (or worse).

"....and she's absolutely gorgeous...."

How very unlikely this all is

Yes and that would make it a foolish word rather than offensive or biased. It's the kind of thing that a friend or colleague might pull you up on but I'm not sure it warrants a complaint.

The training tells us not to comment on hair!
Nothing about appearance, good or bad.
Your other points are valid.

No we wouldn't want to ruin a sexist man's career even if he is being creepy towards children...

That's fair and makes sense. I was just trying to find some rational circumstances in which it might not be completely creepy.

I understand. No, it's definitely against all advice, recommendations and good practise, and he must be fully aware of this.

It's biased because it's a bit patronising when a girl or woman receives recognition of an achievement, for it to always be tied to their looks.

@Beefybaby

I attended an NHS management day about inclusion and diversity 80 people about 4 men in the audience .
The one man that was part of the delivery team gave a presentation with quotes and examples for further reading.

Not one single source from a woman not any mention they exist in management literature. Pointed this out to him at the end and he saw his arse.
The very subject he was talking in he didn’t even bother to diversify his own content So yes, this could well of happened

I have never known the word gorgeous refer to anything other than appearance. Weird that so many have apparently.

No, it couldn't well have happened just because of this unrelated incident.
It's only October, his annual training was very recent. He knows.

It almost sounds like a beauty pageant. And now the winner of the history prize is the gorgeous Debbie, next is our Science winner the gorgeous Annabel. And now we have our gorgeous sports winner Lisa. The geography winner is Alan, the Computer science winner is William, the football winner is Greg.

That's in no way the implication of what I said. If a teacher is behaving in ways that are inappropriate then hopefully most of us have heard enough about safeguarding to know it's the responsibility of all us to make sure that behaviour is raised and that we should expect it to be dealt with seriously. But spreading rumours and speculation is not the way to raise, is it? That's why I was expressing caution about discussing it with another parent.

If by creepiness you mean something that's crossed over into gross misconduct or a crime, then yes his career should be brought to an end, but that's not decided by parents.

Think were at crossed purposes, I meant the people doubting the OP is telling the truth. The head is most definitely out of order.

I also saw a gymnastic demonstration with mainly girls and some boys all in leotards from 4 to teens and the male DJ walked them all out to Blurred lines!!

Tone deaf!!

It's worth raising, in the manner of the email someone wrote above, but half the length.

Oh I see

@scienceteachersarefun No Problem🙏

👍🏼

Well obviously if it happened it's unacceptable. If it happened.

Did he describe the boys as fantastic or amazing etc.? If he did, I'd imagine 'gorgeous' for the girls was meant in the same way .

Definitely raise it. Do it in a calm and explanatory way rather than an overly critical and 'complaining' way and you may be surprised by the response.

When my DDs were at their (single sex 'til sixth form) state school - and they were in the sixth form - where year 12 and 13 had no uniform, and were allowed quite a bit of freedom of expression, the (usually excellent HT) banned the female students from wearing thin strapped, vest tops in the unusually hot weather (this was actually because they weren't professional or smart looking enough rather than exposing). All years organised a protest about the injustice and sexist nature of the ban. Lots of them, including the male sixth formers, turned up to said protest in vest tops. The response from the HT was an immediate, and public (because the protest was public), apology and acknowledgement that his diktat had been ill thought out and, indeed, sexist. His solution was to, of course, ban vest tops for both male and female students - a solution the students were very happy with. He was actually quite proud that the students reacted in that way, realised how well rounded, fair, logical and intelligent the cohort were. So, you never know...could work out well.