To make a complaint that at an awards ceremony at school, the head teacher commented on every single girl, that got an award looks, yet didn't say one word regarding a single boys looks?

[Beefybaby]

I mean I feel ungrateful but it made me feel so uncomfortable,so it was a special assembly that parents attended where one boy and one girl from each class wo an award for the previous year

the head that's usually pretty good in general, yet in every mini speech he gave about the children, every single girl had some sort of comment about being gorgeous...just made me rage
Alongside all the other comments about how hard working they are, their good values like kindness etc yet there wasn't one single comment regarding any of the boys looks

It's just so insidious and depressing

Yes, but you know as well as I do that threads are full of exaggerations and overreactions. We also don’t know the actual number of girls he said it to. All could have been 3 or 30. Or 3 out of 30. OP isn’t likely to actually provide a proper count now either because it doesn’t fit with the narrative for it to be anything other than ALL

They do. However, they get reported. Then they face the consequences.
If people witness, but just ignore it or say "oh worse things happen in private schools" or "he's old" then they are culpable by omission.

I wouldn’t like a teacher using the word gorgeous at my daughter, unless it was something like her painting is gorgeous, the dress she made is gorgeous, her cake was gorgeous, that kind of thing. Anything else I don’t see it as necessary to use that word in a school setting.

Isn't it a primary school?

As the mother of a boy, and also a volunteer in a primary school, I can see this happening 🤣

If a painting and a cake can be gorgeous, so can a personality.

I guess it's just personal opinion.

So get off MN and report to the Governors and Ofsted.

Surely gorgeous is a description, not necessarily related to someone’s appearance?

We're not allowed to make personal remarks which include judgment about appearance, positive or negative

OP, I get where you are coming from. You like the head, you like the school, you think it was all well intended but still inappropriate and needing addressed but you don't want to be too harsh because he's generally very good and you have no other concerns.

You can write an email but not necessarily a complaint if you don't feel you want to go that far. Something like

Dear Headteacher,
I wanted to raise a concern following the recent awards ceremony, which I hope you’ll take in the constructive spirit intended.
I was uncomfortable that, when introducing the girls receiving awards, comments were made about their physical appearance, describing them as “gorgeous” alongside their achievements and personal qualities. I didn’t notice similar comments being made about the boys.
I appreciate these remarks may have been intended kindly, and I want to stress that I’m otherwise very happy with the school and the positive environment you’ve created. However, I feel that commenting on girls’ looks in a setting where their achievements, values and character are being celebrated sends an unhelpful message, particularly to children. It risks reinforcing the idea that girls’ appearance is something to be highlighted alongside, or even as part of, their accomplishments, in a way that doesn’t seem to be expected of boys.
I’m not suggesting this was intentional, but I do feel it’s important to raise, as I believe all children should be recognised on equal terms for their achievements and qualities, without their appearance being brought into it.
Thank you for taking the time to consider my concerns. I hope you’ll understand why I felt it was worth raising.
Kind regards,
BeefyBaby

I hope that's helpful

In other words I can’t think of anything else to complain about today so how about this?

😅

Which is what makes me think he was referring to her personality.

Yes, could have been, @Beefybaby hadn't been very clear.

But @PoppieCock
Was he referring to every single girl's personality? And if so why could he not have said the same about the boys?

@Beefybaby
Ooooof!
If you feel that happened you have a right to report it but
Cannot/not quite believe it though that a headteacher would openly be so daft,
Especially in this day and age!

Apologies, I had read some of that post whilst scrolling and had thought it was another poster taking the micky. Yeah, don’t buy it.

Who is her? It was all the girls (apparently).

@Beefybaby Did he comment on each boy’s personality?

Wouldn’t this have landed badly with some of the teachers?

If it happened, they'll already have complained.

Yes if you knew it was a direct comment on appearance then I would question the use of wording. However some people would use gorgeous to describe the child as being overall a great kid with a lovely character. They are a gorgeous child.

It’s completely inappropriate behaviour. I work in a school in a non teaching role and we complete training every year on safeguarding and how to interact with pupils/learners and these comments are no appropriate.

There must be other people who will be making a complaint, I reckon. So you should definitely do it.

Given that a lot of people use the adjective gorgeous to refer to a person’s appearance then it’s not an ideal adjective for any teacher to use when describing a pupil.

I like the email suggested by a PO.

I use gorgeous to describe looks- beautiful, v physically attractive.
For personality I would say lovely, pleasant, kind, really nice. I understand that's not how all people use it but enough people only use it to describe looks for it to be not a good word for an adult male to say about female children under his control (or either sex to say about either sex really esp where there is a power imbalance or you don't know the other person really well and that they are ok with it).

I say hello gorgeous to my husband and to dogs and cats. Might say it to my close female colleagues, if we're pissing about in fake cockney accents, or would say they look gorgeous if they're dressed up to the nines on a night out . No way would I say it to or about a male colleague whether they were present or not, or about a student, or about anyone sort of reticent about that kind of thing who wouldn't say it themselves.