Mother of groom wearing cream?

[Waasitwroong]

I went wedding dress shopping on Saturday and took my mum, my partner's mum and a bridesmaid.

We chose the dress and then partner's mum declared she would be wearing cream to the wedding.

I feel taken aback that she'd do this and upon reflection now feel that I need to change my own dress choice to something that makes more of a statement, compared to the more understated and timeless dress I have chosen.

AIBU?
No - wearing cream to someone else's wedding is inappropriate.
Yes - get over it.

a person who chose to wear something she liked and felt comfortable in?

Indeed. Plenty of things were once considered essential etiquette, from women wearing gloves in public and never being seen smoking in the street to the idea that a respectable woman shouldn't drink alone in a pub or initiate a telephone call to a man!! Do we all follow that rule still???

Women weren't supposed to wear trousers in certain settings, cross their legs at the knee or discuss anything remotely controversial at the dinner table. And yet, remarkably, civilisation has survived.

Etiquette evolves because some conventions are rooted in genuine consideration for others, while others are simply arbitrary social rules that eventually become obsolete.
Like wearing cream at a wedding

What rubbish. Saying please and thank you has a purpose - showing appreciation for people’s time/efforts/whatever. Shaming people for wearing cream is just petty and small
minded.

Not all etiquette is created equally.

Well Princess of Wales wore cream to a wedding, if it's good enough for her...

If your MIL wants to wear cream let her...it's not a rule. As long as she doesn't turn up in a wedding dress...

My mind boggles at it, we see constant threads on here where women want to wear white or cream to someone’s wedding, it’s like they see a wedding invite and suddenkh want to dress as close to a bride as they can,

unless she’s geri halliwell , who clearly has issues, then yes it’s not ok, don’t change your dress just tell her she can’t wear cream or white

its very commonly known you di not wear white or cream to a wedding so as not to distract from the bride,

That’s beige, not cream ! Either your phone camera is off or you’re colour blind, it’s not even close to cream,

It’s not aributary, it is so as not to detract from the bride, can you imagine many turned up in white and cream?

https://www.hellomagazine.com/fashion/royal-style/906395/kate-middleton-controversial-cream-wedding-guest-dress/

Geez! You take mumsnet as a serious set of rules to live by?!!!!

Good grief you poor deluded soul 🤭🤣.

Yes I can imagine it would be world ending 😳🙄😏

My aunt done this as MOB, her daughter genuinely didn’t mind but me along with everyone else was cringing for her .. how embarrassing

You think mumsnet created this rule so decided to be abusive ?

How hard is it not to wear white or cream to someone’s wedding,

honesrly fhe women desperate to play dress up like the Bride is shocking,

get married ir married again if you’re gagging to wear white or cream to a wedding,

No, I think living your life according to mumsnet posts rather than what you see in real life is kind of …. Sad.

I have never in real life seen such rage and negativity as I have on here.

i pity you

The wedding party wearing cream is perfectly normal at some of the summer weddings I've attended. Have a look at some of the royal weddings.

Literally none of your guests will remember the details of your outfit or your mother in laws outfit a few weeks later, let alone a year later.

Not true at all! I recall exactly what the mother of the groom wore to my SIL's wedding, and that was 15yrs ago! It was a white gown with a full length puddle train at the bottom. Spaghetti straps and a visible bra underneath.

Wear YOUR dress OP. The MIL is the one who will look a fool.

I think this has much less to do with the basic ‘nobody will mistake the MoG for the bride 🙄🙄” and more of a red flag for boundary crossing in future.
Nevermind why does it bother the bride, why does the mother of the groom feel so determined that she needs to flout convention on her son’s day?
It absolutely wouldn’t bother me my mother in law wearing cream, BUT it should bother her. Why doesn’t it? Probably because she’s quite happy making everyone uncomfortable just because she can. Red flag.🚩

Thanks all. Good to know that the general consensus is the way I see it and it is somewhat considered unacceptable to wear cream to someone else's wedding.

Good points about the boundary crossing as I am also aware she has shared images of myself in dresses I tried on, which I feel is crossing a boundary and very much a red flag too.

If you’re wearing white, and she’s wearing cream, no problem. I think most people, attending the wedding, know who the bride is.

If you are close enough that you invited her to go wedding dress shopping with you, I can't understand why, when she said "I'm going to wear cream I think" you didn't say "I'd rather you didn't" ?

Or "Please don't" or similar.

@Waasitwroong
Ask her to change outfits
And this time, don't make it anything suitable for a funeral!
And remind her when people see the pictures
They'll assume she may've subconsciously wanted to be the bride herself and think she's weirdly odd for wanting that......

YANBU to feel a bit miffed but nobody will be looking at her.
At least it's not like my friend's wedding where her husband's brother's girlfriend wore white, or my other friend's whose husband's sister wore an actual wedding dress.

My godmother wore a beautiful cream suit and matching hat to my wedding, she looked lovely.
And absolutely nobody mistook her for the bride!

It’s not about anyone actually mistaking her for the bride though, It’s about how she’ll look in the photos, especially since the mother of the groom is likely to be in a lot of them. Very pale or bridal-looking colors can draw the eye and compete visually with the bride and beyond that, a lot of people simply consider wearing white or near-white to someone else’s wedding disrespectful. That’s why it’s frowned upon, not because everyone is going to see MIL in ivory and suddenly forget who got married.

Small minded because I wouldn't want to inadvertently offend the bride? Ok then 😂.