Mother of groom wearing cream?

[Waasitwroong]

I went wedding dress shopping on Saturday and took my mum, my partner's mum and a bridesmaid.

We chose the dress and then partner's mum declared she would be wearing cream to the wedding.

I feel taken aback that she'd do this and upon reflection now feel that I need to change my own dress choice to something that makes more of a statement, compared to the more understated and timeless dress I have chosen.

AIBU?
No - wearing cream to someone else's wedding is inappropriate.
Yes - get over it.

It's 2026, I think you're missing the point of a wedding.

I wouldn't change your dress but I would say to MIL that she needs to change hers

What if the bride wants to wear a white or cream suit? Those colours are reserved the bride.

It was definitely a thing when I got married 20 years ago.

Wear what you want & ignore her. All eyes will be on you as you’ll look beautiful. She’ll just look like an insecure woman trying to compete. My friend’s MIL wore a long white dress! She looks ridiculous in the photos & everyone commented on it. Most of your photos won’t have her in it anyway,so don’t worry.

This. It's really a none issue.

It massively depends on the style and to a certain extent her looks. I was married at 24 and MIL was 42 and looked about 32. If she’d worn a wedding dress she would have looked like the bride. My friends ds was married this summer at 35 - friend is 74 and looks 74 - she looked like his mum. I don’t think anyone should be “told” what to wear but most close guests wouldn’t wear white, cream, red, black or the bridesmaid dress ( I have inadvertently been guilty of the last one - it was in phase 8 sale and 2 guests and the bridesmaids were wearing it in different colours). I was married last century and it was a “thing” then. Thee is a huge difference between a knee length cream dress with a print or cream trousers suit and a floor length plain cream gown.

Then how come loads of people in this thread are perfectly happy with relatives wearing white or cream?

Men all wear suits at a wedding - why isn’t that offensive?

Can you really not pay attention to a bride if someone is wearing a cream suit?! Ridiculous

Because not everyone has the same opinion on things.

Because men wearing suits at weddings is traditionally accepted, guests wearing white is not in many circles.

sure, but paying attention to the bride doesn't stop me thinking it's rude behaviour. I can do both at once

I think many people today place too much importance on the colour of dresses at weddings. It's gone from being taken as a faux pas to an open insult to the bride. I think it really depends on the circumstances. If your future MIL has a problem with you, always tries to upstage you, etc, then yes, this is an issue. If she's been okay otherwise, I'd try not to take it personally (even if I privately thought it was in poor taste for her to choose to wear cream).

The bride will always stand out at a wedding, regardless of what she or anyone else wears, because she's the star of the occasion. All eyes will be on you and the groom. If you think a more dramatic bridal gown will improve how you feel at your wedding, there's no problem with that, but I can't imagine anyone being distracted by the MotG wearing cream (beyond some people thinking she's in breach of wedding etiquette).

This. I've just realised I wore a cream and beige silk devore slip dress (from Monsoon) to a work friend's wedding in the 90s. Zero shits were given, no one died etc. Very revealing or scruffy stuff worn is more inappropriate in my view.

My mum wore cream to my wedding. She looked beautiful, but most certainly was not going to be mistaken for the bride. I found out that someone had told her that she should not wear this outfit, but I told her she most certainly should because it looked amazing. I found her hat, also in cream, and bought it. I was never a bridezilla though.

This is my MIL at my wedding over 35 years ago. I hadn't known until the day what she was wearing (didn't have a good relationship with her). I was a bit taken aback when I saw her. I did notice lots of guests side eyeing her and whispering, so she made a fool of herself. One of her oldest family friends even made a comment to me about what was she thinking.

I'm sure you'll outshine her OP. Let her get on with it. People will likely judge her for it.

See my post. Very similar. My mum looked, and felt, amazing. I would not have had it any other way.

I can't really say either way. What is her outfit like? Does it look bridal and would people think she is the bride? My DM wore a floral cream outfit with the wedding colours in the flower pattern and a big pink hat. Very much MOTB and not bridal.

OP, your DP's mum is behaving inappropriately. Ignore all the posters telling you no one will mistake her for the bride. Of course they won't and you don' tneed to change your dress. But it's really icky.

The good news is that in these situations, it's the MOG who looks like a fool, no one else. So let it go. I would be concerned about what else she's goign to do though longer term though - it does rather set a precedent of shitty behaviour.

Several of my friends had on cream/white summer dresses and or cream/white jackets at my wedding. Entirely appropriate for a June wedding.

She looks lovely, as do you.

Get a grip 🤣🤣🤣
I wore a white trouser suit to my sisters wedding - she helped me choose it. My DDs MIL wore cream to DDs wedding - she looked lovely and no one, DD included, batted an eye.

It’s fine. No one is going to mistake her for the bride, nor will the mil upstage her new daughter in law.

I’m sure she didn’t make a fool of herself 🤣. I mean, it’s not like she would have been mistaken for the bride!

Jeeze, you’re a joy!

Good grief, this again. You see all colours at weddings these days. It’s a complete Non-Issue. Wear what you want. Crack on.

My m&d's outfits at mine.

why? Because I think her future MIL will look like a fool for dressing in what is generally considered to be inappropriate clothes for a wedding?

okay. You can think that. I don't mind. But good manners say you don't wear certain things to a wedding and one of them is white/off white colours. You don't have to agree or adhere to it, but for those of us who do, we will look askance at a mother of the groom turning up in an outfit like that.

We have various written and unwritten rules. Some are silly and we can choose to ignore them or not, but they exist nonetheless.