Is autism being used as an excuse for behaviour?

[abracadabra1111]

Child age 5 (not mine) - In school spun around with metal water bottle (like one of those Stanley cup things) which resulted in him wacking two other kids in the head with it. Child then cried about it because he was scared he’d get in trouble.

Childs mother said ‘it’s ok because he’s autistic and can’t help it and thank god we paid privately for the diagnosis so that the school understand his autism’

No punishment or correction to behaviour given.

YABU - Getting carried away at school and ‘accidentally’ wacking two kids is completely acceptable in a 5 year old autistic boy

YNBU - to be mortified that there’s zero compassion towards the two poor sods wacked by the bottle and think that autism is being used as an excuse.

Yep in theory i have four overnight respites a month for my son for various reasons he hasent had any since july this is the reality.

You see, I don't think this ever happened "it’s ok because he’s autistic and can’t help it and thank god we paid privately for the diagnosis so that the school understand his autism’"

It’s a very unusual sentence for anyone to utter, I agree.

To get an EHCP and make accommodation, the child needs an NHS diagnosis.

I suspect the teachers know what they are doing, the matter was resolved and OP is just being ableist. I would be amazed if no compassion was given to the other children, and no action was taken in conversation with the child. It reads like a fantasy scenario designed to undermine provision.

@Mouldemort "To get an EHCP and make accommodation, the child needs an NHS diagnosis." - this isn't correct. My child had accommodations from Reception aged onwards, and EHCP a couple of years after that and then eventually another couple of years after that, an NHS diagnosis of autism. Nowhere on any of the paperwork for the EHCP process does it require you to provide evidence of an NHS diagnosis.

Yes and those children with the most complex needs are without school places because special schools refuse to take them. Even with independent specialist schools including the residential type, the schools now refuse because these children are harder to staff and the schools make less profit on them.

Sadly it’s true and she’s said worse than that I’m afraid. If you haven’t encountered people like this, count yourself lucky.

I have a voice note from yesterday describing the entire scenario as I have described. I have nothing to gain by lying about this hence why I have posted on here to hear other people’s perspectives.

Well done for getting accommodation for autism without any medical evidence. You can get accommodations for demonstrated special educational needs and whether they require provision beyond what a mainstream school normally provides. But without a diagnosis, that's pretty difficult. However, in relation to the OP's supposed comments, it makes their quoted comments even less likely.

To get an EHCP and make accommodation, the child needs an NHS diagnosis.

That is not true.

That's not true at all. DD3 attends an independent special school and when she was given the EHCP she had no diagnoses whatsoever. She then got an NHS Right to Choose ASD diagnosis and private ADHD and OCD diagnoses. The LA placed her in the special school because her EHCNA indicated it was necessary.

How do you know what correction was given or not? Were you there?

I asked… and no correction or apology to the other kids was given.

@Mouldemort there was plenty of evidence for my DS’s EHCP. Just not a formal diagnosis. And it wasn’t difficult at all. Maybe I was just extremely lucky to have a great school and a competent SENCO.

Plenty of medical evidence can exist without a formal diagnosis.

Good on you - your council must be pretty decent, too. It does depend a lot on the SENCO.

In England, the law is the same whatever LA you live in and whatever school DC attend (or not).

Seeing as you know the ins and outs of the report why dont you report the doctor to the gmc and call panorama so they can out the paid for diagnosis

I think both things can be true. Autism may help explain why a child acted impulsively or struggled to understand the situation, but the other children still deserve care and reassurance. At five, the response should be about helping him understand what happened and how to keep others safe, rather than simply punishing him or excusing the behaviour.

What would the outcome of this be?

This may sound harsh but while excuses are made for autistic children's behaviour (as they are indeed just children), nobody much cares for bad behaviour in adults - even IF they genuinely have autism.
That's not how the world works.

Yes, yes there is absolutely sympathy (though sometimes not even that) with more - apologies for the word but I don't know how to else put it-more severe and obvious adult people with autism but beyond that, no I'm afraid not.

Bluntly put, once this boy grows up and he misbehaves and he is not obviously autistic nobody will give a shiny shit as to why he's behaving like he is.
That's the real world.

He can't go around attacking people and expect to get away scot free.

Somebody will retaliate even if only in self-defence.

Your relative is doing him no favours whatsoever and frankly it does sound like Munchausen's Syndrome by proxy.

She sounds f*ing dreadful and a piss poor parent.

The only thing I disagree with is that I doubt they're doing it for extra benefits.

These people never do though do they. They know all the ins and outs, know the diagnosis is dodgy, know it was given just because some money was exchanged, know parents are faking it, yet never report the professionals allegedly so blatantly diagnosing something that isn't there. Strange that.

Me either. It doesn't make sense. If it happened outside school why would school knowing he's autistic matter? If it happened in school, school will have dealt with it.

This.

Op you have a problem with a person receiving a medical diagnosis that you feel they do not deserve. So you should report the doctor so thaf their work gets reassessed. And take it to the media too.