If I could ban one type of thread from this website…

[iCod]

… It would be one's asking about trousers on flights.

Bearing in mind I've been on here over 20 years, Lived through all the baby pasta, the baby modelling threads and all that crap, that yet this one never dies.

I think it's more than even mother of a bride theme because more people are obsessed with what trousers to wear sitting down for a few hours.
What type of thread always makes you roll your eyes?

(Special points for people who say threats like the one we're on now, very good well done 😃)

If you hang on a minute I’ll try to find it and link to it.

Here you go. Enjoy !!

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/acronyms

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1730115-to-be-upset-that-virtually-the-whole-of-MN-are-mocking-my-husband

This was the follow up with an outraged Mrs Brian from Hull.
It took me wayyyyyy too may years to work out that BFH and MBFH were most likely the same person!

Here 35 (m) and my partner 25 (f), why?

Fair play, I stand corrected.

I can’t stand ‘tell me your Christmas traditions’ threads

they are all the same! Every fucker hangs a bloody stocking up/does a creepy elf/drinks hot chocolate round the fire/watches a shit film/bucks fizz for breakfast/matching pajamas/midnight mass/secret Santa blah blah

I am clearly a grinch.

The competitive heating ones. Oh we don't put our heating on until it's -12 etc. as if it's a virtue. No one's giving you a medal, just put the bloody heating on fgs

Yes, and all the shopping threads about helping choose between . . .
Or. I've just bought this skirt for £1,264. Which blouse goes best with it please?

Anything that involves first cuppa of the day and pottering around…,

Blatantly obvious engagement farming threads. This site is absolutely full of them these days and MNHQ don't care. They are ridiculously easy to spot once you know the pattern. It amazes me that so many people don't smell a rat, you'd think they'd have learnt to spot the signs by now.

The number of threads I click on, see the classic signs of an engagement farming thread, always on a similar theme (some dilemma or other) and always written using a particular style with repeated phrases, such as 'for context' and 'now here's where I am stuggling..' and 'I just don't know what you do.'

The OP is ALWAYS a brand new user name. That alone is a dead giveaway. They post 2 or 3 times right at the beginning of their thread then once it's taken off they completely disappear while everyone talks among themselves for the next 5 days.

They are SO obviously just placed on the website to keep it busy with traffic, Obviously not genuine but no wonder MNHQ don't care. it's kerchiiiing time for them. Keeps the wheels of the forum industry turning.

I find the health anxiety ones difficult as I find them a bit self-indulgent (I know that’s mean of me). And they are just a time suck as there is no reasoning with the poster, you’re just feeding their obsession further.

Honourable mention to the ‘Does my 8-week-old baby have autism?’ threads

Oh god and the ‘Do you have a shower every day?’ threads. Absolute bonkers behaviour on those ones.

I’m now splitting my sides. Just pottering in the kitchen cooking our dinner and poured myself a glass of wine. Unfortunately I took a mouthful before getting to this bit of the OP:

When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield

I just bet it has !! Thankfully MN’s bullshit detectors realised that Brian was looking for a happy ending of his own !!

Cancel the cheque!

I can't stand the 'what's everyone up to this weekend?' sappy posts. My answer is usually WORK. (Thinking to myself, fuck off...)

I still can't stand it.

And the AMAs where the OP refused to answer certain questions for 'privacy reasons' or just ignores or is very vague about all the difficult questions she doesn't want to deal with. Or just gets bored and disappears after about 6 or 8 posts. What's the point?

@Jerrybalanitis

This username is poetry, thanks for brightening my afternoon.

I really hate the obviously made up school ones, particularly referencing the trans issue. Things that no teacher would say and no school would allow.
That includes identifying as a cat.
It doesn't happen.
Everyone blows a gasket though.

I feel uncharitably mean about people posting scan photos and ‘just for fun’ guesses on the sex of the baby. Utterly tedious.

Wait wouldn’t you bring him with you if you were already going (so bring him with you in your first example), and take him is he needs to go and is the only reason you’re going?!

And another one! Sorry this has really set me off!

The ‘Does anyone else have this bug?’ threads where the symptoms are just generic bug ones like a sore throat and people are like ‘Yes me!’ when they are probably opposite ends (or a totally different) country.

Okay blood pressure is rising, I need to stop posting.

Anything to do with diabetes. Why do some people insist on posting ‘advice’ when they clearly wouldn’t know the onset symptoms if they jumped up and bashed them over the head !!

because they are ALWAYS being unreasonable!

The “I hate people” threads. If you really hate people then why are you on Mumsnet desperately seeking attention from them?

The germ phobia threads. If you lose your mind because someone wears an “outdoor coat” into your living room you really have deeper problems than Mumsnet can solve.

Threads where someone posts that their husband went on a five day bender and they are worried they might be overreacting “because peri”. Just leave him already and your “peri” will not register.