Blamed for converting dh to veganism

[VeganConvert]

Dh decided to become Vegan a few months ago. Not precisely sure why but he had been vegetarian initially then decided may as well cut out dairy, eggs etc too. We just sort of got on with it.

We see ILs a few times a year as they live quite far away , dh speaks to MIL a few times a week where she basically talks at him about her health. Obviously Dh diet was never top of the list of things to discuss!

Anyway, we are meant to see them today and yesterday MIL called me to ‘finalise plans’ tell me their estimated arrival time etc and asked what I’ll be making. I said a roast as everybody likes that , then I just said about what I’d got for dh and she went quiet, then exploded at me that a grown man can’t be expected to survive on that sort of food!!

she accused me of warping his mind to ‘strange views’ and how it’s not good for men or growing children to be Vegan, that its part of my ‘off grid personality’ and she wanted to talk to dh to make sure he was ok ???!! She has acted as if I’m influencing him and withholding food. She spoke to him and he spent ages explaining it was his decision etc etc.

She then wanted to talk to me again and said I should make sure he has a health check up and also the dc.

The thing is - I’m not vegan! Neither are the dc??!! She has assumed this was all because of me ?! I told her this and she then said ‘I’m not convinced - we will see what you all eat tomorrow won’t we !’

AIBU to be confused at her attitude to veganism and also how she thinks that I’m somehow responsible? Why would a non vegan persuade someone else to be vegan ??!!

Well, she's a nut, isn't she? I'd take great joy in serving the children non-vegan food in her presence.

She obviously has some issues with you, unfortunately, but at least you don't have to see her very often. Strange that she thinks so little of her son that she assumes you've easily led him against his will into the dark and shadowy lifestyle of veganism. Even weirder when she knows that you aren't a vegan yourself!

It’s funny how you hear about “preachy vegans” but I find meat eaters are far worse at being preachy at others for not eating the same way they do.

God yes. You speak the truth.

"MiL, you raised a man who is perfectly capable of making his own choices about his health and diet. You didn't raise a limp lentil that would allow me to dictate to him either way. So why in the world do you think that I, who is not vegan would a) want to 'covert' him, and b) would have the power to? If you are worried about his diet, then talk to him. Because this is nothing to do with me."

To be clear I am a meat eater just not a preachy one.

I used to be vegetarian though hence I got to witness the preachiness first hand!

Between the "off grid" fixation and the quorn chicken thing, she sounds so batshit that any offence I took would be overridden by the desire for entertainment and the temptation to troll her. Start your next family meal with a wiccan chant and burn some sage.

Not sure I'd be having her over the doorstep after that little outburst.

I've been vegan since 2012 and in my experience some people just react really weirdly. I suspect there's a bit of cognitive dissonance there that gets poked and they react to it with aggression and anger.
Other people decide to be mean because "a vegan once upset them" and now they're going to take that out on you.
I did it very quietly like you but still got some weird and hostile reactions from family and supposed friends! Hang on in there. They'll get over it, or they won't and they'll be twats about it.
Either way, it's not you, it's 100% them and unfortunately you're not alone!

"......then exploded at me that a grown man can’t be expected to survive on that sort of food!!"

Nearly 69. M. Vegan for past 11 years, vegetarian for 30 years before that.

I'm doing ok. I'm a stranger to my doctor.

Bloods all fine, healthy weight. Like many my age just went onto statins.