To be annoyed at MIL

[lefdlx]

My MIL and her partner have been together for a couple of years. During that time we have only met her partner a handful of times and our DD ( 21 months old ) has spent only a little more time with him than us.

There has being a couple times where we have asked if she can watch our DD, a few times she has suggested us leaving her with her partner until she is home from work. We declined on each occasion and just said we’ll drop her when she is home.

We asked if she could have her overnight for the first time a couple of weeks ago. She agreed and was looking forward to it. We dropped her and all was fine.

I was then woke to a message at 5am saying “ just to let you know childsname was fine when I left for work at 4, she hadn’t woke up once “ we was obviously shocked because there was no mention to us at all about her having to go to work early hours. We’d of picked our child up after our meal if we’d of known.

AIBU to be upset by this , and I am in the wrong for calling her out ? Our daughter still has nights where she wakes and is unsettled. MIL is completely adamant that she has done no wrong, and that we are in the wrong.

3 weeks later and my partner has only just heard from MIL again, starting off with “ I’m not apologising because I’ve done anything wrong but I think we need to clear the air “

As I said. He could do that without shouting effing and referring to "nonces". You seem to think his behaviour is acceptable and keen to excuse it. You might think that's fine in your world, but he doesn't come across as someone most parents on here would want to leave their child with.

Vited ybu. As you should have checked and made it clear it was still a no, after the last time she suggested leaving her with him.

However, you asked her to babysit, not him. What babysitter gets another babysitter to watch their grandchild? She has done something wrong, and she can't double down. As for him he's clearly clueless to even ask that question.

Lmao yes that's literally how every single post on mumsnet works.

Putting aside all the other considerations.

Firstly... she should have said she was working so that you could have collected DD. She knows full well that you have turned down babysitting by her partner whilst she was working, already. Strike one.
SEcondly, you said your DD regularly wakes up... your MIL actually phoned to say she slept through. Is that likely..

She's telling you what she thinks you want to hear and she won't apologise for doing that or accept that she was in the wrong. You cannot rely on her.
What does your DH think?