I just don't trust any police officers..aibu

[Ihateboris]

Yet another predator in the police force. If we can't trust the police, who the hell can women trust?

www.lbc.co.uk/article/police-officer-arrested-lbc-grooming-probe-5Hjdjbx_2/

Sorry, the title should be male police officers

I have never trusted them. The police force has always attracted abusers of every variety.

I think a lot of them join so they can abuse

45 Scottish police officers have been suspended so far this year for crimes against women. 3 already convicted of rape this year. Multiple attacks. 8000 staff are being vetted

Source : BBC news

Thats quite a lot in my book.

An off-duty female police officer saved me from a very scary situation in a petrol station once. I got in her car and she drove me home. If it had been a male officer I wouldn’t have gone with him and I don’t know what would have happened to me. Very sad that it’s so hard to trust nowadays.

It’s a large profession made up of individuals, statistically some, but not all, of whom will be predators.

It’s never possible in any profession to find/remove all the people who might abuse the system. The system should be set up so that individuals don’t have the opportunity to abuse power; that doesn’t always happen and it’s by no means a perfect system. I think if you spoke to most police officers they would agree that the organisation has some issues (not only in this area, but in many).

I think it’s sensible to take reasonable precautions for your personal safety - I lock my front door at night, I ask for a chaperone at the doctors, I know my legal rights with regards to the police - but I also think it’s important to keep our perception of risk in proportion. A police officer is more likely to be a safe person to approach than say, a random bloke in the street; and it’s offensive to those officers (the vast majority of them) who are not predators and take on considerable personal risk and sacrifice, to do their job for the good of society.

I broadly agree with @Calmestofallthechickens , but wouldn’t say a PO is likely to be safer than any other man. They have extremely high rates of DV, I believe.

I’d recommend treating them exactly like every other unknown man- with reserve.

I remember many, many years ago when I was in my early 20s, I was pulled over by a police officer for not wearing my seat belt. I was dressed up as I was on my way to a Christmas party. The police officer sat in the passenger seat, and the first thing he said was "you look sexy, going somewhere nice "? He then said "you don't want to scar that pretty face do you, so start putting your seat belt on". He then said, give me your phone number and I won't give you a ticket. I was so scared I just gave him a fake number. I don't think I'd pull over now.

Holy shit

I wouldn't approach a male police officer. Ever

My DDs friend wants to be a Police officer. She was telling us about all the testing you have to do now. So hopefully, the situation will improve.

If, as previous posters have suggested, they are abusive at the same rate as other men - that’s already quite bad. These men have authority to detain and isolate women and girls. It’s quite clear however that they are more likely to be abusers, racists and misogynists than other men. Any woman who isn’t worried about this is dreaming.

Yes, everyone should watch The Blame on itv

An old school friend went into the force and turned into a total bitch. I tried to go on nights out with her but she was constantly scanning the bar for anyone she thought might be doing something dodgy, she even called something in once. She said in training they’re taught to look for the three T’s- trainers, tracksuits and taxis which to me screams classism but as a result, she’d watch anyone wearing a tracksuit closely.

Anyway she invited me to a pub quiz one night with two of her fellow officers and they were AWFUL. They had Lego figures they carried around and would pose them like victims / vulnerable people they had assisted e.g one homeless man was pooing in the street one day so they posed the Lego figure
as though it were doing a shit and sent it in the WhatsApp chat. They kept telling me about “awful chavs on x estate” they constantly had to go see and how they knew it was pointless because there’s no helping them, they’re a waste of oxygen.

I stopped talking to her when she had an affair with her married sergeant who was 15 years older. So yes, I have little faith in them going into the force with good intentions. I think they’re mostly power hungry egotists.

I have several friends male and female who are police officers. They are all decent hard working family orientated people who I trust, are on my emergency call list as I know they would show up in a crisis.

So i guess from my experience I would trust the police and given that there will be as many corrupt officers as there are corrupt people in the general public I would be at risk.

But from personal experience. There are some really good ones out there so please don't tarnish all with the same brush.

I am 55 and have never trusted them (well, I know some are good so I will rephrase that to I am very wary of them). In my teenage years my dad had to go to the local police station and tell one officer to stop harassing me.

I used to socialise a little with a friend who is divorced from one; awful, prejudiced, racist, opinionated, arrogant, power mad people. This man treated my friend terribly.

I do know 2 who are very decent people, though. One's a Met officer and the other is local and very kind, sensible and intelligent.

My children have been raised to always ask for an police officers number if they are approached by them, and to be very wary.

I was lost one time and pulled my car over (safely) to check my map (it was a while ago!) and a police car with two young male officers pulled up beside me to ask me why I was stopped. I explained I was lost, I had a toddler in the back of the car, and they said I was parked illegally and I needed to move on. They were very unpleasant.

I said I would move as soon as they moved from being alongside me and they said "no need to get aggressive" - I was not aggressive and was actually quite scared. It was a quiet street with no one else around.
They did move on but not only did they not try to help me, they just made me fearful of ever wanting to contact them again.

So nothing like the bad experiences that many have had with the police but I didn't feel safe near them and was pretty glad to get home.

I know someone very similar..I've cut all ties with them

They love to intimidate women.

I dated a police officer so speaking from personal experience.

I trusted him at the start far more than I would normally trust a man I was dating by virtue of his job. Mistake - he used his training to assault me. I lived in denial for years. Confirmed by NHS clinical psychologist as assault years later during therapy. When I confronted him he managed to turn it round and blame me.

To my shame I continued to date him such was my confusion because I grew up to be very much in awe of 'the police' as being the good guys and completely trustworthy. He was very clever and knew what to say to make me feel 'stupid' or 'wrong' or 'small'. Unfortunately with a background of CPTSD (now receiving above mentioned therapy from NHS) I did not react correctly to the red flags.

His attitude to woman was appalling. I got told 'don't worry your pretty little head about it' when I didn't understand something. I could give other examples of just pure misogyny but it's too depressing. He was arrogant, dismissive and almost certainly the most unpleasant person I ever met. I'm pretty sure he was an alcoholic as well.

Very cold, unemotional and unfortunately with a father who was similar (plus didn't want/love me) lead to me 'try to win his love and approval'

I absolutely would not trust a male police officer again in any capacity.

Even in more recent years I called the police after my dog was attacked. The two male officers that came round were 'nice' enough and did speak to the other dog owner but they were kind of laughing and saying the public never tell the truth 'there's your version, their version and then the truth' was the gist of what they said. Actually no, a dog approached mine without warning and almost ripped his eye out (german shepherd/husky v small fluffy dog so you can imagine how that went). My dog completely submitted to the other dog and still the dog attacked him. The other owner stood and watched it without even realising what was happening (turned out it was not the owner but the girlfriend of the owner with no experience of dogs).

Honestly I wouldn't even bother calling them now. Years before these examples my husband had his car vandalised and the 'badge' stolen. Yes the police caught the kid who was doing it to lots of cars and the badge was returned to us. Meanwhile we had to use our insurance to get our car resprayed as they had used a screwdriver to chisel the badge off and had damaged all the paintwork and so the whole rear of car had to be resprayed (it was a new and very expensive car). Pretty sure the kid did not receive any punishment and we were £££ down. Hopefully the kids stopped doing it and his parents were made aware but for us it felt like an unsatisfactory outcome. I think he was about 13 the 'kid'. Now with all the talk of how the police don't even attend shoplifting etc I just wouldn't bother to call them unless I was in immediate severe danger to life.

If I had to deal with the police I would absolutely ask for female officers. They get alot of shit from their male counterparts and have alot to deal with I believe. I watched the documentary on Wayne C and was absolutely triggered by the whatsapp him and other police had. The language/attitude was very similar to the man I dated.
My blood run cold when the Sarah E thing came out. Also I watched the documentary on the David Carrick officer and again very similar attitudes of 'I am the power and nobody can touch me'

I am not surprised in the slightest that the police are having trouble recruiting now and droves of them are leaving.
My only hope is as the officers from the seventies /eighties leave and die off, the newer, younger officers will have a less sexist, arrogant attitude but who knows.

Finding out the police were not the good guys was a bit like discovering santa claus didn't exist.

I don't trust any police officer in general but I view all male police officers with extreme distrust. They give me the same skin crawling feeling you get from being alone in a dark place with a strange man, but even when they're in public.

Sarah Everard trusted a police officer. Let's never forget what he did to her and the fact that he was empowered to do it despite his known status as a sex offender.

My niece was married to a police officer. A few months after they were married he started to physically abuse her. She divorced him.

She married another police officer who was unfaithful with a colleague. She's going through a second divorce.

My first proper boyfriend liked to threaten me and push me around. He tried to intimidate my new boyfriend at a party. Followed me home one night after we split and my dad had to get rid of him from standing in the dark front garden watching our house.

He was a foot taller than me and had 8 stone in weight on me at least.

Surprise! He joined the police force, ‘excelled in training’ and is now a high ranking officer.

I wouldn’t be alone with him again in a room if you paid me.

Thank you for that. A close family member is a police officer and is the most moral person with such integrity. A wonderful loyal and dedicated family man. They are not all bad and unfair to generalise.

Yes, that's exactly how I feel (and every single one of my female friends, family etc)...they make my skin crawl. Perfect description.