Forgiving infidelity with my sister

[Horsey22]

The relationship is over, it was 10+ years ago. I just can’t bring myself to forgive my sister, she’s never apologised and we’ve never spoken about it since. It was my husband and father to my children. Do I leave the past in the past?

What?!
Your sister slept with your husband
then this is unforgivable and I’d never move past it

If my husband had an affair with my sister I’d never speak to either of them again, unless I really, really had to. There would be no forgiving or forgetting.

What to do the voting options mean?

Do you want to forgive her? Most people would understand if you could not.

No, id never forgive her or leave it in the past! Im sorry she did that to you!

Honestly, I think that is truly unforgivable . It’s not as if she can use the excuse that she didn’t know he was married / had kids etc.
It’s one of those things we all know not to do. Sorry this has happened to you. Such a betrayal.

is this something you’ve just found out or did this all happen 10 years ago??

Its not for us to decide.

If you want to forgive her then do so. If you don't then don't.

I take it she didn't end up with your husband?

Sometimes people just don't dumb things. At least it highlighted that your husband wasn't very good at keeping his dick in his pants.

No, I would never forgive my sister if she had an affair with my husband. I'd never speak to either ever again.

Forgiving her is a gift for you, not her. You don't need to tell her or show her either.

I Wouldn’t want anything to do with either of them. If that’s how people who are supposed to love you treat you then I’d rather be alone.
not forgivable at all.

Absolutely not. The whole point of a sibling relationship is to be able to trust and rely on one another, above pretty much all others. If they can’t do that, then what’s there to salvage? I wouldn’t inflict that kind of betrayal and deception on an acquaintance, let alone someone who trusts me implicitly. She’s not worth forgiving.

This feels instinctively like it’s completely unforgivable unless you want to really try, but no one would really expect you to.

Incidentally - one of my BILs?! Absolutely no thank you!!

God no. Screw that. Sorry your sister and ex are awful people.

Are you still with your husband? Do you still speak to your sister but ignore what she did?

It's not something I could forgive personally. The lack of apology speaks massively on her as a person as well.

I would not forgive her. And I hope he's your exhusband.

What an absolute betrayal by both of them OP.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I don't see how you can ever get past what happened.

She would no longer be my sister.

Have you forgiven your husband?

How long has the relationship been over

Never. I haven’t forgiven my sister for being a “Single white female” towards me. Referencing a movie from the 90s.

I don't think I'd forgive her, especially if she hasn't shown any contrition.

It's unforgivable. I'd usually say it's all on the spouse and not the OW but with a sister I'd find her betrayal the hardest to forgive.

I think you can heal and move on, but you could never go back to the relationship you had; those are two different things. It's a bit like saying I'm no longer upset about the broken cup, but I'll never be able to put water in it again.