I didn’t let my husband eat the meatballs, AIBU?

[dancebabybee]

My husband is an incredibly fussy eater. Basically, he will only eat beige foods and sugar. This makes going out to eat very difficult as well as cooking for him at home. There have been times in restaurants when he will complain there is NOTHING he likes on the menu (despite the menu being extensive) and he ends up eating a bread basket. I am giving you this history as it is important for what happened this evening…

I made meatballs, tomato ragu and spaghetti for dinner. Due to my husbands extreme fussy eating, I don’t usually cook for him and he is left to sort himself out. Me and the children had this for dinner. When I went into the kitchen afterwards, he had started picking at the sauce left in the pan, scooping the meatballs out, scraping the tomatoes and sauce off. I asked him whether he wanted me to make him some pasta, he said no he just wanted to eat the meatballs. I told him to please not, as it will just leave a load of sauce that nobody will want to eat without meatballs in it, and I wanted to save the spare for lunch or dinner tomorrow. He then got annoyed about this and sulked off…

AIBU?

Well at least you know he will eat meatballs now, even if it is without the sauce! No excuses....

Well, he needs to stop that shit of picking out bits and leaving the rest when it was intended for a lunch the next day or whatever. That's just inconsiderate. What a tit.
His health can't be great if he won't eat any veg. I presume he doesn't go in for wholemeal things/pulses etc, and so he probably doesn't eat enough fibre either.
And his food habits just sound so tedious. I couldn't deal with that, especially not if we were trying to eat out.

As others have said, I couldn't be arsed dealing with someone this fussy and certainly not picking bits out my leftovers when it suits them!

My friend has a man like this, she has to hide vegetables in his food like a toddler.

They have separate bedrooms.

Not sure I could even live with someone like this. Best wishes OP

This exactly! Like my paella example: eat a few spoonfuls. Eat the lot. Both fine. But don't pick out the protein and leave the other person with rice and peppers!

If he ate a portion or half a portion I'm sure OP would happily add to it or have something else for lunch. It's the act of making the food now shitty for someone else thats the problem.

And as for people saying "pasta sauce is nice on its own"- thats not the point. I like veggie rice but I don't want veggie rice. I want paella!

I don't see why this is so hard for people to understand.

My first thought years ago would have been to say absolutely no you are not being unreasonable.
However as a mum of a severely autistic almost adult daughter this is a well known autistic trait. That does not excuse the actions however I have a low tolerance now for food issues because they are strongly related to sensory issues. Finding a food that he actually enjoyed may have been unexpected overwhelming and understandably and new.
Have either of you considered potential ASD

This whole post is bizarre and I agree with this comment (quoted)…if he can’t eat the sauce, why begrudge him the meatballs? Then you all could eat together. Saying you want to save them for another day, for the people who’ve already eaten some in tonight’s meal (!)…is mean frankly, as well as illogical. I’m sure you still could still serve up the ragu with pasta/whatever for lunch. Do you like your husband OP? You sound v resentful. Incidentally who pays for the food? Both of you, or just you?

Very unattractive trait!
Massive “man child” you have on your hands OP!
You were not in the wrong, that would seriously piss me off

What the fuck?
By 'save them for another day, for the people who’ve already eaten some in tonight’s meal' you mean 'kept some left-overs' for a quick and easy lunch the next day/for the freezer. The OP doesn't want to have to cook something else to go with the left-over sauce.

You appear to have married a 5 year old

He wasn’t trying to eat together. He came in after and took the bits he wanted

doesn’t matter who pays for food. She cooked it.

^^ 100% this
this sounds like an extreme example of a difficult eater

Get him those glasses that colour your view to a certain colour, beige for him, that he can wear while eating. Cognitive behavioural therapy.
Also you need to have a discussion how his behaviour around food might be affecting your children, what they learn and what impact it is having on them.
Get yourself pink glasses. They are an instant mood boosters.

He didn't plan or cook the meal, and the norm is for him to make his own. It's selfish...... and if you do this, then so are you.

Oh don’t be ridiculous. We’re a team. While we generally cook, and eat together, real life gets in the way. He cooks things. I cook things. He eats things. I eat things. We communicate about who cooks what, when, because he’s a fussy bugger (and so am I although not so bad, lol). Neither of us is selfish. I guess my point was I don’t ‘let’ my partner eat anything, he’s a grown man. Jeez.

He does not have autism.

I have said this on another post, he used to eat anything and everything when living with his parents, he then moved out to uni and realised he can eat whatever he wants and the bad habits have manifested since then. I believe he is addicted to sugar and UPF. I used to eat the same meals as him and gained 2 stone (which I’ve subsequently lost), and felt fatigued and awful. It was very difficult to go back to eating healthily, I believe because I had become accustomed to the salt and sugar.

You do. This bloke doesn’t. He lets her cook and then steals the best bits

He's acting like a brat! No meatballs unless he plans them for his meal and cooks them for himself.
I would not tolerate that kind of fussiness, but if you're going to be that fussy, you can't take the nice bits out of other people's food!
Make your own like a grown up!

Yep. Anyone in a couple who are actually a team when it comes to food, where responsibility for cooking is shared, is not a relevant example here. Either you're like OPs DH and are therefore selfish, or you're not like that and are therefore not selfish but also not comparable.

Yeesh, I couldn't be with someone like that, big baby.

Omg you all had your dinner, he was eating what was left and you told him no, like he’s also your kid. Leftovers are leftover, if he wanted them in his own house which he presumably pays for along with the household food why be so controlling.
what a pointless argument and thread.
Not everyone chooses to be ‘fussy’, it’s a real bane.

How revolting that people feel it acceptable to be so poisonous about disordered eating.

There’s some bloody nasty posters on here this evening.

It sounds like the OP’s husband might be like me, probably suffering with ARFID. All the nasty posters need to know and accept is that he can’t help it. He’s not eating this way just to be awkward. It’s bloody miserable to experience. And it’s bloody clear that these judgemental people aren’t as perfect as they seem to think they are.

Hear hear 👏