To want twins in same form??

[NameMyyyee3333]

I know some will think me unreasonable but am I really bu?

my identical twins are in year six starting high school in Sept
we should get local as thier sister be in year 11 next year so sibling place

they want to be together they have never been apart other than the odd hour where they each do a separate hobby from one another

they look the same but are different and both have other friends but hang out all together there is a group of 3 others they are friends with

however the bond is solid they have never fallen out or need space they give each other courage and support they thrive off one another and give each other confidence they are shy and introverted if alone

i I know people may say it will be good for them but I think it’d start them off badly they are already anxious it would not do them any good to be separated they work better together socially and academically they push and spur one another on to acchieve their potential.

i just don’t know how to or who to approach this with the right person or even if there’s any point
will they listen and accommodate or just decline the request and is there even a policy to say siblings must not be together? I have no idea!

does any know what direction to point me in or even what to say! Or is there any person here with experience that can tell me if it’s worth approaching or just a lost cause?

many thanks

I'm a twin mum.
It was suggested that mine be separated at infant school (or whatever it's called now.) I was very upset, wanted them to stay together.
The teachers were absolutely right. It gave my more outgoing twin chance to just be herself without feeling she had to look after her brother. It also gave him a chance to come out of his shell & become more independent.

I don't agree with everything done at school, but in this instance, they were absolutely right.

My DD is in Y8 and they have similar but no sets: together for all book work subjects and PE by sex with another form.
Before you request this, find out what being in the same form will actually mean.
But YABU to assume it's good for them only to ever be separated for an hour up to the age of 11. Good grief. Rip off the plaster!

At one of the schools I worked at the parents made a formal complaint when their twins were put in separate classes in year three. They had lots of data from twin studies and things like that.

As a parent of teenage twins I'd say yabvu & not doing them any favours in the long term.

My DC in year 7 was put in the same form as her close friend from primary school. They see each other for 15 minutes in the morning but have no classes together whatsoever!

You can request changes for genuine reasons

as I said, mine are in primary but it’s single form entry so they are together a lot.

The teachers are good at making sure they’re not sat together, learning in separate groups and even not lining up toghether.

I can tell you joining an already established form group is hard work. You may not get to decide which form has a suitable gap either.

At my dc’s secondary, they were in form group for all subjects except maths in y7, and all except maths, English, Welsh and science until y10. Same in all schools locally. It probably depends where you live.

YANBU either , OP.

I get where you are coming from, but if they are identical, then don’t do it. Teachers and other classmates will not be able to tell them apart, and they’ll be grouped as a pair, not individuals. You say they have three friends, there’s no guarantee these friends will be in the same class. No one else will have a sibling in the same class, so they’ll all be in the same boat together.

(An identical twin speaking from bitter experience).

I'd say that some twins are best separated, and some are best together.

There's a good chance that they'll end up in some separate sets and do different subjects at GCSE so if they want and are used to being together than same tutor group at secondary seems a good way of gently moving them to being used to being apart at times with the safety net of seeing each other in registration.

I think often schools do listen to parents on this, so it's worth talking to the school to find out their policy.

The OP probably has a goid idea of how much time will be spent in the Form group as her elder child is there.

(At DDs school, rhey have no lessons in theur form groups... these are smaller than teaching groups and related to your house. )

In my kids schools there is a blanket ban on twins being in the same form class and it is a good thing especially if they have been so enmeshed up until now. It will be good for both of them.

That's not always possible. Many small primary schools have single form entry. DD's primary school had more than one year group in each class.

Edited to say my link to the poster I was responding to has disappeared.

I have id twins, they were in a single form entry primary but split at secondary. They were like yours are - now they have that plus their own friendship groups. I wouldn’t have wanted to keep them together at y7.

I have identical twins who have very different personalities and friends. They are close and get on well mostly other than usual sibling stuff. They were in the same class until they were 7 which was totally fine. When they moved to the next school we asked for them to be separated which worked well. We didn't want them reliant on each other.
Eventually towards the top of the school they were streamed and therefore back together for a lot of lessons anyway as they are academically very similar. By then they had forged their own paths. Together or apart they are totally fine. They now live on different continents and speak frequently. They are similar but very different but are totally there for each other.
Keeping them together might possibly keep them reliant on each other but you know your twins and I'm sure will make the right decision for them.

As a general rule: don't meddle in the school's decisions, they know what they're doing.

Do you mean you want them in the same form or in the same academic set? The latter will surely be driven by academic assessment.

In terms of forms, I recognise you're thinking about what's best for your kids but, with respect, there will be many other kids who will also be shy and introverted on their own, and don't have the option of a family member with them. The school may want to level the playing field, "nervous and alone" is a pretty common and character building experience.

Some schools do separate “teaching groups” to form groups. So they could end up in the same form for registration etc but be in different teaching groups.

I have twins and they were split out of the same class at primary school. It set them up nicely for secondary and most people, including teachers didn’t even realise they were siblings, let alone twins despite having an uncommon surname.
They were occasionally in the same class in a subject at secondary but not often. I believe it’s not a good idea to have twins in the same form, especially if identical. They have to be seen as individuals and not a pair. You are also feeding this belief with your own issue.

I think you really need to prep them appropriately.

Even if they're in the same form for 15 minutes a day they may well be in different lessons so apart the rest of the day

Some children need to decide, with stepped support, when and how to start uncoupling, especially when there is an element of needing each other for confidence.

Speak to the form teacher, asking about inclusive learning support. Then work with the twins and them to ensure a suitable plan (short-term, medium term and long-term).

Don't worry about all of the advice we, as a collective, are giving you.

You are the expert on your children as twins and individuals, and you have to do what's best for them in a measured and positive way.

Like the school don’t have enough to do

OP- you are fuelling the anxiety from your own beliefs.

The thing is, schools don’t have the manpower for inclusive learning support.

If the children or their parents think they should ‘start uncoupling’ then that should begin at home where they are for one hundred and seventy something days a year No school is going to spend time uncoupling some twins who choose to share a bedroom and have spent only a few hours apart in eleven years when they have children with absolutely massive problems.