....to think that retiring away from the city is bonkers?

[NewGrandmummy]

Inspired by another thread about moving away from London with small children, I wonder if anyone else has done as I have done, and actually moved back to London (or another major city) as preparation for retirement?

I truly don't understand the 'let's retire to the seaside/a rural smallholding/a tiny village' that seems to be in so many older people's minds. Why do that at a time of life when you will most likely have to give up driving at some point? How will you get to the supermarket/doctor/dentist/hospital/cinema/pub etc?

I'd love to hear from those who've moved out of London/a city for retirement and regretted it, or those who, like me, are moving towards civilisation (rather than away from it) as they get older.

I've retired now and am staying in the village where I've lived for the last 34 years, where my children were born and grew up and where I have friends.

I've retired, not died. I can always move again to somewhere more built up if the rural location doesn't suit me in ten, twenty years. Yes, it will be harder, but living in a city for the next twenty years would be hard for me.

So retirement doesn't have to mean 'until I die'. People move into rural locations while they are fit and active but have more time, so they can relax in a quieter environment with a slower pace of life, particularly if they've had a hectic working life. When it no longer works for them, they can move again.

YANBU OP.

I live in the suburbs of a city and I am definitely a town mouse. I agree with what you say and older people can struggle to get around. A PP mentioned neighbours as it is ‘that sort of place’ but neighbours can be busy working it dealing with their own family issues.

My mum always wanted to to retire to the Lake District but since my dad died has seen how difficult that would be on her own, miles away from family.

I love visiting the Lakes and rural north Wales but find those places pretty bleak in the winter.

I have conversations about this. I don't live in London but in a smaller city, and our conversations are about moving to a small seaside town or a village. I would never do that, it would make me feel really isolated and take me away from better transport networks - I go to London quite often and one of my children lives there so no plans to stop. I also want everything at hand so I can be spontaneous and not have to drive or spend ages getting public transport just to go to the theatre.I like to have a lot of people around.

I’ve often thought it would be great to retire to London. However there are plenty of places like where we live - a rural village surrounded by farmland/woodland/countryside that’s walkable or a 10 min bus/car ride to the nearest city or larger town.

The choice is not London or the absolute sticks!

I'm a long way from 80 and if going out to supper means a 3 mile walk home in a high vis jacket and a head torch i know of no one who would bother going out- including me. Much of this thread make is sound like the only retirement options are the centre of London and the middle of nowhere- there are plenty of small and medium sized towns and some big villages which supply the best of both world- no 3 mile hike in high vis and headtorch required.

prefer living away from shitty urban areas like London

lol

2 months ago my mum was swimming 3km a week, 6 weeks ago my parents travelled 5 hours on 3 different trains to visit my brother and his family. Now my mum can hardly walk 25m, has been to numerous hospital appointments and one a&e visit in the last 3 weeks (and is actually too frail to use the excellent local bus network). And this is due to an illness not an accident.

Living where they do means my dad can nip out most days to the supermarket for a paper and even to the local leisure centre when I go round and not be gone long.

I think those talking about hardy rural folk who live well then drop dead are blind to the whims of luck. You've no idea what aging will look like, none of us do and it doesn't hurt to consider the realities.

In a lot of areas there may not be taxis - or you are looking at a very expensive fare. It would be £40 one way for me to get into town.

Did you even read the last sentence of my post? I said it's great - but you need a plan for when things change!

Your reply to my post is completely different to what I was actually saying.

But retirement can last for decades. My grandparents retired in their late fifties. My geandmother was absolutely fine living very rurally until she was 86. After that we moved her to our city because she needed help due to starting to develop dementia symptoms. She was still very mobile and physically healthy at this point. Should she have spent 25+ years preparing for a potential diagnosis?

I live very rurally - eight miles to the nearest village, two miles to the nearest neighbour, and absolutely no public transport.

We are in our 60's and recently retired, and find ourselves increasingly isolated. While I could never live in a town or city, as I have never done so, we are definitely considering a move to the edge of a village, a village that has services and transport links to anywhere we may need to go.

I think rural living is ideal for middle aged people with younger families, but for teenagers, young adults and older people, somewhere with more accessible services is better.

The realities are that anyone at any age can suffer a major health problem. No one lives their lives for that event. The risk goes up as you get older but that doesn’t mean there is a fixed age to give up

people who live the life they love are more likely to live a healthy one - and at least a happy one.

i mean I wouldn’t go full rural but I can at least understand those who do. Better than I can understand anyone wanting to live in a city. That I just accept as a fact.

i also suspect that once people get to the frail stage no matter where they are will be a problem

The reply you quoted was to my post, and it was taken out of context. I never said anyone had to be miserable their whole life, just that they need to think further into the future and have a plan about what they might do when they get older. That doesn't mean they have to dwell about impending doom for decades - having a plan in place, which you can then forget about, is always useful. My other grandparents now, for example, already have wills, POAs, and plans for where they will live when things get difficult. We all sat down and had the conversation years ago, and luckily they're in their late 80s and still independent. But everyone has the security of knowing what will happen when and if the time comes.

Life was very, very difficult and lonely for my grandad near the end. He had vascular dementia and severe mobility issues. My grandma had to cope with him largely alone because everyone was miles away. It was heartbreaking, and there was very little we could do as we all had jobs and families, and while we visited when we could, it just wasn't enough. We couldn't even phone and speak to him because he didn't have a clue what was going on.

So for the poster to suggest that I wanted him to be miserable his whole life is completely unfair and has actually made me quite upset. I'm glad he got his retirement! But that doesn't escape from the fact that things are very difficult later on.

No problem asking 😃

I moved to the East Kent coast and love it. I had always wanted to live by the sea and I did know this part of the world

I did have one very good friend and her family down here. That helped a lot in finding the right area to live. I was also conscious that I couldn’t monopolise her time so I made sure I joined things to create my own social life

We coulnd't afford London to retire - but I think it would have benefits.

We'll likely want what we've got now - on outskirts of small to large city with good transport links to wider area and rest of country with GP and shops walkable to.

IL are in a rural town who transport been improving in last decade - they get taxi or lift from friedns as they do not drive. There can by bus or train get to two biggish cities nearby and lots open space as well. They can get shopping and to GP and bank dentist. Though some hospital appointments can still be akward.

Dmum is now alone in now largeish village with few services - fine as she drive and can order on internte but recent fall meant she couldn't drive for a while and taxi and uber and even bus seemed to much for her. Plus my expericne of taxis there are they arre three times price of where I am for same distances and much less reliable. There is a corner shop and she can get supermarket delivers and even chemiest - she has finally moved to GP in village - though half time they try and give appointments to other location anyway.

I agree with OP. I remember many friends’ parents retiring to the countryside from London. It was great until one of them died or either/both became ill or immobile. My friends then seemed to get endless plaintive calls and spend every weekend doing flying visits to sort them out. Many of my fellow londoners want to stay here for the free (and fabulous) transport and facilities.

"I think those talking about hardy rural folk who live well then drop dead are blind to the whims of luck. You've no idea what aging will look like, none of us do and it doesn't hurt to consider the realities."

true but as you say, you have no idea what that reality will be.

I agree. I’m a city bird. My dream retirement is a little flat in a gorgeous (or at least not grimy) part of London where I can pop out for coffee, arts, book clubs, exciting restaurants and be surrounded by people. I can visit the countryside if I need it! I cannot imagine living there and just going on the same old walks year in year out..

YANBU. I live in a rural area well known for its high % elderly population.

They move to too-big houses up steep winding drives with lots of stairs. Ambulances constantly called out as they fall around all over the place, eventually they’re persuaded to make some ‘adaptations’ so install a wet room and stairlift. But ultimately end up sat watching TV as there’s nothing within short walking distance and the terrain is dangerous for infirm people. The house and garden falls into disrepair, they decline faster as they’re isolated and don’t see anyone or do anything. When they die the house is hard to sell as it’s such a wreck. They all seem reluctant to throw money at carers/gardeners though, despite spending £££ on the house.

I’m moving to a small bungalow in the middle of the village when I’m 60. You can laugh but my grandmother did this and now she’s in her 80s, she has 20+ years of lovely memories in her home and she doesn’t need to move for any reason.

this totally

generalisation much?

I have found with IL and parents they all assumed they would move if needed - but now when it increasingly clear it would be a good idea - IL it's house layout rather than location - they can not seem to face it.

Though a neigbhour of parents in village moved at 80 - few years after losing her husand and despite very active social life in village. Took a while to sort and a lot of family support but she moved to a retriment flat near one child and GC and easier commute to another. However it was a huge effort - needed a lot of support form kids and her siblings and she nearly backed out a few times.

I think sometimes you just have to accept that others peoples choices and desires and happiness may mean things may be harder later

that doesn’t mean they made the wrong choice

and everyone - even if you are 20 - should have a will and PoA in place

I think we'd only go down to a town if it was by the seaside with decent transport links to rest of country - mainly as walking along beaches in all weathers is more interesting than same inland walks every year.

'Towards civilisation'!! Amusing take on things.

Your other points are valid.