....to think that retiring away from the city is bonkers?

[NewGrandmummy]

Inspired by another thread about moving away from London with small children, I wonder if anyone else has done as I have done, and actually moved back to London (or another major city) as preparation for retirement?

I truly don't understand the 'let's retire to the seaside/a rural smallholding/a tiny village' that seems to be in so many older people's minds. Why do that at a time of life when you will most likely have to give up driving at some point? How will you get to the supermarket/doctor/dentist/hospital/cinema/pub etc?

I'd love to hear from those who've moved out of London/a city for retirement and regretted it, or those who, like me, are moving towards civilisation (rather than away from it) as they get older.

Also someone retired may have 20 years of healthy life left - and time at last to live their dreams even if they have to move again later or it gets too much

dreams matter and very few people live their dreams whilst working

Im in a village. My GP is a 10 minute walk away, an hourly bus stop at the end of the road, a train station on a dud line 3 minute walk away and 2 pubs. Yet we are 15 minutes from steep hills and 10 minutes from a great theatre. We did consider pretty villages with limited facilities but as my son said-when you’ve been for a walk, what is there to do? As we are retired now, I like our proximity to transport and healthcare which we may need as we age. So people have these things out of London-but there is no doubt that London has the better hospitals and a far richer cultural experience. Of O had the money, I’d love a flat in the centre.

The problem is, these days, retirement happens when the majority of people are still relatively fit and healthy. They don't think about when they need lots of help, because it seems so abstract to them at that time. You're right, it is short sighted to move somewhere remote, particularly away from family.

My grandad did exactly this - he moved to South Wales when he retired at 50, and had several really happy decades there - but then, he was unwell, and lived to 96, and it was such a struggle for him because we were all scattered across England. We live near Manchester which is about a 5 hour drive to where he is, so absolutely no way we're getting there in an emergency. Other family members were even further away.

It is short sighted to move somewhere that far away from everything and everyone. Great now, but you must have another plan in place for when long country walks and independence just aren't possible anymore.

I think whenever and wherever anyone moves to they need to do their due diligence and be prepared to move again if they need to. For myself I would never enjoy living in a city again EVER, but probs won't move to be as rural as I would like.
I don't belive in forever homes and never have.

I moved out of london with my two kids - theyre in a really good school here and we moved for that. Takes us about 50 mins to get into London. Busses are frequent. We love it here.

I get what you mean. It's not that it has to be London or even a city. But not the middle of no where!

I live on a cattle farm in rural Ireland. Beautiful place. My ILs are well into the 70s and I suspect MIL will soon have to stop driving. But they have lots of family around here to help.

I can't imagine moving somewhere like this to retire. I'd say I will go into town if I can when I get older. I'm in my 30s so who knows what will be in town then. But our local town has a lovely estate which are all very small 2 beds (1 full bedroom, 1 box)

I think the OP is referring to people who move really rurally.. I think she said ‘small holdings and remote villages’ so places with really poor or no transport. The village I grew up in had one bus a week to the local market town and I think it had actually stopped now. I would hate to live anywhere I couldn’t get a bus.

My PIL retired to a coastal area with poor public transport connections. I thought it was the worst idea ever. Their house has a huge yard to look after as well. That was 25 years ago and they love the scenery and lifestyle in their late 80's. My FIL still spends a lot of time digging in the garden despite having a minor stroke earlier this year. He hopes to return to driving, my MIL still drives. Even so MIL says that when they give up their licences they can just catch Ubers. I freely admit that I was wrong and judgemental and I'm so glad they made the choices that they did.

You couldn’t pay me enough money to live in London. My kids are there - but very much doing the London thing until ready to settle-but the novelty is wearing off. They return home with increased frequency, stating the need for ‘clean air and peace’ . There is no amount of theatre, concerts and ‘culture’ that can replace the peace and beauty of the countryside. the time will come when they all return to the West Country .
I have fabulous neighbours, we socialise together. My village has a wonderful amount of clubs and social activities along with a fab pub/restaurant all within walking distance. Ocado and Tesco deliver should we not wish to drive . The medical centre is 5 minutes away by car but GP/nurse still make house calls if unable to get to the surgery . The nearest shop is walking distance. The nearest town 8 miles. LHR is a hour and 20 away Gatwick and Bristol 1hr:30 . Best of all. We are outnumbered by sheep 10/1. Far far better than living in a stinking shit hole like London where few know their neighbours. I will leave here in a box.

Where my parents lived - far west in Wales - there were few buses and only from the main road. The hospital was at best a 45 min drive, even in a car. Longer in a bus, and physical frailty meant getting on one wasn’t possible anyway. Sight issues made online shopping difficult. GP needed a lift or a taxi as it was a 20 min drive. No shops which didn’t need a lift or a taxi.
The thread isn’t specifically abput London anyway, though everyone seems to be trying to make it so.

Both my parents got care in london hospitals and i was not impressed although full disclosure, this was a while ago. Honestly I couldn't give a flying fart about "cultural experience".

Why don’t you just book your space in general graveyard when you are born! Your grandad had decades of happy life but you think he shouldn’t have done that because it make things harder now ?

He should have lived in misery all his life - utterly logical

agree about London. I was born and brought up there. Moved out when i married and never missed it.

This. Its like "death cleaning" well fuck that too.

Well, no. But maybe he could have had a plan for what to do as frailty increased.

So many Mumsnetters seem to think London and “the city” are synonymous. There are some lovely smaller cities, Worcester, Chester, Chichester, Exeter, Perth, where one could have a great quality of life.

Couldn’t agree more. My parents downsized and moved into a smaller flat in London zone 3 from the rural northwest of England. They’re having a fantastic time. Cheap theatre tickets in the middle of a work day, restaurants, museums, bridge clubs, walking clubs. They’re 30 mins on a tube from both me and my brother and see the grandchildren lots.

Mum wishes they’d have moved sooner.

A lot of people seem to be jumping on the London thing but I don’t think that’s what OP intended the thread to be about. Would have been better not mentioning London. I just wish my parents would consider moving closer to where there is a hospital. Data suggests they would be waiting an hour for an ambulance so if something bad happens they won’t stand much chance.

I live rurally, and by that I mean; no shop and a bus once a week.
We have very poor health services with an awful GP surgery, and long wait times for any referrals. In contrast my family living in London has excellent healthcare and if they have a referral to see a specialist they will wait weeks rather than years and then are seen in some of the best hospitals in the UK. Elderly neighbours have been unable to access care in their homes as care workers/providers are unable to spend additional time and money on travelling to more remote locations. Why would they, when there is plenty of work in the towns? This means they have had to move into care homes earlier or rely on family.
I have to drive to access shops, activities and culture. I do plan on moving somewhere more urban eventually. I am not sure about London, I think a small city or large town may be the better option for me.
There are a number of retirement villages built in my area, none of them very accessible, but with care facilities on site. It is interesting to see that the retirement village operators are now choosing to build mainly in urban sites, which presumably is a response to their buyers wanting to live close to amenites.

Tunbridge Wells by any chance?! If so, same!

I think there are a lot of different points between being in London and living in a tent on a mountain top.

I reckon if somebody gets into their '80s becomes Less mobile, longer can drive, they're more likely to move closer to hospital and other services. That leaves about 20 years to live in the tent on the mountain top if they feel like it

YANBU - I've moved to the country to raise children in a sheltered village community environment, but I would probably move back to town for retirement.

If I won the lottery, I'd retire to London, and spend my days visiting the theatre. But more likely, I hope to retire to a small town/suburb, ideally within walking distance to the doctors, a posh gym, a train station, a Co-op, and a cinema. Or at least on a frequent bus route to the above.

I've seen one set of relatives move more and more remote as they age, and they now live a mile from the nearest corner shop, in a location where taxis need to be booked several days in advance and buses are twice per day. One has very limited mobility now and couldn't manage the walk to the bus stop. The other should really give up driving, but if he does they would basically be housebound. In winter, with the short daylight hours, they are really restricted, because he doesn't like driving in the dark.

There are real advantages to the location also, in terms of community, etc. But I think it was a terrible decision, and will drive them into sheltered/nursing accommodation much earlier than they otherwise would, if they'd thought ahead more.

Do you plan on engaging with your thread, OP? Or were you just looking for anecdata?

My dad lives somewhere with poor public transport and far enough away from a city to make taxis a nightmare. He can no longer drive and finds his freedom massively restricted. He can look at lovely fields but it’s a military operation trying to get him to a doctors appointment or even for a look around b and q!

I think it’s important to be close to Shops, GP, pharmacy and good transport links. My retired aunt and uncle moved from the West Midlands to rural Norfolk. Things were great for years until they could no longer drive. They had no local shops at all. When my uncle died my aunt relied heavily on kind neighbours for everything. This would be my worse nightmare. I’d love to move to a bungalow in a village that had everything within walking distance.