....to think that retiring away from the city is bonkers?

[NewGrandmummy]

Inspired by another thread about moving away from London with small children, I wonder if anyone else has done as I have done, and actually moved back to London (or another major city) as preparation for retirement?

I truly don't understand the 'let's retire to the seaside/a rural smallholding/a tiny village' that seems to be in so many older people's minds. Why do that at a time of life when you will most likely have to give up driving at some point? How will you get to the supermarket/doctor/dentist/hospital/cinema/pub etc?

I'd love to hear from those who've moved out of London/a city for retirement and regretted it, or those who, like me, are moving towards civilisation (rather than away from it) as they get older.

South east coast

YABU for suggesting that anywhere outside London is isolated and not civilised.

It's probably not sensible to retire anywhere remote, but there are plenty of towns which have a smaller community vibe but still manage to provide decent public transport, medical services, entertainment and anything else an older civilised person could require.

My parents retired to a small village that had a shop, post office, bus. Those things all closed down and it was hard for them. My mum died and my dad moved to the nearest town where he could walk to the shops and cafes it gave him a new lease of life

My in laws moved back to their rural home town after 25 years in London at retirement. They’re in a detached bungalow at the edge of a small town, FIL probably shouldn’t be driving but they won’t do online shopping so he has to as nowhere within walking distance. Local district hospital is winding down services so it’s 90 minutes to the nearest hospital. They can’t get to the beach and countryside anymore as their mobility is so poor. Many friends passed away or suffering similar limited mobility so they rarely see anyone. They are 5-6 hours drive from us which is a real worry for DH. It’s certainly made me think about the future and re-evaluate plans to
move to remote West Cornwall in retirement.

We moved to a small town outside of Manchester to raise our family, as we weren’t making the most of the nightlife etc where we were. We want to live in the city centre when we retire, to take advantage of all the bars, shows, gigs etc that we haven’t been to in the last decade or so! Yes, we can get in and back easily, but the “friction” involved in doing so means we don’t do it often.

I’d quite like to live in a few different cities in retirement (including London).

MIL lives in a lovely town, has all she needs in theory but there is hardly any public transport (we’re talking a few buses a day) and scant taxi service. Once she can no longer drive I think she will feel quite isolated - she does a lot at activities/has friends in nearby villages.

We live in a small town in South Norfolk. There is no public transport. No buses. No taxis unless you book weeks in advance. I love it here - we moved here from London 15 years ago but it was definitely a culture shock 😁

You do realise that public transport exists outside of cities?

I moved from London where I lived for 30 years to a small seaside town in Kent. I have a bus stop with regular service 5 minutes from my house and I can get direct trains to London if needed.

I love living by the sea again ( I was born is a different seaside town) and I am enjoying a much slower and healthier pace of life with less stress and friendlier people. There is plenty to do where I am and I can access bigger towns like Canterbury with a direct bus or a train journey. I have two supermarkets 10 minutes from my house and a great GP.

Leaving a big city does not mean you end up living in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and no transport or facilities.

I certainly don't miss London' s crowds, noise and antisocial behaviour and I can easily travel back if I want to access an exhibition or event there as we have direct trains that will get you into the city in an hour and a half.

Our town is full of DFLs anyway...

I think it is really interesting that no-one has mentioned suburbia. We don't have to choose city or country when the 'burbs give us both!

I live 20 mins by train outside of Manchester. We have great schools, community and public services. I'm friendly with people in my immediate local area through volunteering and kids activities. I can't think of a single thing I can't do or get hold of (huge benefit of the increased diversity of people in my area)

My parents also live here, they're in their late 70s and don't drive. They can walk to everything they need or if it's hospital/big shop the buses are free (Thanks Andy Burnham). My Mum knows everyone. Her daily walk to the shops takes ages because she stops and chats. My Dad isn't so mobile but he meets my son off the school bus as it's just outside their door.

I have fields and woods in walking distance, proper big ancient woodlands, and also a nice John Lewis with cafe. Probably totally outed myself there but it is nice to have. If I drive for 20-30 minutes south-east, I'm in the Peak District. Nowhere to park but it's very pretty.

Anyway, I think suburbia is the best place to be retired, and a really nice place to live.

I read a really interesting article about this last year and it's changed my mind on how I view retirement tbh. It makes much more sense to move to a large town with good transport links etc than to a quiet seaside place. When we holidayed in Somerset earlier this year there were no pavements and just fast country roads to walk on. One guy provided taxi service for a large area and this was obviously expensive. Not all coastal/countryside places offer things like uber eats or even home delivery for a supermarket shop. I think older people need to research very careful before moving. Is there a good local shop selling essentials? A post office? A good doctors and chemist? The article I read was written by a retired couple and they talked about how wonderful they were finding it being able to go to the cinema and theatre regularly and easily and how there were cheap and frequent buses. It's definitely food for thought (I'm 51).

I'd say it doesn't need to be as binary as that.

I live in a seaside town but we've got great public transport into a nearby major city (complete with hospital, major sports stadium, theatres, museums, shops etc). It's a town not a village in the middle of nowhere so people can walk to or wheel to or cycle to all sorts of really normal amenieties within a reasonable distance (shops, doctors, places of worship, school, cafes, restaurants, leisure centres, sports clubs, community centres, parks). And the nearby villages are also accessible by bus.

I think it's also about who your community is and how connected you are. I know people who have lived in London who were lonely and had nowhere near the amount of connections and support as they'd have had in my community. Not that it's not possible to be connected in London, it's just that people aren't totally isolated everywhere except for London.

We are all different types. My parents are very content in a rural setting. None of our family are particularly social. My ideal time is spent on my own
I hate parties, hobby clubs etc.. I like peace quiet and have 3 close friends who know me inside out and have been a blessing in my life.
My parents are very content with their life. But we are also understanding that others prefer a different lifestyle. It takes all sorts....!

Isn’t it what you are used to? I am a Londoner and know I couldn’t live very rurally as I would miss what I am used to in London but I love visiting places like Northumberland or Dorset and can see what beautiful places they are to live.

I have moved very centrally in London back to zone 6 suburbs of London where I was brought up and part of that is a change in circumstances and part of it is I need more space as I get older and am cooking more and want some outside space. I can still do the things I do in central London ( I am actually around more of London now - have fallen in love with Greenwich) but have the green belt 10 minutes walk away and find the garden centre a bit more interesting than I did in my twenties. Plus I now have all the discount stores close. You don’t really see that many older people living in central London, most people live in flats and my building wasn’t accessible at all.

I don’t necessarily plan to retire into a city, but I agree that it’s crazy how many people retire into locations that are completely impractical for older people.

My parents have done it. They’ve moved to suburban estates that only have a corner shop in walking distance. Public transport can’t get them anywhere they regularly go. When they can’t drive any more, they’ll have no life at all.

We’ve deliberately moved to a village that can accommodate a car-free lifestyle when we’re older. It’s big enough to have all the amenities but small enough that we can live walking distance to the centre. My next preference if we moved would be a city for the reasons you said.

I moved from my hometown of London to the North East of England about 7 years ago, so in my early/mid 40s. If I had a pound for everyone who begged me not to, I'd be rich.

I came with my partner as he is from near here. We don't have kids.

I also don't drive, which is the only downside for me, and I am learning. I'm used to stepping out of my door and having the underground, overground, and a range of buses. (in London)

Otherwise I love it here. I don't buy into the "all Londoners are twats and everyone up north is salt of the earth and desperate to help you". No, and no.

Every time I visit London, yes I feel like I'm back home, but also so stunned at how it gets busier every time I go back. How much more can it take?

YANBU we plan to grow old in the city, but willing to change our minds of course if we don't like it. I don't want to be in the middle of nowhere. But that said, there is an in between!

On the flipside of that, I really do think that people from towns and cities underestimate what a big move it can be to go rural and have to depend on their car for everything.

I can understand liking different things but isolation, power cuts, snow, lack of transport can really take its toll if it's not something you get used to over a longer course of time. Especially at a time of life when it could affect you more.

I do worry about my older rural relatives, even those who have always lived there. A bit more than I worry about the city dwellers.

I think this is what people don't always realise. They look forward all their working lives to 'retiring to the country/seaside' but then can end up very isolated once there especially as they grow more frail and maybe don't drive/have to give up driving etc. I live in a large village but near 2 large towns & a small city plus just north of London so it's very easy for me to access buses/trains/motorways etc and loads of things on my doorstep to visit. It's definitely not perfect due to air/noise pollution plus the summer heat and very busy roads/expensive housing but if I move I'll look at a big town/suburbs not a village I think.

I've decided to stay where I am for the foreseeable future purely for being 15 minutes walk from town, bus station and railway and now I'm getting older, about 20 minutes from a major hospital.

As I've got older I've really had to think about being near facilities/transport if I need to stop driving so need shops nearby or have health issues where I would need to attend hospital on a regular basis like my dad ended up having to do. 😟

It’s different priorities… I’ve needed health care for my family for various issues where the best specialist care is in London. No way would I willingly move away and make this less accessible. I don’t think people always realise the gulf between the specialist care available in London compared with other large cities, and then the gulf between specialist care available in large cities and elsewhere. E.g you have oncologists in more rural hospitals who cover multiple different types of cancers, and therefore aren’t actually keeping their knowledge and practice up to date in any particular type.

Well agreed, but the important thing is to be ready to make that move when the time comes or at least have thought about it, rather than let events overtake you. There is a huge difference between being "young old" and "really old old" and I know of cases where people have made lifestyle changes at young old without planning a way back for later in life.

Friends of PILs followed their dream of taking early retirement, selling up and buying a house with some land in rural Italy. Unfortunately neither of them really became properly proficient in Italian so their social life was restricted to a few other ex-pats. The husband began to suffer with arthritis so he couldn't drive and his wife had never been comfortable driving there. He ended up spending most of his time drinking heavily then had a stroke, which he survived but never completely recovered. They eventually sold up, getting less for their Italian property than they had paid for it, and moved back to sheltered accommodation in UK.

Also another couple I heard of who decided in their 60s that van life was for them so they gave up their house and bought a motorhome intending to spend time touring Europe. Which they did but in their late 70s were reduced to living in a layby getting showers in the local leisure centre until the authorities discovered their plight and rehomed them.

I know these two are extreme cases but I do think people should think carefully about moving rurally if they are not used to it. Of course lots of old people live in villages and there might be a community and so on. But many of those have lived there all their life, know everybody in the village and have family nearby. Bit different if you moved there in the last ten years, don't know many people, can no longer drive or one of you is widowed and your family live at the other end of the country.

FWIW my own DM was born and brought up in the small rural village we all lived in. She spent all her married life there. How's, a few years after Dad died, when she was in her early 60s, she moved to a small town a few miles away where she had friends. We were initially surprised and a bit worried that she had done this but it turned out to be a very wise move. She had access to public transport, shops and doctors and a way more active social life

I live rurally and have done for a number of years now having moved out of London. There certainly are drawbacks. However, the positives to country life far outweigh the negatives. Our kids grew up riding, cycling and walking. We are closer to nature. Communities are stronger and culture is still available outside of the M25. In retirement I might look for a slightly smaller garden, but otherwise very mu h more of the same.

I moved to a very small town from a London suburb when I retired.
I value the peace and quiet, the friendly people, the community spirit and the countryside.
I am close to two cities with a lively cultural life, and if I want to go to London, which I do quite regularly, I get the bus and then a train.
When I am decrepit it might not suit me, but too much planning ahead is the thief of present joy.

I will definitely move near a town, cuts out driving, less of a garden and house to try to maintain if you downsize and closer to people and shops

But not in small villages. You can hardly come out of a restaurant at 11.30pm and get the bus back to your village house a few miles away in buckfucknowhere village.

Lived in a large village. It had 2 buses. One at around 10am to take you into town and another to bring you back at 2.30pm

I lived for over 20 years in a very rural coastal village. I loved it. My parents lived in the next one. As they aged and grew frail I saw that it was not pleasant for them - hospital a 45 min bus ride away, it they could t get in the bus due to mobility issues. Everything needed a car, so needed us to drive them there. When one of them went into residential care, it was a 40 min drive from anyone who could visit them. I simply don’t want to live like that or to put that level of responsibility on my DD, so I moved to a small coastal town next to a city (10 mins by taxi or train).
I have hospitals very close for if/when they become a bigger part of my life but also have easy access to theatres, restaurants, beaches etc. I did this in my 50s, and it wasn’t a ‘waiting to get old’ scenario. I wanted to make a life here before I became frail. That I was fit and (with luck) would be for another 20years or more was the point. I think moving anywhere when you are actually elderly and experiencing some difficulties is a mistake.