....to think that retiring away from the city is bonkers?

[NewGrandmummy]

Inspired by another thread about moving away from London with small children, I wonder if anyone else has done as I have done, and actually moved back to London (or another major city) as preparation for retirement?

I truly don't understand the 'let's retire to the seaside/a rural smallholding/a tiny village' that seems to be in so many older people's minds. Why do that at a time of life when you will most likely have to give up driving at some point? How will you get to the supermarket/doctor/dentist/hospital/cinema/pub etc?

I'd love to hear from those who've moved out of London/a city for retirement and regretted it, or those who, like me, are moving towards civilisation (rather than away from it) as they get older.

I agree with you OP. My parents have moved from a big house in the countryside to a city apartment with everything on their doorstep. They are socialising much more and have even made some new friends that are much younger and it seems to be giving them a new lease of life.

There are some very pretty market towns in the UK so you get the best of both worlds. I certainly wouldn't want to live out my life in a city. We're semi rural, near the coast with an elderly demographic, the number of people still driving when they should be hanging up their car keys is frightening.

I’m late 50’s and semi retired. Work 2 days a week in London and spend the rest of the time very remotely- hour round trip to the nearest shop. I’ll spend as much time remotely as long as possible but accept I’ll end up in London. Strong communities in both places helps and is vital.

I think this is true if you’re trying to go all over, mainly by tube and are completely stuck in a wheelchair. I pay a lot of attention of to disabled access and regularly feel it’s not adequate. If you’re just ‘less mobile’ living in an area of London is ideal- most things are accessible - docs, hosp, dentist, good shops, local community events etc. my area is excellent for retired people.

You realise millions of older people live very happily in small towns and rural locations with zero problems? Why on earth would it be 'bonkers'?

What IS bonkers is the total inability of some Mumsnet users to comprehend that different people like different things and there's nothing fucking weird about that.

We have a house in the countryside and also a flat in central London. We often discuss the relative merits of each as we get older (I am 67, DH is 70). I used to think I would want to stay in the house where we raised our family to the very end but lately have wondered whether the flat isn't better so very interested in the points raised in this thread

Lots of regular public transport is a real biggie, access to doctors, dentist, supermarkets, library, social spaces etc. We lived in a high(ish) area and the public transport was abysmal, you had to be home before 6pm!. We have moved to a country town with good transport and all the necessities and niceties of life. We can go the theatre in a city for an evening performance and still get home. Life is to be lived not slept away in a sleepy village/country area.

But there are some practicalities to be considered if you are thinking of retiring to a rural area if you wish to be well provided for in your old age. No doubt about that.

I agree, I moved rurally temporarily for 3 years to avoid nursery fees in my expensive area and to spend time with a much awaited ivf child, and I'd never move rurally again in retirement. Its a shock to lose your community, be that close friends, colleagues or just those that people your life, especially in retirement I'd imagine. It sounds idyllic to retire to the seaside for example but the reality is most people need people and its hard to make friendships as a newcomer and if you can't access places.

Im not a countryside person.
I lived in sticks once it lasted 9 months i hated it, i like a town or city where i can walk to everything.

And if you retire rurally with your spouse and are unexpectedly widowed it could be harder still.

In retirement, my parent's friends moved from a large house in a town back to a flat the heart of London (where the woman had grown up), as they loved the buzz and being able to walk to loads of interesting places. Worked well for them.

I retired and (with deliberate planning and an eye on the future) moved to the town centre of where I live. Shops, doctor, dentist, post office etc are 2 minutes walk. I'm single, and it's perfect for me. I know half a dozen couples my age who retired to a "dream home" in the country. Their homes are truly lovely, and in beautiful settings. But some are already starting to regret their decisions. Driving is essential: public transport exists, but means your day requires a lot of planning. Night out? Gotta drive. Forgot to get milk? Wait till tomorrow etc. Lots of other issues with living so remotely, more so as they get older.
I try to bite my lip and not say "I told you so".

Like another PP I live near a small market town which is not far from a larger seaside town which has the obligatory three theatres and theatres in nearby seaside towns.

I've never lived in a big city mainly been semi rural all my life so perhaps it's different for me.

I did fancy living in London for a few years, doing all the sights etc but it never happened. Don't fancy it at all now

Where is this perfect town?!

I wouldn’t retire rurally but we will probably move again and further from the city. It’s easier than when I was a child living rurally.

But we you factor in distance to health services and other facilities plus work out the cost of getting Ubers and taxis.

The place I really like has a minor injuries unit and the major hospital is 25 minutes away if you are driving as a member of the public. Where I grew up it so remote you had to have a helicopter to take you to the major hospital or you were dying. It’s a small market town, no fast train line so a bit cheaper.

People don’t like incomers where I grew up. It’s a beautiful but shit place to live in winter. House prices are mental because of an influx of Londoners and others who can now WFH plus always had a lot of second homes.

My grandparents decided to live the dream by moving from Birmingham to coastal Suffolk when they retired. They didn't know anyone there, but had been on holiday regularly. There were very few bus services and while there were shops in the nearest village, they were either a 25 minute walk or a drive.

Grandad had a heart attack 8 months after the move and never really recovered so became totally housebound. When he died shortly afterwards Granny went straight back to Birmingham.

I think living rurally can work if you have a close community around you (and genuinely close, not just relying on neighbours to help because they're there) and there is good public transport and groceries either for delivery or a short walk away. Ideally a Dr's surgery as well. But moving somewhere new where you don't know anyone and you're totally reliant on a car is a very brave choice in later retirement.

I live in the middle of nowhere, my parents moved out of London to a village nearby. They are 5 minutes away from us, but have a GPs surgery, shops and a bus service within an easy walk.

I am of retirement age but we are both fit and well and aren't planning to move anywhere for a good while yet. I cannot imagine ever wanting to go back and live in London, unless it was to be near my son and family.

.....and those 60+ retirees on Escape to the Country who want acres of garden. Mad as brushes.

There is a world between away form the city and utterly rural

getting away has improved my health no end - the pollution is a problem for me

and the noise and people

its 10 mins walk to the doctors and 20mins to a supermarket which delivers locally and buses exist

Retirement will hopefully be long, it’s important to live where you’ll be happiest. My parents are in the 90s and live in a village, because that’s the living environment they feel happiest in - they enjoy peaceful surrounding and village-living brings them joy. Yes they’ll no longer be able to drive someday, and they already use taxis when going out after dark, but every living situation has its upsides and downsides and they’re happy to accommodate these in order to live somewhere they enjoy. It’s a small village but not massively rural though - only 15 min drive to the nearest city.

And complain that the kitchen isn’t big enough even though it is huge.

There should be equivalent programme for people who want to move back to urban living (not necessarily big city). It would be more relatable.

The seaside is maybe questionable - plenty of cities and large towns on the coast! But "a rural smallholding/a tiny village" then yes it definitely does raise questions. Maybe people have rose-tinted views of what retiring to "the countryside" is like and how it would be marvellous to have space and fields all around and no noisy neighbours. Until they realise how reliant on having a car they would be if they're truly out in the sticks, half a mile up a farm track from the closest B-road that gets impassable when it's icy or snowy and is hairy to drive down in the dark if you're not used to country roads.

If you're truly rural in anything other than a large village then once you can't drive you can't pop to a shop for bread and milk, go out to post a letter, get to a pub or a leisure centre or even a local coffee morning. Thinking of a rural area I've visited a good few times, in a tiny village all they have is a village hall and a postbox. There's no pavements to get between the cottages and those services either! Over one and a half miles to the closest "big village" with a pub. It's certainly not where I'd choose to live.

Where do you live, it sounds perfect?

I grew up in this sort of area, and the people who live there don't drop dead on the roads (also nobody wears a high vis).

Most of them are fit as a fiddle and would rather die at home in their lovely area than move away from their community. Maybe there's a bit of cause and effect here, but there isn't a single case of dementia I know of in the area (and I get briefed with everyone's medical data).

Regardless, their houses are worth £££, so people can move if they need to.