To be appalled that parents need to be supported by government to potty train their child

[Wisefishswimpast]

That^^

Why are these parenting fails happening? - not potty trained for starting school, tooth extractions in young children, rising obesity rates….

Is there no accountability?
Why is this happening?

YANBU - parenting standards have declined which is terrible

YABU - this is how things are because….<explanation>

I know there will be exceptions to the above, for example certain health conditions, late maturation of signals between brain and bladder. I am referring to the more widespread rise in these instances.

My DD is 8, had a significant speech delay/ disorder when she was little (2 years intensive SALT).
She was potty trained for poos by 1, and wees by 2 in the day time. Took a bit longer to get her out of nappies at night, but once we worked out a strategy of lifting her and putting on the toilet at our bedtime she came out of nappies althogether at 2.5 I think (we still had to put her on the toilet at 11pm until she was around 5 though).

So I get particularly annoyed when people try and say that you can't potty train until they have the 'language'!!

My DD started playgroup at just turned 2, along with another kid also just 2, both were out of nappies when they started. Both were cloth nappied though.

Hope you have signed the petition to stop the SEND reforms then? School currently don't have the funding because the local authority are refusing to assess him for an EHCP which we are appealing.

About time! That's great news. My son is 3 years on from training now, but they definitely had that advice still last year when the same thread about untrained reception children came out.

Hopefully everyone getting better guidance now will mean children trained earlier and more easily.

Though anecdotally there were no children in nappies in my son's reception class last year or any overweight children. So I do wonder if a lot of this stuff is blown out of proportion.

Part of the issue is that due to waiting lists, timelines and guidance it’s incredibly hard to have a child officially diagnosed with a medical condition (linked to incontinence) or SEN by the age of 4/5.

I know. Though according to some posters it never happened. 🙄

Seeing some posts make me think it was a miracle I managed to potty train my son when I was 19. Looking back I was naive and had no clue and was just winging it. No judgement whatsoever if additional needs or medical problems but I felt it was more hassle changing nappies, dealing with the mess when they pulled them off, out in public and it seemed to be cracked within a week. We did it in the summer when he was 2 and started when he started removing his nappy all the time but I’m sure I was told this was a sign by health visitors and at sure start centres we attended so perhaps it’s an education issue? It is a hassle at the time having to be so observant but we did do it in a summer and he was naked at the bottom in that time

Utterly disgusting levels of 'parenting'.

There is luck sometimes. My daughter refused to sit on a potty for months. Some do it straight away. Definitely some luck involved!

When I was at primary school in 1965, there was a 'Happy Smile' campaign where our parents were asked to sign a card to say that we'd brushed our teeth twice a day for a month.

The reward was a 'Happy Smile' badge.

Sounds like they've switched to Eric's guidance. That's good news.

I think it is overblown to be honest.

I do completely agree but FWIW I’ve had an awful time potty training my DC. They hit every other milestone but we transitioned out of nappies the month they turned 2. By age 3+ were still having daily accidents although were now in underwear. We’re under a paediatrician, have visited the GP and have worked extensively with the Health Visitor. All say it’s nothing to worry about and that my child will just hopefully one day get it, like other children do at a much younger age. The GP even suggested we put DC back in nappies age 3 and a half! No one has had any practical advice and they all recommend against forcing use of the potty or toilet as it can make things worse (suspect some of the issues may be down to anxiety but unsure). They all say it’s also very common. My point of this long rambling post is that it really isn’t just that easy for all children to grasp, even NT children, and even when you try to access help and support, the professionals don’t really have any answers for you.

Obviously not trying at all is different but please be aware that there are parents like myself who desperately don’t want to be washing multiple pairs of dirty pants every day. We would love our children to be like everyone else and not be the one having daily accidents in school. I hate it for everyone involved (my child, the teachers, myself). I worry my child will be bullied but nothing I have done works for them sadly.

I started sitting my DD on a potty at 5 months when she could just sit up. She couldn't crawl or walk away. By the time she was walking she could barely remember anything different.

I agree.

They lobbied massively for it, in combination with the Kindred reports and all the attention they got.

That’s what it took though. National outrage , visibility and a huge charity to get the NHS to change advice. But apparently Jane down the road could just know it was wrong and ignore it and just do some more googling.

I've watched a few videos of educators who are saying children are not responding to their own name, and have to be taught to do that too.

All of the behavioural issues which have now become normalised are a direct, and unequivocal consequence of iPad parenting and the broken food chain.

You can fix all of it pretty much immediately by feeding children fresh food, as unprocessed as possible and completely removing all screens from them until they're 16.

Cue the shrieks of "We can't do that because...."

Few will bother, a lot of the parents are also screen addicts and processed food addicts, and it is honestly quite difficult to achieve being normal and raising your kids as normal, in the new abnormal when abnormal behaviours have become the norm.

Have a medal 🥇

My DC are all 20+ & brushed their teeth at school. I don’t see what is wrong with this? Takes maybe 10 mins out of the school day.

Are people saying the nhs didn't used to give the guidance to wait for signs of readiness?

Hopefully like my daughter they will eventually get it. Took until five before she would go for a poo on the toilet.

Just because your child refused to sit on a potty for months, doesn’t make others lucky because their child sat on a potty. Our potty was in the room for months prior to starting. By which point my little wasn’t anxious about it. That’s not luck, that’s desensitisation and it being natural that the potty was there when it came time to give it a go.
If you feel that’s lucky, then that’s your prerogative. I appreciate people’s hard work and dedication in getting their kids toilet trained.

Tooth extractions and rising obesity is because food ingredients have changed.

Toilet training is anyones guess.

I suppose it could be worse in some areas? Though my child's school has a very mixed intake of lots of demographics so if there weren't kids on nappies in his class it can't really be as big an issue as they say.

Nope all that would happen is that the doctors would receive more requests for medical exemptions.

I cant believe that one person on this thread said they were struggling with potty training and might have to resort to bribery...but even bribery is now OTT...no more having a single chocolate button for sitting on the potty, two for a wee and three for a poo...nope, now parents seem to have to go to the shops and buy a toy if their child has farted in the right direction

There has always been feckless parents. It’s scandalous but it’s always existed.

I’m more appalled that there are publicly funded government campaigns telling men not to rape and sexually harass women. That should be pretty fucking obvious, no?