To think this doesn’t sound “super posh”

[Stayinganontoday]

For context I’m not British born nor raised. I was taking to a good friend of mine, and it came in conversation that I had “paid help” when growing up. I told her that yes, we had a cleaner, a nanny, and a handyman that came with the house (he helped built it!)

She told me that she didn’t realise I came from such a posh background, and although I know I was privileged, that in itself doesn’t make it sound so posh. My husband thinks it doesn’t sound posh per se, and it’s more of a cultural
difference. So what do you all think?

It's only common to have a live in maid in Spain in posh circles! It's certainly not the sort of thing that the average family has.

So the problem on one hand is that OP is being unreasonable not to call herself posh because she ostensibly is, but then if she does suggest that actually yes, she is posh, she’s told that she’s not posh like she thinks she is.

I’m also not British, and the British cultural norms, and attitudes when it comes to class can be very difficult to get your head around. IMO it’s one of the more complicated countries when it comes to class.

As such, it can be interesting topic to talk about and consider.

Do you think my hairdresser friend in the Phillipines is posh? She's got house help.

Hang on, we've had all three of these things. Am I officially "posh"?

It’s a cultural thing . My best friend is from an African country where having a nanny a cleaner and a cooker is not unusual at all , they are paid peanuts .

Ours weren’t paid peanuts though, the gardener was paid £800 a few years ago which was an OK salary.

Fuck me, she's still at it

Tell me I'm posh!!!

😅😅😅

As many have said, it depends upon where. When we lived in other parts of the world the norm was having such services. Moving back to the Uk it wasn't, so purely cultural differences.

Living here and having this extra help you pay a lot more for so would be classed as earning well, not necessarily posh at all.

Someone who hasn't experienced different lifestyles abroad may well think 'super posh' butI don't.

By whose standards, though?

So apt and funny! OP still hasn't said where she lived, can't believe we're reacting to such an inane goad post. I was actually genuinely interested from my own experiences. We're not posh, just lived in countries where a property came with a 'maid' and didn't like it, told her no, come sit and have a cup of tea and chat, we can do the housework.

it’a Triple the average salary of the Philippines (which they keep comparing to) https://www.oysterhr.com/library/average-salary-in-philippines

And also more than triple the salary of the average cleaner in my country… https://www.economia.gob.mx/datamexico/es/profile/occupation/trabajadores-domesticos-de-limpieza-planchadores-y-otros-trabajadores-de-limpieza

There’s nothing goady about it she’s literally just asking a question. Why would she want to be considered posh when posh is usually used as an insult?

Im not using it to be insulting but in the literal sense of having a lot more money than other people yes someone who had Nannie’s, gardeners and maids is considered “posh”.

It dosent matter what country in the world you’re in as mathematically it’s literally impossible for the average person to employ numerous servants. It will only be a small percentage of people who can afford that. No matter where you are.

It'll be Mexico.

I've already said there's probably only the Philippines and India where labour is even more sort cheap.

I think she's hilarious. And still not a posh thing about her 😅😅😅

Also many other countries, especially the colonised ones.

Class is a funny thing. To me, working class, middle class and posh can be interchangeable terms. I consider “middle class” to be as much about culture and taste as money.

No. I’ve already said I don’t think having household help is ‘posh’.

If something easily accessible to the middle classes, it’s not posh.

Posh is contextual. If you weren't raised in Britain it becomes irrelevant. Its nothing to do with posh or not,and everything to do with race or culture. For example in some places all people from one race or culture have help and that's normal for them and all people from another race / culture dont because they work as the help. It's only possible to judge in that context.

No not really. In Dubai many people have home help, Nannie’s, gardeners etc. They use low paid workers (almost slave trade!) and there is nothing posh about it. Many have been left in despair when their families ran back to the uk. Poor people!

Well, the system of cheap, imported domestic labour (kafala) in the UAE was literally introduced to replace slavery, which was only technically abolished (though unenforced) when the Trucial States became the UAE in 1971 and in theory accepted the UN Declaration of Human Rights.

The pearl fishing industry depended almost entirely on slaves, and households typically relied on domestic slaves. Sex slaves were the other main component. Many came from the same places domestic workers come from today. Some were kidnapped, some were tricked to the Gulf under the belief they were going on the Hajj as paid workers, some sold themselves and their children out of poverty.

The detail that always shocks me is that in the 1950s and 60s, when the British were suppressing the slave ships (though they did not enforce a ban on land as it was an ‘internal affair’), slaves, including children, were being imported on airplanes supposedly carrying cargo. In the early days of the UAE oil industry, most of the oil workers were slaves. Freed slaves are still living in the UAE, many working for the same employers. Some were granted Emirati citizenship, others are stateless.

So the exploitation of overseas workers is nothing new.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_Trucial_States

It depends on their wage as to whether I thought it was posh. If it was essentially slavery, then no, I wouldn’t think posh. If they were on good wages, then I would think it.

In the very poor African country that I know well, an expat would be very much frowned on by other expats, if they didn't employ staff. Not for snobbish reasons, but because the least you can do with your privilege there, is provide an income for local people. When I was staying with my friend recently, I was shocked when she said that she employed five people, and my initial reaction was negative. But the context is very different, and her staff really need those jobs.

Did I say it was new? I was replying on a question if having staff in your household was posh, it isn’t.

Where did I say it was new? I responded to the question if it was posh. It isn’t.

Mumsnet is becoming very funny. Everyone is either “posh” or obsessed with the notion of “classy” or claiming to be rich. Meanwhile, in the real world …

Similar pay to people with degrees (lower end of the scale) / mid admin person.