To think this doesn’t sound “super posh”

[Stayinganontoday]

For context I’m not British born nor raised. I was taking to a good friend of mine, and it came in conversation that I had “paid help” when growing up. I told her that yes, we had a cleaner, a nanny, and a handyman that came with the house (he helped built it!)

She told me that she didn’t realise I came from such a posh background, and although I know I was privileged, that in itself doesn’t make it sound so posh. My husband thinks it doesn’t sound posh per se, and it’s more of a cultural
difference. So what do you all think?

I think you’re confusing me with someone else. Of course employing the cheap domestic labour that replaced actual slaves doing the same jobs is not ‘posh’.

You do come across as desperate to be posh OP, that's how it reads to me.

Gangsters/fraudsters/lottery winner/inheritance/payoff/ luck etc can afford all that but it doesn't make them posh.

I say as someone who grew up with similar staff you had. Hard working parents who started young and built up a comfortable lifestyle but not posh at all.

Why does it keep coming up in your circles?

Who said it keeps coming up?

What makes it "posh" is how cushioned you were from the life of Jo Average. Its impossible for it to be widespread to pay 3 lots of "average" salary, (and provide accomodation), for domestic help. As a family, you'd need to earn at least 5 times that, and more likely 10 times. It isnt possible that "most" people earn 5 times average salary.

Its a bit like living in a bubble where you're wealthy enough not to have social interractions with minimum wage/ long term unemployed/ etc due to circles you move in.

And that’s more or less how it works. It’s almost virtually impossible to make friends outside of your social bubble until you to uni (and that’s only if you go to a public one).

dont know why I think this but to explain:- I was on a train in England for some reason, with a friend and we were practising our English accents (we are broad Scottish). We got to Scunthorpe which was a place we never heard of before, and when we did our accent it sounded brilliant! We were able to do it really posh sounding! Like dragged the Thorpe part right out lol so whenever I hear Scunthorpe I have to say it all posh and proper, and in my head it’s a very posh and proper place indeed!!

Why is she coming across as desperate to be posh? Why would she want to be perceived as posh when it’s often used as an insult.

If you grew up with a group of servants you are a minority of the population in every country in the world and I’d say “posh” (and I don’t think it’s anything to beat yourself up about I’m just answering the question) Lottery winners and people who have inherited are idiots if they waste their money on that when they don’t have a consistent stream of income. Their money will soon be gone.
One of them rags to riches gangsters may not be posh but if their kids have grown up with servants and private school then the kids will be. This brings the sopranos to mind 😂😂

I don’t get why people keep saying the op is “desperate” to appear posh. There’s not been a single comment that would make you think that

With your husband and "Actually my fellow country people laugh at me for not considering myself “fresa”....

Enough to post a thread on it. Interesting the points you choose to ignore.

Had also missed this gem:
It’s similar how I say I’m brown but my husband thinks it’s silly as nobody in their right mind would consider me that....

We have different takes, I grew up in a similar sounding situation and to me, OP does seem to think being posh is something grand.

Again, my take, you don't have to agree as much as I don't have to see it your way.

The being “brown” has become an inside joke between my husband and I (same between my fellow country people we call ourselves “prietos en aprietos” at times).

Also to our fellow country people there’s always a lot of memes, satire pages, etc… (just google whitexican) so you’ll understand how those conversations happen all the time between us.

Not necessarily posh.

Definitely wealthy.

The two are not synonymous.

Will someone please tell this poor desperate OP that she's posh.

Just as posh as my hairdresser mate who pays pittance for her house help in the Philippines.

Someone humour her. Anyone?...