To think this doesn’t sound “super posh”

[Stayinganontoday]

For context I’m not British born nor raised. I was taking to a good friend of mine, and it came in conversation that I had “paid help” when growing up. I told her that yes, we had a cleaner, a nanny, and a handyman that came with the house (he helped built it!)

She told me that she didn’t realise I came from such a posh background, and although I know I was privileged, that in itself doesn’t make it sound so posh. My husband thinks it doesn’t sound posh per se, and it’s more of a cultural
difference. So what do you all think?

You sound as though you are seeking absolution from a few British people, who (unlike Julian Fellowes) can very often tell U from non-U!

Each of the countries are very different. For an example, in my social strata listening to regional music was seen crass and of the lower classes whereas from other Latin American people I’ve met, that’s not really the case.

So many of my fellow country people actually prefer to not hang out with other Latin Americans, as we’re very much our own thing.

I was going to say - one is literally professionally known as Posh, so yes 😂

What/where is "LatAm".
I am assuming Latin America but which countries does that cover?
I've never heard the phrase LatAm before (I have heard Latino).

Once you drop fed in the gardener, the servants quarters and presumably all the other staff you didn't mention, you knew perfectly well what you were doing with this thread. And yes, indeed, bragging about your great wealth is not posh.

I think back when you and your friend were kids if say probably super posh. Nowadays - middle class outsource a lot of that (nannies, cleaners, handymen for sure) so I wouldn’t say posh, unless living with you.

Er ok, lovely story.

Makes no difference that across the board you're from somewhere where virtually everyone has multiple helpers round the house.

You're not "posh."

My friend in the Philippines has a driver, a nanny, a cleaner, and a housekeeper/cook. And an annex thing they all live in. She's not that much of a dick to call it "servants quarters."

She was a hairdresser here. She got about £200k inheritance and has now retired over there.

Cultural difference

I think it depends on the context. My mother was friends with a woman who lived in Tangier who had a housekeeper and cook as well as a gardener & chauffeur. In the 80s, there were still a lot of Americans & Europeans living like Colonialists who employed native Moroccans for the equivalence of a pittance.

Mexico is another country that I've experience this with retired Americans & Canadians. Help is cheap.

Respectfully, I used to hear the same thing from South Africans when their servants were still living under the pass laws in the eighties.

What the amount of hired help you had in your childhood suggests to me that you lived somewhere where domestic labour was cheap and/on imported, and, either way, that you were privileged in a situation where there was considerable poverty and inequality.

Actually I was curious about the stat, and apparently only 2.3million people work as domestic help, which in a country of like 120 million it’s not a lot (according to the same study 4-5% of the total households). That’s very different from virtually everyone. It also shows I lived in an echo chamber because I did think it was way more common.

https://www.gob.mx/indesol/prensa/en-mexico-2-3-de-personas-se-dedican-al-trabajo-del-hogar-caceh?idiom=es

Lol, my husband is Indian (his family still live there).
When I met him they had a cook, a cleaner/help and a driver. I thought they must be loaded 😅.
Turns out it's pretty normal for a middle class family.

I have ZERO obligation to still financially support the gardener, but I still do, and we don’t have segregation so you’re comparing apples with oranges.

No! She's posh, please tell her she's posh, she desperately wants to be

of course you are absolutely right and my hairdresser friend in an impoverished country has the same staff now

Aaand there we go. The true voice of privilege surrounded by poverty.

He’s not poor though, he’s the closest thing to my grandfather, I would do the same for him if I wanted him to have some extra cash beyond the private and the state pension (because he gets both). It’s a token of my appreciation because I can’t be there with him, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.

It’s a common abbreviation of Latin America https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/latam

It includes 20 countries (although some might include Haiti and some might not). Latino is any person who comes from that region (again in theory!) I’ve met Italians and French people who called themselves Latinos as they speak a Latin/Romance language.

I wouldn’t say this is posh either. I definitely don’t consider my family posh and we had a cleaner, nanny, gardener. My parents are now retired in their 70s and still have a cleaner and a gardener! We have a gardener and I’d love a cleaner but can’t find one where we live 🤣 I think if you have two working parents (or a single parent who is working!) it’s normal to have some sort of paid help with some services. Who the hell can manage all of those things well plus work full time and more?!? Certainly not me… I’d love more hours in the day but there simply isn’t and there isn’t enough time.

Went to visit a friend from uni in their home country to discover that the family had an additional private swimming pool on the estate for the staff to use. Now that did seem a wee bit posh!

I mean it can't really depend where you're from because in any society where there is paid help then the people who employ the paid help are obviously rich/posh/privileged or whatever. I'm fairly sure the paid help don't have their own paid help.

Most people? Do you honestly think that two people earning minimum wage can afford cleaners or gardeners? That's a hell of a lot of people.

Growing up we had a maid/chef/security/gardeners/laundry man/driver and all the people in my parents' circle of friends had similar. All poorly paid as this was in Africa. Pay is better now but dealing and managing this many people is not for me so I am grateful for my much simpler set up in London.

Sounds quite posh to me even if you’re from abroad you must have been well off in your home country.

Not that it matters or is a bad thing to dwell on and beat yourself up over.

No it’s not, you have to be quite well off to hire maids, Nannie’s and gardeners etc no matter where in the world you are. After all said maids don’t have their own maids.

Im failing to see why what country it is changes this.

Anyway while it IS posh I don’t think anyone should sit stewing in guilt over how “privileged” they were as a child. Life’s too short for that shit

Are you British? What country are you from?