To think this doesn’t sound “super posh”

[Stayinganontoday]

For context I’m not British born nor raised. I was taking to a good friend of mine, and it came in conversation that I had “paid help” when growing up. I told her that yes, we had a cleaner, a nanny, and a handyman that came with the house (he helped built it!)

She told me that she didn’t realise I came from such a posh background, and although I know I was privileged, that in itself doesn’t make it sound so posh. My husband thinks it doesn’t sound posh per se, and it’s more of a cultural
difference. So what do you all think?

Except it's predominantly people that have moved to the UK that have been commenting about their home country. 🤷‍♀️

People can be out of touch without realising it, they grow up in an echo chamber of wealthy people and they think it’s the norm when it’s not.

Anyway nothing to beat yourself up about or feel ashamed but it’s just factually true. You’re posh everywhere if you’re affording that

Cultural difference. If I lived in somewhere like India I would probably have paid help, as the proportional cost is much lower, and it would be considered odd and selfish NOT to give employment to others if I could afford to do so. In the UK I used to have a cleaner once weekly when I was working full-time with kids at home.

Posh would be having a full staff, so I could have zero domestic responsibility. It's part of my Euromillions fantasy plan......

Exactly that.

I get that in your culture it might not have been, but household staff with their own quarters really is exceptionally unusual here and yes, considered posh.

Having an academic as a mother back then and a lawyer father with house staff makes you posh.

Basically, imagine if you were in Malory Towers.. would you have been able to afford to go? Would the children there have considered you posh? Then you’re posh.

If Indian or South African, this is the norm. If European, I’d say posh.

She is right, someone who has never worked would have been considered underclass in old money. The class system is different these days.

It would be posh when I was a child in the UK.
I had relatives who moved to an African country in the 1970s and they had a full time help. He did all the ironing and cleaning etc. they didn’t have a nanny but my aunt didn’t work.
That was totally normal.

Also in Dubai it is normal. I know people who have cleaners and a nanny. They don’t do a single bit of housework.

Actually the girl guessed she was middle class. But there you go.

One more time, louder for those at the back 😁😁

But that’s case in point though, if someone from a wealthy country moves to a poor country their money goes infinitely further.
The vast majority of said African nation probably didn’t have a full time help

For me a "nanny" equals pretty posh, yes.

Nobody I knew had a nanny when I grew up, and very few now. Childminder/nursery/au pair/babysitter, yes. Nanny, no.
And I live in a very affluent village where most of my friends have cleaners and about half sent kids to private school, grew up less posh, but still middle class (parents were teachers).

Well it does sound posh in a uk cultural context. Obviously it’s not in your culture, but your British friend who’ll have come from a British reference point, so unless you explained the cultural context how would she know?

But you were in the UK...

Where it would have been seen as unusual/well off

In my case, the staff were paid by my Dad’s company. It was considered a necessary part of upholding the company’s social status. Relative to our staff there, we were, I suppose, ‘posh’. But honestly, values were hugely different in the 60s. Furthermore, at that time, it was considered a privilege to work for a European family. Before oil, there was widespread poverty in the Middle East, and the wages paid by foreigners could lift a whole extended family out of poverty.

You know full well that's 'super posh' and extremely privileged.

It might have been more common where you grew up, but it was still very privileged because clearly, not everyone had paid help. I mean, your staff didn't have paid help, or even own their own homes, so you were massively privileged compared to people like them even in your home country.

I'm sure there were people a lot richer than you, but there were also people a damn sight poorer.

By the way, treating your staff 'like family' and seeing your nanny as another grandmother doesn't make you any less privileged and posh. It's nice that you had a good relationship with your employees, but they were still employees and it was only your privileged socioeconomic background that enabled you to employ them.

Not sure why you wouldn't just acknowledge this? You were super privileged in terms of your living situation, and that's fine. You don't have to be ashamed of it or pretend it was something it wasn't.

Because it isn’t, in her own cultural context. It’s middle class. ‘Posh’ is in another realm entirely.

Throughout the world there’s people who work as maids and then there’s the people that can afford to employ the maids. It dosent matter where you are you are still posh.

But saying that I don’t use posh as an insult and don’t think anyone should stew in guilt over how well off they were as children. But it is just factually true. Seeing as she asked

Insisting it’s different because it was another country is just cope because you see “posh” as a bad thing and don’t want to be associated with it.

It’s not a bad thing or something to feel bad about, people are just answering the question

You also need to look at houses in the UK built pre-1920s.

If you go to any house in the area I grew up in, (mostly Edwardian mock Tudor c.1910) there are often still the boxes with the bells for the average family (4 bed semi's) to call the servants.

I know a 4 bed semi isn't average now but it was definitely an average middle class house until recently.

So live in help was still common in the UK for middle class families in the last century.

But the question is "does it sound posh". I my answer was yes, to me, it does. It might not to different people in a different cultural context, but to most people the OP is likely to speak to here in the UK, including the friend, it sounds posh.

I'm a millionaire.

Am I rich?

Unheard of? What, so the maids and the gardeners have maids and gardeners?

It's not unheard of in the countries referenced, across the whole population; it's just unheard of within a particular income bracket / social circle. Clearly OP grew up in a similar mileu.

In any country, it's a minority of people who have cleaners, nannies etc; it's mathematically impossible for it to be otherwise. The people who have the staff are privileged.

Am I still rich when I reveal that it's actually a million Indonesian Rupiah that I have?

Bout £60.

But I'm rich, right? Because in the UK a millionaire is. And the poorest people in Indonesia don't have £60. Most people there do, but we'll gloss over that because I want to sound special. And certainly no one in the UK would call me rich for the equivalent value here.

I want to be called rich, so I'll remove all context and tell people in the UK I'm a millionaire...

Lol.