To think this doesn’t sound “super posh”

[Stayinganontoday]

For context I’m not British born nor raised. I was taking to a good friend of mine, and it came in conversation that I had “paid help” when growing up. I told her that yes, we had a cleaner, a nanny, and a handyman that came with the house (he helped built it!)

She told me that she didn’t realise I came from such a posh background, and although I know I was privileged, that in itself doesn’t make it sound so posh. My husband thinks it doesn’t sound posh per se, and it’s more of a cultural
difference. So what do you all think?

In Europe growing up with servants has equalled posh since WW1, no one without significant means has had servants since then, having a cleaner or gardener is very common though for middle class people with the means.

Posh for U.K. as it’s really not the norm for your average family. But as you say, cultural differences might have made it feel different.

Posh for U.K. as it’s really not the norm for your average family. But as you say, cultural differences might have made it feel different.

Posh for U.K. as it’s really not the norm for your average family. But as you say, cultural differences might have made it feel different.

It depends doesn’t it?
On whether you come from a family who would have had “staff” or you come from a family who would have been “staff”

Agree. I don't think posh is the correct word. Privilege yes because of the cleaner as well. In certain parts of the world it would be known as a house girl or something. Its all relative.... what did your parents do for a living OP?

I'd assume fairly rich. But knowing you're not from the UK, I also know "hired help" is a lot more common/easily accessible in other parts of the world. In the UK though, most people would assume pretty posh.

Saying that though, both sets of my grandparents (born in the 1920s) had hired help in the form of a cleaner/mothers helper for quite a few years in the 50s/60s, and they weren't posh. They were professional middle class.

This.

My dad was a lawyer and business owner (he had all sorts of businesses throughout the years ranging from clothes manufacturing to hospitality) my DM was/is an academic.

if you tell us where you are from/grew up it would help

Well, often that sort of level of staff means the family employing them are extractive or exploitative. It can depend on country & culture (and politics).

I sometimes think that the power dynamic in cultures or families wherein having full time or especially, "Live In" domestic employees is quite complex.

Presumably, after a few years, the handyman is the only person who understands how to fix the heating or the air conditioning, the cook is the only one who knows where to buy the food at the best price and the nanny is the first person to ask about the children's wellbeing because she is the person who knows them best.

They will be closer to the ground, so to speak and be better able to interact with other trades people outside the home when the family really needs a proper plumber if the boiler really does blow a gasket for example.

On top of this, the housekeeper might be the handyman's wife and the nanny be the gardener's cousin.

It would be, if you were the wealthy family who employed them, like living in a very bizarre small hotel where you were both the owners and the guests at the same time.

Somehow. If you get where I'm coming from.

Is there a reason you're deliberately omitting the country?

In India, Phillipines, Thailand, I mean most of Asia, it's normal to have all the extras because that kind of labour is beyond dirt cheap. Our UK cleaners could afford "staff" on those rates.

I have a feeling you like the idea of being thought of as posh, because if you hide the country it removes all context, and in the UK it would mean wealth. Not class. Wealth.

Here it would be very fucking posh. Yabu

I omit the country because people wouldn’t really have the context, I’m originally from LatAm, and I do
come from a fairly privileged background, but it’s not like the people who worked for us lived in slums or were seen as inferior for some cultural reason beyond social class.

My nanny would famously say “you know, middle
class people like us” so from their own accord they thought of themselves as lower middle class, yet still
middle class.

Yeah South America is in the same category as the above.

You haven't said which country you are (claiming to be) from?

Many countries around the world have 'staff' as you claim/did. It didn't make you posh at all it just meant you weren't poor. They are also treated awfully. I hope you did not treat your 'staff' as slaves like so many do. It's pretty common for them to be described as 'family' but the reality is they are paid a pittance, are on call 24/7 and live in disgusting accommodation.

First of all South America is not the same as LatAm… and just by that you’d know it’s not the same context :/

This makes no sense at all!

Its definitely a culture thing.

In my home country it would be expected that (the equivalent of) lower middle class would have a nanny, cleaner (daily), laundry boy, maybe a driver and quite possibly one or two other employees - not live in except the nanny.
Unfortunately, it would only ever be the nanny that would be live-in because the others wouldn't be considered clean enough to live-in. Unless it was aristocrat level posh with separate servants quarters. Not great, I know, and attitudes have started to change but it'll take a long time to completely change.

Well it didn't before you edited it!

You are delusional or contrite to not believe or understand the privilege you yourself have described, posh is privileged

There is often a conflation between "very wealthy" and "posh".

Given your description, I would certainly assume that you are "very wealthy".

However, these days, "very wealthy" and "posh" are not necessarily always synonymous.

A good example of this; I have been watching a series on Amazon Prime called 'Meet the Owens'. It's about Michael Owen and his family.

For context, Michael Owen was a very successful football player in the late 1990s and 2000s who earned many millions of pounds. After retiring he started a racehorse training stables.

He is a very clear example of somebody who is "very wealthy", but definitely not "posh".

However, many people do still use the term "posh" as shorthand for "very wealthy", especially when very wealthy people demonstrate behaviours (such as employing domestic staff) that, historically, only 'posh' people would have been able to afford to do.

Again, taking the Owens as an example, Michael Owen went to a bog standard comprehensive (as did I) but his children went to public schools. This is another area where 'posh' is used as shorthand for 'very wealthy'.

Privileged and posh are not the same.

I was generalising. But just to clarify, I know you really want to be posh, but sorry to tell you , you're bog standard for any of these...

Unless of course you're from Canouan or Mustique but you're not