To have never gelled with "Essex mums"

[aseryhg]

Me and my husband have lived in Essex for a while now and have always thought of moving away (possibly abroad). We were nearly able to sell our house but it fell through and our daughter started a very good state school here and seems settled but we always talk about moving as soon as we can.

Anyway, I find Essex mums difficult to get along with. The ones i've met through school mostly seem to be obsessed with appearances, labels (kitting their kids out in designer outfits etc), going on holidays in Dubai/UAE (which I find quite soulless and tacky) rather than cultural breaks, they're always eating out rather than cooking/enjoying home made meals.... etc etc they don't seem to have screen limits for their kids (their children all seem to be on tiktoks and posting videos on their tiktoks). It all seems foreign to me. In fact it can't be a coincidence that the few mum friends ive made friends with all aren't from Essex and grew up in different parts of the UK.

Aibu to feel right about not fitting in in Essex!

Oh the irony.

indeed.

People tend to be biased towards the area they come from and sometimes to an extent the area they're living in. People get very defensive. But these are my honest observations and i'm not in the minority as other posters have even said they moved area because of these differences.
I never said ALL Essex women are like this but the traits I describe are more prevalent in them. And im also sure that other perhaps more remote areas of Essex are completely different, I do appreciate that. But I am talking about my particular part.

You’re bitching about others right here and now 😂

🙄

Regarding others as having small minds and being less cultured than you does not mean you are cultured and open minded - it means the opposite.

No it doesn't, as others have said, some people are less cultured than others and it's mainly because they've chosen not to be.

But most aren't, so....

Slagging off other women in a public forum may not be the best way to demonstrate your cultural superiority but I don’t know if you understand that.

I went to boarding school in Essex (school was the epitome of nouveau rich - we were too so 🤷🏾‍♀️) and have worked in various parts of Essex. They are not all the same. The closest to what you describe here is Brentwood (because that's where they film towie) but there are less affluent areas in essex where I am not sure what you have listed is a priority (8 yrs working in Basildon and Grays). We moved as couldn't see ourselves in either of these types of areas. Maybe consider moving too.

I am pointing out what they're like and im not slagging off ALL women!

Maybe read the whole 9 pages then!

If there was a thread stereotyping or bashing any other group of women - Asian, Black, Jewish, Irish, Muslim, Welsh etc - it would be taken down. Why are Essex women still seen as fair game?

Just repeating what they have said so they’re the ones with no class!

Hahaha. I've just come back to your thread OP. You don't even live in Essex but north east London. That's hilarious given you've insulted a whole county you don't live in.

I'm an east Londoner by birth but spent part of my childhood in north Essex and still go back to see family. It has a very different vibe to where you live...along with shit transport, under performing schools and a healthy dose of poverty. Maybe that's more up your street. Get far more house for your money compared to NE London too.

I said ‘other’ women not ‘ALL’ women.

There is a difference between those two words but as a more cultured woman I’m sure you know that.

I found stay at home Buckinghamshire mums quite hard to deal with - there was a level of fussiness and neuroticism that went beyond what I thought was sensible and had time for.
I find the same about my south-west London/Surrey upbringing kinda mums. I tire so easily of them.

I've been in Essex my whole life as my grandparents were from round here, but we moved here six years ago and I much prefer the mothers here... except the ones that OP's talking about. I just don't really get on with the lip filler stereotypical Essex mums of which there are a lot of in my town. The number of aesthetics businesses in the vicinity just proves how popular they are. I'm sure they're fine, but we just don't have much in common to get us started.

You just need to find your people, OP!

sure.

I think that You’re very judgemental and rude, especially as you have stated up thread that their whole aesthetic makes you feel inferior! So you’re coming off a bit “mean girl”

Judging by the other responses here there must be a lot of “dim girls” around!

you’re just as bad!

I completely agree with you op. I moved to Ilford over 40 years ago when Hornchurch a few years layer. It was part of Essex then. It was okay then, just normal people with a London accent
We moved just outside Basildon about 30 years ago. It was awful! We had a nice house but many people were aggressive, starting fights, swearing and picking fights with teachers. Okay, it's not everyone, but there are quite a few who ruin it, so the only way to live is to retreat. I downsized and moved away 25 years ago and never been happier. I have been back and the area has definitely gone further downhill. We call it Estuary Essex. I agree with the poster about misogyny, many men were rude to me, swearing at me if i annoyed them for some reason( standing in their way in a bar, no excuse me please, driving too slow). I remember my children's teachers telling me how they couldn't wait to retire, the abuse they suffered. If you can move, do it.

Still, everyone likes a good froth from time to time - clears the tubes ...

🤣