To have never gelled with "Essex mums"

[aseryhg]

Me and my husband have lived in Essex for a while now and have always thought of moving away (possibly abroad). We were nearly able to sell our house but it fell through and our daughter started a very good state school here and seems settled but we always talk about moving as soon as we can.

Anyway, I find Essex mums difficult to get along with. The ones i've met through school mostly seem to be obsessed with appearances, labels (kitting their kids out in designer outfits etc), going on holidays in Dubai/UAE (which I find quite soulless and tacky) rather than cultural breaks, they're always eating out rather than cooking/enjoying home made meals.... etc etc they don't seem to have screen limits for their kids (their children all seem to be on tiktoks and posting videos on their tiktoks). It all seems foreign to me. In fact it can't be a coincidence that the few mum friends ive made friends with all aren't from Essex and grew up in different parts of the UK.

Aibu to feel right about not fitting in in Essex!

Essex is quite big though.
Wivenhoe mums are probably going to be different from most Jaywick /Clacton mums.

I've lived in Essex most of my adult life, you are incredibly narrow minded, the Essex women I know are intelligent, curious, forthright, genuine and loyal amongst many other positive traits. Also the hilarious thing is hornchurch and upminster, the areas you say you are living in, aren't even Essex! They are both in the LONDON borough of Havering and have been since 1965.

It’s one of those things though, many people living here still class it as Essex or rather see it as Essex. But yes I did know that.

And maybe you’re in a very different part of Essex, like I’ve said I’m sure in other areas it’s not like this. Many previous posters have said Northern Essex is very different.

I went to school in upminster. A very good school.

Yes the schools are considered to be very good as I’ve mentioned.

There's a simple solution you either change your judgemental attitude or you move. Maybe there's a reason you can't get past surface level conversation with people.

nothing to do with being judgemental, I actually find the people here to be very judgemental! Or I don’t fit in, and I wish I could move now but due to school we’re stuck for the foreseeable.

But it's not. You've started thread slagging off 'Essex' when you're talking about somewhere that isn't even in Essex 🤦🏻‍♀️

Jaywick is 'Northern Essex', I'm sure you'd find that very different indeed!

It is pretty much Essex and they’re even thinking of changing it back to Essex!

I lived in Essex for 10 years and don't recognise your experience . I made loads of friends with children and also via work .
I didn't feel they were all as you describe ( looks way ) and wonder what part you are living in ?

Just move- to a London commuter area that has a high percentage of professionals - not that hard to find, but perhaps budget an issue?

I seriously considered living in the part of Essex you describe. I imagine the Essex you describe to be full
of entrepreneurial types, who may like to flash the cash but they work hard for it. I think there’s a bit of snobbery going on. Move to Cambridge? Less Range Rovers but you might feel intellectually inferior?

Yea that’s where I grew up, and budget is an issue. TBH would happily move to Buckinghamshire, Suffolk, Surrey or anywhere that’s commutable. If it weren’t for commuting and work and school we’d be somewhere completely different.

What stopped you from moving here then?

I know exactly what you mean. I lived in Chelmsford for several years and I would say just as it's in the middle of the county, it's in the middle of the north Essex vs TOWIE argument. Definitely recognise the type of woman you're describing @KaleidoscopeSmile .
However, now I live in Surrey, and to be honest there's a fair few like that around here too. Not quite as widespread or intense as the Essex women, but a level of obsession about looks, filler, designers, Dubai, Range Rovers, photo perfect children. Matching 2 piece designer gym wear and fabulous extensions for toddler groups. Seems like hardly anyone here just throws on jeans and a plain t shirt for school run.

Maybe they’ve moved to Surrey from Essex haha

Wasn't Saffron Walden voted happiest/best place to live?

Well you just prove my point about Essex women by your very nasty and ignorant post. Maybe read all the other comments and see that many other posters agree with my stance too.

It’s not nasty and ignorant to explain that unfairly maligning people because of where they come from is an unacceptable thing to do. Your tone is unkind and you have made it very clear that you consider yourself superior so I think insufferable is a very good description for you.

I said most not all and it seems like I’m not the only one with experience of this!

its also ridiculous to make such comments without reading the whole thread.

Don't worry too much. My child (17yo girl) is not into make up, rarely on her phone, doesn't watch Love Island. Parents have much more influence. She's found really nice friends like her at secondary school, a pocket who really want to do well and who the school heavily encourage.

I’m not sure why this is an issue, they’re just people at the school gate. Find other friends.

I was born and bred in Essex - in a town already mentioned on this thread - and live in Essex, and I don't agree with you. I'm delightful and so are all my friends.

That’s good.