To have never gelled with "Essex mums"

[aseryhg]

Me and my husband have lived in Essex for a while now and have always thought of moving away (possibly abroad). We were nearly able to sell our house but it fell through and our daughter started a very good state school here and seems settled but we always talk about moving as soon as we can.

Anyway, I find Essex mums difficult to get along with. The ones i've met through school mostly seem to be obsessed with appearances, labels (kitting their kids out in designer outfits etc), going on holidays in Dubai/UAE (which I find quite soulless and tacky) rather than cultural breaks, they're always eating out rather than cooking/enjoying home made meals.... etc etc they don't seem to have screen limits for their kids (their children all seem to be on tiktoks and posting videos on their tiktoks). It all seems foreign to me. In fact it can't be a coincidence that the few mum friends ive made friends with all aren't from Essex and grew up in different parts of the UK.

Aibu to feel right about not fitting in in Essex!

How old is your daughter? Perhaps a move during primary school wouldn’t disrupt her education.

Yes you are, you explicitly stated exactly that. It’s literally the premise of your post fgs!!

Ok a lot of them are, and it seems even posters who were born and bred there agree with me (before you all start laying into me).

I think there probably is a different vibe linked to some schools. I went to a friend’s child’s birthday party and was quite shocked by how different the girls (aged 10) seemed to be. Much more fashion and brand aware, more makeup, more mobiles, just perhaps a bit more grown up but definitely more image conscious. That’s not going to be the whole county of Essex but the vibe of this group (and presumably the school) was very different to my own child’s.

yes exactly that!

Move to North Essex, close to Suffolk and I assure you the Mums will be a whole different kettle of fish

How so?

I rented an Airbnb in Dedham years ago -- ravishing countryside around there.

Less bling, more barbours and wellies

The countryside is beautiful around Dedham - Constable country ❤️

interesting!

I just had a prawn sandwich and I was torn between bacon or chicken and coleslaw but chose the prawn.

Ah I probably would have preferred the bacon tbh

Yes but it would have taken time to cook as well.
I have never had brown sauce on a bacon sandwich just ketchup, maybe next time I’ll be adventurous and try it.

Ah ok so the prawns were pre-made. Yes that makes sense then! Ive never had brown sauce either. Thanks ill make sure I put it on my shopping list for next weeks order!

Brown sauce in a bacon sarnie is the only way.

I always thought it was ketchup!

We moved away from Leigh on Sea when the white Range Rover brigade started moving in. A once-nice, creative, gentle place now seemingly overcrowded with horrible, fake people and their nasty little shits of kids. Went back to visit some (lovely) friends recently and the experience of going out to our once-favourite restaurant was ruined by ridiculously-loud gobshites effing and blinding and showing off like they believed they owned the place. The poor staff looked just as pissed off with them and their loutish, crass behaviour. Awful. So, yes, there's one place that's been ruined by 'people like that'.

Oh give over!

I lived in a similar area but in Cheshire where it was all about who had the biggest car, biggest house, the most fake tan, the puffiest cheeks, shiniest face and cutest doodle. It was all very Love Island. It wasn't my scene at all and struggled to relate to people. It's not uncommon that certain areas attract certain people and they then stay, whereas others move away to find an area that is more suitable to them.

Where you live will also mould your child to some extent, so if you want her to grow up around a different demographic then you should probably move.

yes we've seen this too as can get the c2c there easily. Very true!

Yes that's the scary part, the way it moulds your child!

Well you're an Essex mum so you must have something in common.

I did as well which is why I never tried the brown sauce.

I know this is very outing and I’m glad I recently changed my user name!

Lots of defensiveness going on. Nothing wrong with observing cultural differences - I lived in South West London and had close friends in Essex - used to visit a lot - totally different vibe between the two.

The Essex countryside is gorgeous worth lovely people. I don't get the prevalence of facial fillers and overly white teeth ( and I do lots of other tweakments including having had my teeth done) and so many personalised number plates and hot tubs which I find naff. The men look amazing so well dressed and groomed. Not DH's style at all.

We thought of moving out of London to one of the lovely towns around Chelmsford to get more space in retirement but felt we wouldn't have a lot in common with the average person from Essex .