AIBU for taking my 11 month old to an evening meal?

[MarLiz2026]

Last night I went for dinner with my husband, 11 month old and a few friends. One of our friends lives abroad and doesn’t come back to our hometown often, and he invited us out with a couple other friends to catch up and enjoy a nice evening together.

The meal was booked for 7pm and for different reasons we didn’t have anybody who could look after our baby. It has been several months since we went out for dinner with our daughter, as now she is 11 months old she is much more routined and harder to keep entertained whilst out! But we didn’t want to miss seeing our friend and thought one night isn’t going to harm anybody, we still need to have a life too!

We were seated in a smaller seating area, with a high chair and plenty of room for a pram. The restaurant was quite small and quaint but they were absolutely lovely. Just after we sat down, a couple were sat down near us. It was just our table of 5 + baby and those 2 sat in this area.

We brought toys for our daughter and hoped that once it was around bedtime we could get her to sleep in the pram. She hardly cried, and she just occasionally made some loud noises (like 11 month olds do). We did not let her run or crawl around and she was always either in her high chair or in our arms or the pram. We spent a good portion of the night trying to get her to sleep (with great difficulty) and had to do a bit of pram rocking and breastfeeding and taking her out and putting her back etc and naturally at times she got a little fussy but she was generally really good and didn’t make much noise.

When trying to get her to sleep I rocked her in the pram and me and my husband were putting a great effort into keeping her calm and trying to get her to sleep. The entire time, the couple kept looking at me (the man turning around every few minutes) and the woman staring at me the whole time. They were quite obviously talking about us and the baby and were seemed really annoyed that my daughter was there. I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to make an already awkward situation more awkward, especially as we were having a nice evening with our friends. At one point I overheard them complaining to the staff and it made me feel so uncomfortable and to be honest really upset. When they eventually left I did share with my table and they all said I should have said something, but it has left me feeling really sad and like I have done something wrong by bringing her out?

This is the first time in a long time we have gone out with her in the evening and to be honest it has really put me off taking her out again. I would have taken her for a walk in the pram rather than rocking it in the area but we were actually seated upstairs and had to carry the pram up and down the stairs.

AIBU for taking my daughter? I don’t think I would normally care but as it’s been such a long time since we have done anything with her in the evening it has really knocked my confidence.

Couple were about 70/80
And therefore probably more sensitive to noise. If course that didn't cross your mind, why would it, it's their problem isn't it!

You are just as entitled to go out for a meal at 7pm to see your friends, with your baby as they are. You are also a paying customer
100%. Where entitlement ends is disturbing others to the point it ruins their enjoyment!

Society is becoming more and more selfish. It's just the way it is. It is the reason why people moan more than ever about others... because whereas they claim entitlement to their own selfishness, they challenge the selfishness of others at any chance! It's really quite ironic!

I have no problem with babies coming to a restaurant. I took my babies to restaurants but I did take them out if they became at all restless. In a restaurant context, that's appropriate. I'd have had no problems with the presence of any child if parents are considerate.

However, you have described your child as fussing and that you did your best to keep her calm and get her to sleep. That suggests she might have been noisy and pretty intrusive for other people. In that case, if you aren't prepared to take her out in that situation, your actions were unreasonable.

Not replying to anymore on this post. If you’re going to comment get the facts right - thanks to people who have given their opinion based on what I’ve actually written (whether agreeing with me or not).

To all the people who struggle to read, like to make up scenarios, like to ignore pieces of information and like to attack my personality and my parenting (despite not having a clue who I am) I’m glad this thread provided you with entertainment and something to do with your lives ✌️

If the tables are close together or noise carries easily, I can see that it might be a bit annoying.

That's doesn't mean you were in the wrong. Life is full of minor inconveniences, what you describe really doesn't sound like a big deal and the couple should have just discreetly rolled their eyes at each other and maybe had a bit of a bitch on the way home and that's about it. No need to be complaining to managers or making you feel bad.

It would be different if the baby had been really noisy, or it was a chic, calm, intimate restaurant, but since it allowed dogs and had highchairs that's obviously not the case.

Babies are allowed in public places.

"I don't want a baby there" wahh

Oh well I don't want miserable fucks who hate kids in public but there are plenty of them about.

Imagine if the post was written about anyone else, someone disabled or an elderly person with dementia, or hearing loss that could be "loud and annoying"

Your baby sounds like it was chilled and just being a normal baby and not bothering anyone. Some people are just awful.

Or I said they were 70/80 because the person I replied to suggested they had probably got their own babysitter?
How do you know they didn't pay for someone to look after their Alzheimer's parent? Or maybe they could have brough their drooling, screaming, escaping very old relative, and not care how much it disturbed your meal, or scared your baby because you know, that's their entitlement.

No doubt the thread would have gone a very different way in this instance.

Doesn’t seem like you can read when you didn’t read what I wrote? 😊 I will dictate what I like - it’s my post! Go and do that right back!

Also as a new parent it’s understandable you are totally in the baby bubble. But I honestly except possibly granny your peers are really not that interested in your baby however kind and polite they are. Don’t end up one of those that brings a toddler to a hen weekend or a morose teen to adult drinks 🙈🙈

I have two young children, and I find it hard sometimes, but i’m not asking for sympathy, I’m simply voicing how my experience has been up to now, which I’m entitled to do so, if you didn't find it hard at all, thats great, not everyone's experience is the same.

This.

Doesn't sound enjoyable for anyone tbh.

Also, a pram for a 11mth old? Isn't she in a buggy which obviously would've been easy for someone to whip downstairs and walk her outside for a bit?

We can all debate whether our culture should be more like others but it isn't. If you go out for an evening no one wants to be sat near a fussy 11month old.

Look OP, you clearly think you were being totally reasonable so why ask? You are determined to justify yourself to anyone who disagrees. And as for ✌️? Just stop. It's passive aggressive and surely "peace" is the opposite of what you were bestowing on the unfortunate couple that had their meal disturbed. I dare say you will be back on to tell me how wrong I am...... (Oh, nearly forgot ✌️✌️)

I have two young children, and I find it hard sometimes, but i’m not asking for sympathy, I’m simply voicing how my experience has been up to now, which I’m entitled to do so, if you didn't find it hard at all, thats great, not everyone's experience is the same.

I did once have to ask to move tables in a restaurant due to sitting beside a noisy baby - I had arranged childcare for my own 3 month old and I desperately needed a mental health break. This was obviously not the case here, but I can see why some people would hate to sit beside a baby when trying to escape their own.

Generally i don’t mind sitting near children in restaurants so long as they are not using very loud media. However, if there was significant fuss and disruption i would find it very rude that the child was not taken out or home. It is important that families are included socially but that comes with the responsibility not to disturb others.

iIt sounds like your baby is not at the right development stage for evening meals.

You did nothing wrong. They are just miserable people, this country has a problem and needs to do more to incorporate children into public places and respect that children are human beings and not nuisances. People are very valid in their decision to not have children in their lives but they cannot be arsey about children being in public spaces. I often find it’s boomers who are like this.

Imagine if it was the other way round? Imagine if we complained to the restaurant because there were miserable old people slurping their food m, glaring at everyone and moaning loudly about their lives and everything? Imagine if we said old people shouldn’t be allowed out in the evenings and should only be allowed in restaurants at designated times? I imagine children bring more joy than a lot of old miserable people.

Obviously, I don’t believe in this. I think everyone should be tolerant of each other and all try our best to make public spaces pleasant for everyone!

I think just ignore people like that, I know it’s hard to and I don’t think your friends advice of saying something would have made it better either. Sometimes it’s best to just ignore miserable people like that and think to yourself, sucks to be someone like you who just sees the negative in everything instead of admiring the hard work of new parents trying to reconnect with people who are important to them during a monumental life changing period of time. Miserable people have miserable lives. Keep going out with your baby to meet your friends, spread that joy - there will be other situations where the strangers at the next table are delighted to see new parents thriving.

When we were in France on a beach holiday it was wonderful, amazing chic restaurants and totally child friendly into the evening.

I loved the newborn stage because they were so portable and you can take them out to dinner and they sleep - around 11 months it started to be more trouble than it was worth for us!

Now we stick to taking toddlers out to pub lunches where it doesn’t matter so much if they’re running riot and if we want to see friends in evening we either get a babysitter, just one of us goes or we do dinner parties at home where there is less pressure.

But that’s not to not annoy other guests, just because it’s not enjoyable for us feeling like it’s such a luck of the draw how they’re going to be and not worth it being a potential nightmare.

You didn’t do anything wrong and the couple sounds unpleasant.

No restaurant is ‘child friendly’ in the evening; the high chair is for day time use. 7pm is bedtime for a child that age, so that’s where they should have been.

I wouldn't be impressed if I'd paid for a babysitter for a rare childfree meal and then had someone else's baby a few feet away.

This would have annoyed me if it was a nice restaurant, which it sounds like it was. The restaurant is between a rock and a hard place and I appreciate they have high chairs but that doesn’t mean that it’s ok to take a baby for dinner in an adult environment. Pizza at 5pm - fine. Nice place for a date night - not fine.

Miserable gits. Mind you, they might have given you the same look without baby. Or your baby made them think about the gc they are not allowed to see because their dc has gone nc with them due to them being miserable twats.

bedtime is at the time chosen by parents, you don't make the rules.

I certainly took my baby with me in the evening, it's a complete non issue.

Neither do I. I only have a problem with dogs in restaurants!

British people hate children. You're not supposed to leave the house until they're 15.

In all honesty, it would annoy me and I would have hopefully been more subtle about my annoyance than they were, but would probably less subtle than I'd hope.

Now we stick to taking toddlers out to pub lunches where it doesn’t matter so much if they’re running riot

I'm sure that's fun for the other patrons!