To be fed up with my manager bringing his DS to the office?

[EvergreenDays]

I work in a small office and am deputy manager. My manager is also the owner of the company, and we share an office. I’ve worked there for about 4 years and genuinely like my job. He’s always been decent to me and I don’t want to fall out with him or make things awkward.

The issue is his 15yo son who has started coming into work with him more or less every day.

His son has ADHD and has apparently had a really difficult time with his mental health and behaviour and school. There have been hospital visits and from what my manager has said it’s been a pretty awful time for them. I don’t know all the details and wouldn’t expect to, but I do feel for them.

Apparently they’ve backed off the school pressure a bit and he’s actually doing better mentally now. He managed a few days back in September but has refused to go since. His mum works too and my manager says he can’t really leave him at home all day, he says if he stays home he’ll just sleep and play games all day and that isn’t good for him either.

At first he only came in occasionally but it’s become more and more frequent and now it’s pretty much daily. He brings his Switch and phone and sits playing on them. There are a few little jobs he can do but he’s already done most of them. He’ll sometimes make drinks if asked but that’s about it really. He’s also very restless and can be quite loud, arguing with his dad or complaining about something. He seems to drink nothing but Fanta, which isn’t really my business and there may be reasons for it, but he does seem permanently hyper.

The thing is when my manager is there he tends to just ignore him or tell him to be quiet. But when he’s in meetings or on calls or has to go elsewhere I’m left with him. I’ve had to tell him not to touch things, not to go through paperwork and to stop interrupting me when I’m trying to deal with work. I’m his dad’s deputy, not his babysitter, and I don’t really know what authority I’m supposed to have over him anyway.

I know teenagers can be difficult and I have no experience of having one. I’ve got a 3yo and a 20 month old so completely different stages. I also appreciate his son has additional needs and that my manager is probably under a lot of pressure. I don’t want to sound like I’m having a go at a struggling child or a parent who’s trying his best.

But I am finding it increasingly irritating having him here all day, particularly when I’m expected to keep an eye on him as well as do my own job. I feel like because I’m the deputy it’s just been assumed I’ll manage.

The problem is I actually really like my job and don’t want to leave. It’s a small company and there isn’t really anyone above him I can go to. I also don’t want to be seen as difficult or unkind, especially when he’s the ultimately the person who employs me.

I'm not so sure. I used to tell myself that. I stayed in a job that I only half liked. And I know it's not easy to find jobs BUT I came to the conclusion that there are jobs out there and there's no reason you couldn't be happy somewhere else. I think your current situation sounds intolerable and I actually think your boss has got a cheek to expect uou to put up with it. It's diarespectful and he's dumping on you.

Observational research does find a clear association between frequent consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages and higher rates of behavioural or attention problems in children and teens.

High-fructose corn syrup and added sugars cause rapid energy spikes followed by sharp crashes, which can mimic or worsen inattentiveness and mood shifts.

Certain artificial ingredients and chemical preservatives found in soft drinks have been linked in some studies to increased ADHD symptoms. Children or adults who are neurodivergent or sensitive to stimulants may react more strongly to soda ingredients.

Not breaking the law at all, sounds like he's off due to his MH.
Can you speak to your manager? Tell him you're not sure what you are meant to do when son is there, but if he's the manager he can do what he like.
He will also be under a lot of pressure trying to manage this situation he probably hasn't considered the impact on you, is there any other employees?

Not even sugary anyway. Just artificial bs

Ridiculous

Aporoach manager.

What tasks can we give him?
Whats the plan here, how can I help make it happen?
im worried he's bored, just online and getting nothing from it. What do you want him to be doing?
If he seems to need a movement break, are you ok for me to ask him to sweep & litter pick the car park/ clean windows/etc?
Can be have a budget for office improvements? Send him out for plants etc.

Basically, your life would be easier if you had permission to send him away to do vaguely useful tasks, particularly if someone else thouvht up those tasks.

Sorry op I think you will either find another job or get over it .

It sounds annoying but he’s the owners son. You’re going to have to leave if you can’t put up with it.

I think you need to have an honest conversation with your boss about the impact on your work. Be supportive for his situation but your boss needs to know the challenges. Nothing might be able to change for now but being honest will help.

Some simple things might help like sorting out your office so he can’t get into paperwork, tidy it away, put into locked drawers if needed.

A lot of the behaviours you are finding irritating are ADHD behaviours so a gentle encouragement that your boss needs to support these might be needed, such as movement breaks, going for walk, spinning on office chair, football outside.

I think this will only be temporary and I doubt the boss wants him there either . I think you need to create your own work area for yourself outside of your office , just state ‘ you’re giving them more privacy or similar . Find an unused room / desk / cubby hole and work from there until this is over .

Can you work from home?

It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with the owner, so next time the son isn't around I would try a conversation along the lines of, So, how long is [son] going to be coming into the office?.....I know you're in a difficult position, it's just he's quite disruptive when you're in meetings and it makes the office a lot less pleasant to be in.....

If other employees have also expressed annoyance or concern, that's worth bringing up too. You don't have to be putting your foot down. You can just raise it as a concern and see what he does about it.

I think you have 2 options. Ideally, find another desk to work from. We don’t know anything about your set up but is that an option you could approach your boss with? You could use the fact that he keeps interrupting you maybe to justify that it would probably be better if boss and son have the space to themselves.
If that isn’t an option, I’d try to ignore him. Let him touch whatever he touches (assuming it’s not your stuff), dont ‘supervise’ him if it can possibly be avoided - anything short of injuring himself. You are right, you have no authority over him. His actions are not your business. If he interrupts you tell him politely you can’t help him because you are working. If he keeps pestering get up and go to the loo or find another reason to get out of his way for 5 minutes. Keep reiterating you can’t help him because you are working. Eventually he will get the message you are not available to relieve his boredom.

Is there anywhere else you can sit? Out with others? In a meeting room? Work from home?

Does the son actually need your supervision when his father is absent, or is the issue really that the two of you are forced to share a space? Could you make a change to work from home or from a co-working space - or even a conference room or empty office in your normal work location? Of course, you should not have to do this but if it's possible it may give some relief in the short term. If the son does clearly need your supervision, explain to your boss how you are incorporating this new task set into your workday and what responsibilities are likely to lapse or be neglected due to your shift in focus.

I think you will have to have a tactful discussion with your boss about the impact in your work and your concern that ‘he’s a lovely lad but…’ and the understandable issue that you don’t have any authority as you are not his Dad so it’s difficult when you are on your own and he messes with paperwork etc. And suggest making him a dedicated space in which to watch films or whatever.

But the parents need to be working to get him back into school. Very frustrating for you.

Maybe be ‘not looking’ when he does something disruptive or of threat to the business? If he causes a near crisis his Dad might cop on.

I think the only thing to do is be honest with your boss - that his kid acts up as soon as he’s left and you’d like to be moved out on to the main floor in order to concentrate.

You're finding it difficult because you're a woman and expected to be tolerant and nurturing. How would a man approach this?
Maybe, something like: Bob, Having your son here is distracting and interfering with our work. Could an alternative be found?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be irritated but truthfully if you make a fuss, dad will like hire someone else who doesn’t mind. Clearly this is not a first option for them as a family. Life is pretty stressful. So I think you need to get some good noise cancelling headphones and let it go.

This. I'm actually surprised no one had suggested communicating with your boss.

A PC? To work?? He's got a switch, he won't be entertained by a PC. OP already said he's been given jobs to do and he's already done them. What office equipment can a 15 year old really use in 2026? There's no paper for filing, photocopying is obsolete. It's the dad's job to set him up with something to do, not OP's.

OP have you actually told your boss it's difficult to focus on your work (the stuff he pays you to do) while his son is there?

Have you been asked to babysit him or have you just taken it upon yourself when is Dad isn't around?

Sounds like he has a fair clatter of ADHD, for sure.
The arguing, restlessness, interrupting, school refusal.
Sounds like he needs to be medicated.

I would look for another job.
He'll probably start working there full time or as much as he can manage soon enough and cause even more chaos.
Then he'll inherit the business and run it into the ground.
You'll have to leave sooner or later. May as well be sooner.

What would happen if you stopped actively looking after him? Eg let him touch things and possibly break them?

As deputy manager surely you have the right to bring this up with your boss?