To be fed up with my manager bringing his DS to the office?

[EvergreenDays]

I work in a small office and am deputy manager. My manager is also the owner of the company, and we share an office. I’ve worked there for about 4 years and genuinely like my job. He’s always been decent to me and I don’t want to fall out with him or make things awkward.

The issue is his 15yo son who has started coming into work with him more or less every day.

His son has ADHD and has apparently had a really difficult time with his mental health and behaviour and school. There have been hospital visits and from what my manager has said it’s been a pretty awful time for them. I don’t know all the details and wouldn’t expect to, but I do feel for them.

Apparently they’ve backed off the school pressure a bit and he’s actually doing better mentally now. He managed a few days back in September but has refused to go since. His mum works too and my manager says he can’t really leave him at home all day, he says if he stays home he’ll just sleep and play games all day and that isn’t good for him either.

At first he only came in occasionally but it’s become more and more frequent and now it’s pretty much daily. He brings his Switch and phone and sits playing on them. There are a few little jobs he can do but he’s already done most of them. He’ll sometimes make drinks if asked but that’s about it really. He’s also very restless and can be quite loud, arguing with his dad or complaining about something. He seems to drink nothing but Fanta, which isn’t really my business and there may be reasons for it, but he does seem permanently hyper.

The thing is when my manager is there he tends to just ignore him or tell him to be quiet. But when he’s in meetings or on calls or has to go elsewhere I’m left with him. I’ve had to tell him not to touch things, not to go through paperwork and to stop interrupting me when I’m trying to deal with work. I’m his dad’s deputy, not his babysitter, and I don’t really know what authority I’m supposed to have over him anyway.

I know teenagers can be difficult and I have no experience of having one. I’ve got a 3yo and a 20 month old so completely different stages. I also appreciate his son has additional needs and that my manager is probably under a lot of pressure. I don’t want to sound like I’m having a go at a struggling child or a parent who’s trying his best.

But I am finding it increasingly irritating having him here all day, particularly when I’m expected to keep an eye on him as well as do my own job. I feel like because I’m the deputy it’s just been assumed I’ll manage.

The problem is I actually really like my job and don’t want to leave. It’s a small company and there isn’t really anyone above him I can go to. I also don’t want to be seen as difficult or unkind, especially when he’s the ultimately the person who employs me.

Is the place insured to have him there? We had a blanket “no children in the workplace rule”, which people used to ignore, but it was strictly enforced when someone’s unsupervised toddler fell from top to bottom on a marble staircase and they threatened to sue. Bad luck for those whose older kids used to come quietly into the office after school for an hour and do their homework before Dad took them home, but we had to enforce the rule.

There’s nothing about no children allowed although no one brings them but it’s different because he’s a teen not a young child

bump

His son will always come first. As he gets older, he’ll probably start to work there permanently. So there’s absolutely zero point in mentioning your issue. Your only option is to leave if it bothers you that much.

Is there a meeting room that can be converted to an office or some alternative seating arrangement that means he shared a space with his dad and you have your own space? I think id set it up and say ‘oh as liam comes with you most days now it thought i’d give you some space and get on with my work out here’

Hopefully the kid will feel better mentally soon and be able to return to school. Sounds like the dad’s doing the best he can. Just wait it out, this too shall pass.

Is there any additional place that he can go?

Do you need to be in the office? I think you will need to discuss it however. The issue with insurance is that most companies are not insured for under 18s,unless supervised so something does need to be there.

The benefit of owning your own business, he can bring his ds in as much as he likes and, like any parent, he’s putting ds first.

Tricky one OP! I can see why he’s doing it but also that it makes your job hard.

is there another space you can work in peace?

This is nonsense. Dd is 15 and works so can clearly be in the office and many people can take dc to work. Not ideal but needs must.

He owns the company so you need to suck it up or leave.

I understand that, it’s more of the fact that I’m essentially babysitting him which i’m getting fed up with. I was never asked and if he sat still and quietly like most teens probably would that’d be one thing but he isn’t

This is nonsense. He is a year 11 and needs to be in school
. Contact the schools safeguarding tell them where he is. It's breaking the law not sending him into education.
The dad doesn't sound very bright to me.

Every time he leaves you alone with him can you just leave the room? Whatever gets fucked up gets fucked up. Just shrug

You need to make him aware of what happens when he’s out the office

There's no evidenced data that sugary drinks make you hyper

I highly doubt the school are unaware and want him in school. There'll be no provision.

This would drive me mad. But I’d probably just start looking for another job.

How awkward OP.
All you can do is hope he goes back to school ASAP- can you ask your manager for any tips or guidance on how to supervise his son? Not that you should have to but it might just make him realise what he is expecting

Gosh lots of very bad advice on this thread. No need to go nuclear or to suck it up for ever.

Just raise it with your boss, from the pov that you are struggling to concentrate and could another space be made available for his son? Yes it’s his child, but you need the right conditions to do your job properly and your boss will surely understand that.

I do get that and it sounds really annoying but I don’t think there’s a lot you can do other than headphones and ignore him. Hopefully it’s just a stage he’ll get through. Once they finish gcse year, a lot of boys are much happier as they can do things they actually want to do.

You’re right there isn’t , the ‘hyped up on sugar’ thing is a myth. Im not sure tango contains any sugar though? But probably is full of colourings , preservatives, e- number shite which he could be maybe reacting to .

Just leave. You shouldnt have to put up with that.

It’s not easy to just leave though

Is there a PC you can set him up on when his dad is in meetings? In your shoes I would use a few mins of my time to interact with him, show him how to use office equipment or give him a small job. Pay it forward and your kids will hopefully meet a kind stranger too.