I wonder what you all think of this. This is I’m afraid the first-worldest of first world problems, however it is causing me upset and causing tension within my family, so I’d be genuinely grateful to know if I’m completely in the wrong. (I also saw a similar story about a borrowed house on here yesterday so it’s well timed.)
A couple of years ago, after the sale of part of a business (said evasively so I’m not immediately identifiable) I bought a flat in London. It’s quite small but it’s in a nice part and very central. I bought I guess as dream-come-true thing, so I could go down at weekends for shows and shopping. I also use it occasionally when in London for work, and I’ve always made it clear to my friends and family that they can use it pretty much when they want, and many do which gives me a lot of pleasure.
A few weeks back my DMIL had ‘booked’ it for a weekend, and a few days before the trip she called me quite agitated asking me to drop off the keys. I said “I’m seeing you later in the week before you go, I’ll pass them over then”, but she kept insisting she wanted them in plenty of time. She is a bit sneaky in many ways and I smelled a rat, so then I said (untruthfully, but I wanted to put her on the spot) “Actually I’m going to be in London on Friday, I’ll see you at the flat.”
Long story short, it turned out she’d decided not to go down, so had told a friend of her precious eldest child that he could borrow the flat that weekend. This friend is someone I don’t particularly like or trust and wouldn’t have considered close enough to lend my flat to.
I’ve been told I’m being “selfish” and “rude”, and that I’ve “let him down and left him with nowhere to stay”. DMIL also said that the flat was hers for the weekend so she assumed she could do as she wished with it, and doesn’t see the problem.
In anger I said: “You obviously didn’t think it was fine because you lied about it.” I also said “I said you could borrow it, I didn’t sell you a **ing timeshare you could pass on.” I shouldn’t have sworn but I feel she’s been dishonest and incredibly presumptuous. I don’t feel I’ve let this person down as I never promised them anything.
Am I being unreasonable?